Knockaround buy one get one free

Hello everyone!
First of all, I appreciate you for taking the time to read this. It will be comprehensive, but to the point so let's get started.
As most of you know, I began streaming on RPAN towards the end of 2021 until November 2022 - when rpan ceased to exist. It was a glorious run, starting off with sharing my dabbing collection to the early viewers, moving on to couch seshes with my friends, back to showing the closet in a way that mixed the couch feel inside my room. This evolved to the current set up you may have seen and recognize to this date: the computer desk set up! It allowed me to run RPAN with more quality control than before. This included sharing my computer screen and music, as well as reply to comments when I could not before. This was the outline for the Twitch set up transition. I ported every detail over but with the help of my friend and investor B-Ran, he gifted me the ability to stream on Twitch using OBS. I finally got a streamcam and dedicated mic which allowed for a star guest and much more.
Without B-ran, Complexcat, whenitrainitpours, and many more of you, I would not be able to grow my Twitch/Reddit/platforms so quickly. It is super appreciated and I'm grateful you allow me to bless your day with a touch of Dabbin' Danny.
Moving to present day, I offer you my official stream launch.
"What do you mean official?" you may ask? Traditionally, people have professional lay outs on Twitch using software such as Streamlabs, etc. I worked many hours over days and months to bring you a professional Spaced Out^TM approved layout. This stream channel has many features that compete with the big dogs, and all I ask is for you to check it out! I have worked on emotes, multiple camera angles, and interacting with participating chatters. I truly believe you will not regret checking out my Twitch channel.
Click here to be instantly teleported, or search XDanny7 on Twitch!
I also wanted to explain my other forms of social media below:
(Youtube) This is where I'll be uploading content that is forever to stay, able to be shared, can be seen in more than 1 smart device. It is the butter to my bread; extra content when I can edit and upload so you can watch something in between my daily streams!
(Spaced Out Rangers Discord) This is where you can share anything you would like to a community of positive, kind, and differing interests. You can ask questions, and I'll do my best to answer them or someone else can! I encourage anyone interested in participating on stream chats/seshes when you watch LIVE!
(Twitter) This is where you can follow me to get notified more frequently about when I'll be live, any life/stream updates, and business information for collabs/deals. Won't really be actively replying here, so reach out to the discord above please.
(Linktree) This is where you can find all my links, so you can bookmark this single website to access any of my social media at any time you want. Just a reminder, this is not a notification website, so you must follow me on Twitch or Twitter.
(Patreon) This is where you can support me outside of Twitch on a monthly basis. If you prefer a one time donation, check out my Reddit profile links, Linktree, or Twitch 'about me' page. I try to provide content for you in return for your much appreciated support. So please inquire about donating and what you want in return whenever you see me live for a better response.
To summarize, you can find me on all of these links provided above and I'm only a direct message away as well. I strive to be a better engaging streamer, and will do my best on a daily basis. So don't worry, I've come to the conclusion that streaming and content creation is my passion. I'm here writing to you today to make that official. Thank you, and have a wonderful day.

hi, so i just got an external bluray drive. less than a week ago? and everything was working fine and dandy. I used MakeMKV in order to watch bluray through vlc and it just worked. today, i swapped out my hard drive and ssd for bigger ones and now suddenly when i try and load a bluray disc it just gets stuck in eternal loading. If i try and load it as a dvd it rightfully gives me an error message, but if i tell vlc to play a bluray it just bounces back and forth forever. ive uninstalled and reinstalled vlc already but nothing has changed. is this a vlc issue or an issue with something else?

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I go back to work on June 12 and it's suddenly hitting me like a ton of bricks that I don't think I'm ready.
I don't think I'm ready for multiple reasons; I haven't actually worked since early/mid January and then I went for a couple days a week for about a month/month and a half-ish. Then the other, obvious one, bring that I'm not ready to leave my daughter with a sitter. It's not a stranger, but still. I'm ready to continue spending my days in the routine we are developing. I don't want to miss anything and I feel like things will be different/difficult if I actually say anything.
I have a super supportive partner and I know he'd tell me to stay home longer and try to get me out of the house for a few hours each week to work back into it. He'd talk to our very understanding boss about having me possibly just do part time, which i might even end up suggesting before the 12th.
It's not like i feel like I'm going to be a bad mom for going back to work because I don't. I just don't want to leave her, not even with her very involved, active, wonderful father. I'm fine at home. I just want to be close and I want to be able to see and hear her, pick her up for snuggles, etc.
Does it get easier? I feel like I'm going to have to lie when I inevitably get asked how I'm doing away from her. It's unfortunate my 6 week follow up is the same day I go back to work and I'll only be working roughly a half day before I'll be with her again. So, I can't really judge how well I'm doing back at work and away from her like I would be able to if I had been back at work for at least 3 full days.
I just needed to vent, I guess, because I'm feeling like I can't be honest about these feelings right now.

👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 02:59
Hello
[03:01]
Sorry for the random dm
[03:01]
I read that u were having trouble making new friends online
[03:02]
If I read correctly, you're in your 30s?
[03:02]
I am too
[03:03]
Anyway, if u wanna chat and see if we have anything in common u can shoot me a dm
[03:04]
I need friends too
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:15
​
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:16
Tell me about yourself?
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:16
Well.. I am a nerdy guy with love of science fiction and PC games.
[03:17]
That's me summed up in one sentence ha
[03:17]
How about you?
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:17
I'm a nerdy girl with a love of science fiction and games
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:18
Hey, that sounds great! What's your favourites?
[03:18]
What genres do you like?
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:18
Rn I'm obsessed with the new zelda
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:19
Oh boy I've seen the trailers, it looks absolutely stunning.
[03:20]
I actually watched a stream of Critical Role doing a one-shot Dnd campaign based of in game lore.
[03:20]
As a promotion of the game.
[03:20]
It was super cool.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:20
Aye I like DND too
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:20
Did you ever read SCPs?
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:21
I've listened to basically every SCP video on the YouTube
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:21
That's one of my go-to places when I want to read something cool.
[03:21]
Some of them are so well written it's insane.
[03:22]
What's your favorite out of the ones you know?
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:22
The sentient ball of yarn lol
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:23
Never read that one, tell me about it
[03:23]
Or tell you what, I'ma go have a quick read of it.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:24
Thank you, my memory is trash
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:24
It's the SCP-66, yes?
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:25
Unsure
[03:26]
I think maybe
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:26
That is pretty cool one for sure
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:26
Yeah sorry for being so vague, I'm like mid-migraine
[03:27]
Hard to think
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:27
Sorry to hear that. Hope it passes quickly!
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:27
Yeah ty I can still chat and everything
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:28
So I've noticed your about me says that you have some strong stances on certain topic.
[03:28]
Tell me about it if you don't mind.
[03:29]
How did you come to hold these views?
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👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:29
I watched Dominion on YouTube and saw the truth about animal exploitation
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:30
Would you link me the video? I'm curious to see myself.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:30
Ofc
[03:30]
https://youtu.be/LQRAfJyEsko
YouTube
Farm Transparency Project
Dominion (2018) - full documentary [Official]
​
[03:31]
It's a 2 hour documentary
[03:32]
You're honestly the first person in my almost three years of activism to actually ask to see it
[03:32]
Most people don't want to know the truth they are culpable in
[03:33]
Even bringing up veganism usually makes a person agressive towards me
[03:34]
Personality I'll take bitter truth over a comfortable lie any day
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:35
It's because of people that use veganism to feel and act morally superior to others.
[03:35]
Those people give all vegans a bad name.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:35
Yeah I used to be an asshole vegan too ahahaha
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:37
Well if you know than you are aware that it's nothing against you personally, but rather the practice of how you implement it in your life.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:37
Egoism doesn't look good on anyone
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:37
But people will remain people and not realise you can't put everyone into one basket.
[03:39]
I strive to remain an individualist. Someone who believes each person is to be evaluated separately regardless of what their beliefs and backgrouds are.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:39
Animals are individuals too
[03:40]
And deserve the same consideration
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:40
The video you provided is quite drastic. I see how it could have affected you to such extent.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:40
The video is the industry standard in every developed country, actually
[03:41]
This happens everywhere
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:41
There are differences obviously from place to place, but that is the general gist of it.
[03:41]
Although there are exceptions of course.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:41
Such as?
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:42
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8Z_fDL9C3M
YouTube
Just a Few Acres Farm
how we raise 35 Dexter cattle on 30 acres - without buying hay!
​
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:43
Regardless of how they are raised they all end up dead
[03:43]
Usually in a slaughterhouse
[03:43]
I've actually written about the ethics if you care to read it
[03:44]
I've had these conversations so much that I've made my own copypastas xD
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:44
Sure I would be glad to have a look
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:45
“Is sensory pleasure a justification for violence?” In today’s society, plant-based foods are readily available. Vegan staples such as rice, pasta, beans, legumes, fruits, and vegetables are among the most affordable food options. It is no longer necessary to exploit animals for food so why do we do it? Most people will tell you they like the taste of meat and don’t want to give it up. The interesting thing is that if taste satisfaction is a justification for needless violence, then logically other forms of sensory pleasure would also be justified. Thieves steal for the pleasure they gain from increasing their wealth and the excitement of breaking the law. Rapists rape for the pleasure they get from their victims. Serial killers kill for pleasure too. In all these forms of injustice, the wellbeing of the victims of these crimes are completely disregarded. The same is true for animal exploitation. To be logically consistent, you would have to say that all of these things are morally acceptable under the same justification. Obviously, it is not ok to steal, rape, and murder to please your senses, so the logical conclusion is that it is equally unacceptable to kill animals for taste satisfaction.
[03:46]
I have more
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Victorpollack — Today at 03:46
Bring it on
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:47
Wow you aren't even arguing, I've found a unicorn
[03:47]
Is it ok to kill an animal because they were bred for food? To be honest, it doesn’t really matter what your intentions were when you brought the animal into existence. Animals have no concept of purpose. Every animal bred for food wants to live, avoid harm, and experience wellbeing. It’s cruel to bring a creature into the world for the sole purpose of exploitation and murder, when you don’t need to. You can just live vegan.
[03:48]
Is it okay to kill an animal if you gave them a good life? No matter how you treat an animal, the bottom line is you don’t actually need to kill them. Taking their life is an unnecessary cruelty. There is no polite way to murder someone. If you went out on a date with someone and showed them a great time and then drugged the person and raped them, even if they did not experience pain and suffering, your actions are still immoral.
[03:48]
“Is it morally acceptable to kill when you don’t need to?” This is another important question. According to The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, a properly planned vegan diet is nutritionally adequate for all stages of life. Since we have established that animals are killed for sensory pleasure, we must conclude that killing them is unnecessary. Animals are sentient beings that have the will to live, avoid harm and suffering, and the desire to experience wellbeing.
[03:49]
In the meat and dairy industries, animals are forcibly impregnated via artificial insemination. Artificial insemination is the soft term the industry uses to downplay the rape and sexual exploitation of these beings. Don’t be fooled. It is rape. If this was done to a human being, it would be unacceptable, but because it is happening behind closed doors where their screams cannot be heard by you, the consumer, it is easy for the average person to shut their eyes and heart to the suffering of these innocent creatures. It’s easier to look away and tell yourself that somewhere in this monstrous industry, something humane has happened. That these animals have had a good life and a clean death. This is a comforting lie but a lie none the less.
[03:49]
“free range” and “cage free” eggs are not more humane than other eggs. These terms were coined by the egg industry to make you feel better about buying eggs, to make you think that the chickens live happy lives, free-roaming. THIS IS A LIE. Cage free and free range chickens are kept in factory sheds, much like those the egg laying hens are raised in. They suffer the same deficiencies and cruel conditions as hens raised in battery cages.
[03:50]
There is no essential nutrient found in animal products you cannot obtain elsewhere. You can be perfectly healthy on a plant based diet as acknowledged by the academy of nutrition and dietetics. It's senseless premeditated murder to participate in animal exploitation. Leave animals the fuck alone.
[03:50]
Some of these are a bit agressive, apologies
[03:50]
I wrote them a few years ago
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:51
The question of whether sensory pleasure justifies violence is a complex ethical issue that requires careful consideration. While it is true that in today's society there are abundant plant-based food options available, and it is no longer necessary to exploit animals for food, the ethical implications extend beyond mere taste satisfaction. Your analogy highlighting other forms of sensory pleasure, such as theft, rape, and murder, raises valid points about the disregard for the well-being of victims in these acts of injustice. It emphasizes the importance of considering the moral implications of our actions and the consequences they have on others. When it comes to animal exploitation for taste satisfaction, it is crucial to recognize that animals can experience pain, suffering, and have an interest in avoiding harm, much like humans do. Many people argue that because animals possess the capacity to suffer, it is morally wrong to cause them unnecessary harm for our pleasure or convenience. Ethical frameworks differ among individuals and cultures, and reasonable people may hold different perspectives on this matter. Some argue that there are instances where violence can be justified, such as self-defense or protecting others from harm. However, when it comes to exploiting animals for taste pleasure, the necessity and ethical justifiability are heavily debated.
[03:51]
Ultimately, the decision to consume animal products is a personal choice that depends on a variety of factors, including one's values, beliefs, and consideration of the moral implications involved. It is important to engage in open and respectful discussions about these issues, promoting understanding and empathy for different perspectives, while striving towards a more compassionate and sustainable world. The ethics of killing animals bred for food is a highly debated topic, and opinions vary among individuals and cultures. Some argue that if an animal has been bred and raised for the specific purpose of being food, then it is acceptable to kill them for that purpose. They may contend that these animals would not exist if it weren't for the demand for their meat, and thus their lives have some inherent value in fulfilling their intended purpose. On the other hand, there are those who believe that breeding animals for the sole purpose of exploitation and slaughter is inherently cruel. They argue that animals have their own interests in life, to live, avoid harm, and experience well-being, regardless of the intentions behind their breeding. They advocate for a more compassionate approach, suggesting that we should prioritize the well-being of these animals and work towards reducing or eliminating their suffering by adopting a vegan lifestyle. It is important to note that these viewpoints stem from differing ethical frameworks and values. Ultimately, the decision on whether it is acceptable to kill animals bred for food is a personal choice that depends on one's beliefs and moral considerations. Engaging in respectful discussions and considering the perspectives of others can help foster understanding and empathy on this complex issue. It is essential to approach these conversations with an open mind and a willingness to explore different viewpoints in order to promote compassionate and sustainable choices.
[03:53]
I think this is the most diplomatic way one could answer :p
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:55
Do you know what speciesism is
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:55
Belief that one species is surperior to others.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:55
It's the entire reason animal exploitation exists
[03:56]
The root cause
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:57
However, it is important to note that the causes and perpetuation of the animal-food industry are multi-faceted. Economic factors, cultural traditions, and individual choices also play significant roles in shaping the industry's practices and growth.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:57
Same concept as racism, antisemitism, sexism, ableism, etc etc
​
Victorpollack — Today at 03:59
moral relativism..
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 03:59
Hm?
[03:59]
I can see you're going to teach me some stuff
[03:59]
Excited
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:00
I just want to point out that moral relativism could be put within those categories.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:00
Please define moral relativism
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:01
Sorry I'm thinking of another word
[04:01]
It's at the tip of my tounge
[04:01]
Moral relativism is the opposite of what I was going for,
[04:02]
Moral relativism is a philosophical standpoint that suggests moral judgments and values are not objectively true or universally applicable, but rather depend on individual, cultural, or societal perspectives. According to moral relativism, there are no absolute or universal moral standards that can be objectively established. Instead, moral judgments are considered to be relative to the particular context, beliefs, or cultural norms in which they arise. This view recognizes that different individuals or societies may have diverse moral frameworks, and what is considered morally right or wrong can vary accordingly. It emphasizes the importance of understanding and respecting different moral perspectives without asserting the existence of absolute moral truths.
[04:02]
Moral superiority is what I wanted to say
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:03
I don't understand your point
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Victorpollack — Today at 04:05
What I'm saying is that it's important to hold your views while realising the danger of falling into the same practices that which you wish to avoid.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:06
Owning slaves was socially acceptable not even that long ago, do you think that slavery is objectively bad?
[04:06]
It was also culturally accepted
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:07
Indeed.
[04:08]
It was however a product of the times during which much of the world had no concept of philosophy, scientific method and access to information.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:08
Do you see the parallel?
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:08
I absolutely see your point of view, yes.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:08
What are your thoughts on the matter
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Victorpollack — Today at 04:09
To summarize it is a complex and multi-faceted issue. Ultimately, the decision on whether it is acceptable to kill animals bred for food is a personal choice that depends on one's beliefs and moral considerations.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:10
Now replace "kill animals" with "own slaves"
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Victorpollack — Today at 04:11
That would not apply in modern times.
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👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:11
I don't see a difference
[04:12]
Having one standard for animals and another for humans is speciesist
[04:12]
Would you hold the same position with any other injustice
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:13
Killing animals and owning slaves are distinct practices with different ethical considerations. While both involve the treatment of living beings, there are significant differences in the nature and moral implications of these actions. Here are some key distinctions: Moral status: Slavery involves the ownership and subjugation of human beings, denying their basic rights, freedoms, and autonomy. Slavery is widely condemned due to its inherent violation of human rights and the principle of equality among individuals. Animals, on the other hand, are often not considered to have the same moral status as humans.This difference in moral standing is a point of ethical contention and subject to various philosophical perspectives. Consent, autonomy: Slavery involves the deprivation of an individual's consent and autonomy. Enslaved people are forced into a state of subordination and are often subjected to coercion, violence, and exploitation. In contrast, animals do not possess the same level of cognitive and moral agency as humans. This difference in cognitive capacity and understanding raises questions about the extent to which animals can give informed consent or exercise autonomy. Historical and societal context: Slavery has a long history deeply rooted in systemic oppression, racism, and the exploitation of vulnerable populations. It has been a significant source of suffering and injustice throughout human history. While animal exploitation in various forms has also existed throughout history, the moral considerations and societal attitudes toward animal rights have evolved over time, with increasing recognition of the ethical treatment of animals. It is important to note that the comparison between killing animals and owning slaves can be complex, as it involves different philosophical perspectives, cultural contexts, and individual beliefs. Ethical discussions around these topics are ongoing, and viewpoints may differ based on diverse moral frameworks and values.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:16
There are humans who have less cognitive capacity than animals
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:16
That we can definitely agree on haha.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:17
Still we wouldn't exploit and kill them
[04:17]
And personally I don't know anyone, human or animal, that would consent to what you saw in dominion
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:18
A lot of people do exploit those cognitively impaired. Plenty of scammers out there.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:18
I'm sure you hear the screams
[04:18]
Yeah but would you?
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:18
Me? No.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:18
Then why fund animal exploitation
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:19
I suppose I hold a different viewpoint on the matter.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:20
Would you explain your personal viewpoint
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Victorpollack — Today at 04:23
The fact is that no matter what I personally do, I won't change global trends and practices of the trade. In the short lifespan that I have, I do not want to spend my life trying to turn rivers back upstream. I do not want to fight the windmills. Therefore I see no reason to change whatever my habits are within the world I live regardless of my ethical stance on the matter.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:24
So an appeal to futility
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:24
I have different priorities is all.
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👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:25
Your logic is inherently flawed tho
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:25
How come?
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👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:26
Because your stance is fallacious
[04:26]
​
[04:27]
Just because you can't end animal exploitation doesn't mean you shouldn't minimize the harm you do
[04:27]
Can't end rape either, doesn't make it okay
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:29
Even if that may be, like I have mentioned. My priorities are different and I do not have the privilege to allow myself such an endeavour without compromising them.
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👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:30
You're human, you have the privilege not to be exploited and murdered, unlike your victims
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:30
However I admire your spirit of having a clear vision of what your stances and beliefs are and giving it your 100%.
​
@👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻
You're human, you have the privilege not to be exploited and murdered, unlike your victims
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:31
I beg to differ, I have been exploited many of times.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:32
Have you been anally fisted, forced to bear children, and then had those children stolen and murdered
[04:32]
Cause that's dairy
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:32
No, but I have been brutally beaten, stolen from, used for unpaid labour.
[04:33]
Therefore I can't say I see the world quite as pretty as it may seem.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:33
So why fund the oppression of others when you yourself have been oppressed
[04:34]
Your view seems extremely selfish to me
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:35
Because I have more pressing matters to attend to in my own personal life. Perhaps it is selfish of me to want to ensure my own well-being and of my fellow humans before attending to needs of poor animals that have bad conditions, however that is my set of priorites.
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👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:36
When you go vegan you don't give anything up, you just stop taking what was never yours to begin with
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Victorpollack — Today at 04:37
However it does require resources such as time, effort and attention... Things I do not have to spare unfortunately.
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👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:37
You're honestly telling me you can't spare the time it takes to read a list of ingredients?
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:38
I can't spare time to even cook most of the time.
​
👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:38
Me either
[04:38]
I get microwave shit
​
Victorpollack — Today at 04:39
Good stuff. Well.. That has been an exhilarating conversation. How about a new topic?
[04:39]
You mentioned you like science fiction as well. What is your favorite movie?
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👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:40
I'm not really interested in pursuing this friendship, I can't consolidate the whole you activity supporting things I'm morally opposed to. The same reason I don't make friends with racists, sexists, etc etc
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Victorpollack — Today at 04:42
I have not in any way suggested that I support animal cruelty of any sort.
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👻 🔪 Tuff Ghost 🔪 👻 — Today at 04:42
You support it with your actions
[04:42]
Words are easy
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Victorpollack — Today at 04:44
However, if my inability to completely rework my entire life around your moral stance is enough for you to not want to be acquainted with me, than I must say I think there is nothing else I can do no matter how much I wish I could be your friend.
[04:44]
Well it's been a pleasure and I wish you a pleasant night.

There are instincts that you develop when you’re a parent. If you don’t have any children it might be a little hard to understand. If you have a toddler, for example, and they’re in the other room and silent for more than a few seconds, there’s a good chance they’re up to no good. I take that back, most of the time they’re doing nothing, but you still have to check. You feel a compulsion to check. I don’t think it’s a learned skill, I think it’s an actual instinct.
Paleolithic parents who didn’t check on their toddlers every few minutes, just to double check that they weren’t being stalked by smilodons were unlikely to have grandchildren and pass on their genes. You just feel you need to check, like getting goosebumps, a compulsion. I suppose it’s the same reason little kids are always demanding you look at them and what they’re doing.
I think that instinct starts to atrophy as your kids grow. They start learning to do things for themselves, and before you know it, they’re after their own privacy, not your attention. I don’t think it ever goes away though. I expect, decades from now, my own grown kids will visit and bring my grandkids with them. And the second I hear a baby crying in the earliest morning hours, I’ll be alert and ready for anything, sure as any old soldier who hears his name whispered in the dark of night.
I felt that alarm just the other day. First time in years. My boy came home from riding bikes with a couple of his friends. I’m pretty sure they worked out a scam where they asked each of their parents for a different new console for Christmas, and now they spend their weekends traveling between the three houses so they can play on all of them.
We all live in a nice neighborhood. A newer development than the one I grew up in, same town though. It’s the kind of place where kids are always playing in the streets, and the cars all routinely do under 20. My wife and I make sure the kids have helmets and pads, and we’re fine with the boy going out biking with his friends, as long as they stay in the neighborhood.
You know, a lot of people in my generation take some weird sort of pride in how irresponsible we used to be when we were young. I never wore a helmet. Rode to places, without telling any adults, that we never should have ridden to. Me and my friends would make impromptu jumps off of makeshift ramps and try to do stupid tricks, based loosely on stunts we’d seen on TV. Other people my age seem to wax nostalgic for that stuff and pretend it makes them somehow better people. I don’t get it. Sometimes I look back and shudder. We were lucky we escaped with only occasional bruises and road burns. It could have gone so much worse.
My son and his buddies came bustling in the front door at about 2 PM on a Saturday. They did the usual thing of raiding the kitchen for juice and his mother’s brownies, and I took that as my cue to abandon the television in the living room for my office. I was hardly noticing the chaos, by this point, it was becoming a regular weekend occurrence. But as I was just leaving, I caught something in the chatter. My boy said something about, “... that guy who was following us.”
He hadn’t said it any louder or more clearly than anything else they’d been talking about, all that stuff I’d been filtering out. Yet some deeper core process in my brain stem heard it, interpreted it, then hit the red alert button. My blood ran cold and every hair on my skin stood at attention.
I turned around and asked “Somebody followed you? What are you talking about?” I wasn’t consciously aware of how strict and stern my voice came out, yet when the jovial smiles dropped off of their faces it was apparent that it had been so.
“Huh?” my son said, his voice high-pitched and talking fast, like when he thinks he’s in trouble and needs to explain. “We thought we saw somebody following us. There wasn’t though. We didn’t really see anybody and we’d just spooked ourselves.”
“What did he look like?” I asked.
“Nothing? We really didn’t see anybody! Honest! I just saw something out of the corner of my eye! But there wasn’t really nobody there!”
“Yeah!,” said one of his buds. “Peripheral! Peripheral vision! I thought maybe I saw something too, but when I looked I didn’t see anything. I don’t have my glasses with me, but when I really looked I got a good look and there was nothing.”
The three boys had that semi-smiling but still concerned look that this was only a bizarre misunderstanding, but they were still being very sincere. “Were they in a car?”
“No, Dad, you don’t get it,” my boy continued, “They were small. We thought it was a kid.”
“Yeah,” said the third boy. “We thought maybe it was Tony Taylor’s stupid kid sister shadowing us. Getting close to throwing water balloons. Just cause she did that before.”
“If you didn’t get a good look how did you know it was a kid?”
“Because it was small!” my kid explained, though that wasn’t helping much. “What I mean is, at first I thought it was behind a little bush. It was way too small a bush to hide a grown-up. That’s why we thought it was probably Tony’s sister.”
“But you didn’t actually see Tony’s sister?” I asked.
“Nah,” said one of his buds. “And now that I think about it, that bush was probably too small for his sister too. It would have been silly. Like when a cartoon character hides behind a tiny object.”
“That’s why we think it was just in our heads,” explained the other boy, “That and the pole.”
“Yeah,” my son said. “The park on 14th and Taylor?” That was just a little community park, a single city block. Had a playground, lawn, a few trees, and some benches. “Anyway, we were riding past that, took a right on Taylor. And we were talking about how weird it would be if somebody really were following us. That’s when Brian thought he saw something. Behind a telephone pole.”
“I didn’t get a good look at it either,” the friend, Brian, “explained. Just thought I did. Know how you get up late at night to use the bathroom or whatever and you look down the hallway and you see a jacket or an office chair or something and because your eyes haven’t adjusted you think you see a ghost or burglar or something? Anyway, I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned there wasn’t anything there.”
“Yeah, it was just like sometimes that happens, except this time it happened twice on the same bike ride, is all,” the other friend explained.
“And you’re sure there was nothing there?”
“Sure we’re sure,” my boy said. “We know because that time we checked. We each rode our bikes around the pole and there was nothing. Honest!”
“Hmmm,” I said. The whole thing seemed reasonable and nothing to be concerned about, you’d think.. The boys seemed to relax at my supposed acceptance. “Alright, sounds good. Hey, just let me know before you leave the house again, alright?” They all rushed to seem agreeable as I left the room, then quickly resumed their snacking and preceded to play their games.
I kept my ear out, just in case. My boy, at least this time, dutifully told me his friends were about to leave. He wasn’t very happy with me when I said they wouldn’t be riding home on their bikes, I was going to drive them home. The other boys didn’t complain, but I suppose it wasn’t their place, so my boy did the advocating for them, which I promptly ignored. I hate doing that, ignoring my kid’s talkback. My dad was the same way. It didn’t help that I struggled to get both of their bikes in the trunk, and it was a pain to get them back out again. My boy sulked in the front seat on the short ride back home. Arms folded on chest, eyes staring straight ahead, that lip thing they do. He seemed embarrassed for having what he thought was an over-protective parent. I suppose he was angry at me as well for acting, as far as he knew, irrationally. Maybe he thought he was being punished for some infraction he didn’t understand.
Well, it only got worse when we got home. I told him he wasn’t allowed to go out alone on his bike anymore. I’d only had to do that once before, when he was grounded, and back then he’d known exactly what he’d done wrong and he had it coming. Now? Well, he was confused, furious, maybe betrayed, probably a little brokenhearted? I can’t blame him. He tramped upstairs to his room to await the return of his mother, who was certain to give a sympathetic ear. I can’t imagine how upset he’ll be if he checks the garage tomorrow and finds I’ve removed his tires, just in case.
I wish I could explain it to him. I don’t even know how.
Where should I even begin? The town?
When I was about my son’s age I had just seen that movie, The Goonies. It had just come out in theaters. I really liked that movie, felt a strong connection. A lot of people do, can’t blame them, sort of a timeless classic. Except I wasn’t really into pirate’s treasure or the Fratellis, what really made me connect was a simple single shot, still in the first act. It’s right after they cross the threshold, and leave the house on their adventure. It was a shot of the boys, from above, maybe a crane shot or a helicopter shot, as they’re riding their bikes down a narrow forested lane, great big evergreen trees densely growing on the side of the road, they’re all wearing raincoats and the road is still wet from recent rain.
That was my childhood. I’ve spent my whole life in the Pacific Northwest. People talk to outsiders about the rain, and they might picture a lot of rainfall, but it’s not the volume, it’s the duration. We don’t get so much rain, it just drizzles slowly, on and on, for maybe eight or nine months out of the year. It doesn’t matter where I am, inside a house, traveling far abroad, anywhere I am I can close my eyes and still smell the air on a chilly afternoon, playing outdoors with my friends.
It’s not petrichor, that sudden intense smell you get when it first starts to rain after a long dry spell. No, this was almost the opposite, a clean smell, almost the opposite of a scent, since the rain seemed to scrub the air clean. The strongest scent and I mean that in the loosest sense possible, must have been the evergreen needles. Not pine needles, those were too strong, and there weren’t that many pines anyway. Douglas fir and red cedar predominated, again the root ‘domination’ seems hyperbole. Yet those scents were there, ephemeral as it is. Also, there was a sort of pleasant dirtiness to the smell, at least when you rode bikes. It wasn’t dirt, or mud, or dust. Dust couldn’t have existed except perhaps for a few fleeting weeks in August. I think, looking back, it was the mud puddles. All the potholes in all the asphalt suburban roads would fill up after rain with water the color of chocolate milk. We’d swerve our BMX bikes, or the knock-off brands, all the way across the street just to splash through those puddles and test our “suspensions.,” meaning our ankles and knees. The smell was always stronger after that. It had an earthiness to it. Perhaps it was petrichor’s lesser-known watery cousin.
There were other sensations too, permanently seared into my brain like grill marks. A constant chilliness that was easy to ignore, until you started working up a good heart rate on your bike, then you noticed your lungs were so cold it felt like burning. The sound of your tires on the wet pavement, particularly when careening downhill at high speed. For some reason, people in the mid-80s used to like to decorate their front porches with cheap, polyester windsocks. They were often vividly colored, usually rainbow, like prototype pride flags. When an occasional wind stirred up enough to gust, the windsocks would flap, and owning to the water-soaked polyester, make a wet slapping sound. It was loud, it was distinct, but you learned to ignore it as part of the background, along with the cawing of crows and distant passing cars.
That was my perception of Farmingham as a kid. The town itself? Just a typical Pacific Northwest town. That might not mean much for younger people or modern visitors, but there was a time when such towns were all the same. They were logging towns. It was the greatest resource of the area from the late 19th century, right up until about the 80s, when the whole thing collapsed. Portland, Seattle, they had a few things going on beyond just the timber industry, but all the hundreds of little towns and small cities revolved around logging, and my town was no exception.
I remember going to the museum. It had free admission, and it was a popular field trip destination for the local school system. It used to be the City Hall, a weird Queen Anne-style construction. Imagine a big Victorian house, but blown up to absurd proportions, and with all sorts of superfluous decorations. Made out of local timber, of course. They had a hall for art, I can’t even remember why, now. Maybe they were local artists. I only remember paintings of sailboats and topless women, which was a rare sight for a kid at the time. There was a hall filled with 19th-century household artifacts. Chamber pots and weird children's toys.
Then there was the logging section, which was the bulk of the museum. It’s strange how different things seemed to be in the early days of the logging industry, despite being only about a hundred years old, from my perspective in the 1980s. If you look back a hundred years from today, in the 1920s, you had automobiles, airplanes, electrical appliances, jazz music, radio programs, flappers, it doesn’t feel that far removed, does it? No TV, no internet, but it wouldn’t be that strange. 1880s? Different world.
Imagine red cedars, so big you could have a full logging crew, arms stretched out, just barely manage to encircle one for a photographer. Felling a single tree was the work of days. Men could rest and eat their lunches in the shelter of a cut made into a trunk, and not worry for safety or room. They had to cut their own little platforms into the trees many feet off the ground, just so the trunk was a little bit thinner, and thus hours of labor saved. They used those long, flexible two-man saws. And double-bit axes. They worked in the gloom of the shade with old gas lanterns. Once cut down from massive logs thirty feet in diameter, they’d float the logs downhill in sluices, like primitive wooden make-shift water slides. Or they’d haul them down to the nearest river, the logs pulled by donkeys on corduroy roads. They’d lay large amounts of grease on the roads, so the logs would slide easily. You could still smell the grease on the old tools on display in the museum. The bigger towns had streets where the loggers would slide the logs down greased skids all the way down to the sea, where they’d float in big logjams until the mills were ready for processing. They’d call such roads “skid-rows.” Because of all the activity, they’d end up being the worst parts of town. Local citizens wouldn’t want to live there, due to all the stink and noise. They’d be on the other side of the brothels and the opium dens. It would be the sort of place where the destitute and the insane would find themselves when they’d finally lost anything. To this day, “skidrow” remains a euphemism for the part of a city where the homeless encamp.
That was the lore I’d learned as a child. That was my “ancestry” I was supposed to respect and admire, which I did, wholeheartedly. There were things they left out, though. Things that you might have suspected, from a naive perspective, would be perfect for kids, all the folklore that came with the logging industry. The ghost stories, and the tall tales. I would have eaten that up. They do talk about that kind of thing in places far removed from the Pacific Northwest. But I had never heard about any of it. Things like the Hidebehind. No, that I’d have to discover for myself.
There were four of us on those bike adventures. Myself. Ralph, my best friend. A tough guy, the bad boy, the most worldly of us, which is a strange thing to say about an eight-year-old kid. India, an archetypal ‘80s tomboy. She was the coolest person I knew at the time. Looking back, I wonder what her home life was like. I think I remember problematic warning signs that I couldn’t have recognized when I was so young, but now raise flags. Then there was Ben. A goofy kid, a wild mop of hair, coke bottle glasses, type 1 diabetic which seemed to make him both a bit pampered by his mother, who was in charge of all his insulin, diet, and schedule, and conversely a real risk taker when she wasn’t around.
When we first saw it…
No, wait. This was the problem with starting the story. Where does it all begin? I’ll need to talk about my Grandfather as well. I’ve had two different perspectives on my Grandfather, on the man that he was. The first was the healthy able-bodied grandparent I’d known as a young child. Then there was the man, as I learned about him after he had passed.
There was a middle period, from when I was 6 to when I was 16, when I hardly understood him at all, as he was hit with a double whammy of both Parkinson’s and Alzheimer's. His decline into an invalid was both steep and long drawn out. That part didn’t reflect who he was as a person.
What did I know of him when I was little? Well I knew he and my grandmother had a nice big house and some farmland, out in the broad flat valley north of Farmingham. Dairy country. It had been settled by Dutch immigrants back in the homesteading days. His family had been among the first pioneers in the county too. It didn’t register to me then that his surname was Norwegian, not Dutch. I knew he had served in the Navy in World War II, which I was immensely proud of for reasons I didn’t know why. I knew he had a job as a butcher in a nearby rural supermarket. He was a bit of a farmer too, more as a hobby and a side gig. He had a few cattle, but mostly grew and harvested hay to sell to the local dairies. I knew he had turned his garage into a machine shop, and could fix damn near anything. From the flat tires on my bicycle to the old flat-bed truck he’d haul hay with, to an old 1950s riding lawnmower he somehow managed to keep in working order. I knew he could draw a really cool cartoon cowboy, I knew he loved to watch football, and I knew the whiskers on his chin were very pokey, and they’d tickle you when he kissed you on the cheek, and that when you tried to rub the sensation away he’d laugh and laugh and laugh.
Then there were the parts of his life that I’d learn much later. Mostly from odd passing comments from relatives, or things I’d find in the public records. Like how he’d been a better grandfather than a father. Or how his life as I knew it had been a second, better life. He’d been born among the Norwegian settler community, way up in the deep, dark, forest-shrouded hills that rimmed the valley. He’d been a logger in his youth. Technologically he was only a generation or two from the ones I’d learned about in the museum. They’d replaced donkeys with diesel engines and corduroy roads with narrow gauge rail. It was still the same job, though. Dirty, dangerous, dark. Way back into those woods, living in little logging camps, civilization was always a several-day hike out. It became a vulgar sort of profession, filled with violent men, reprobates, and thieves. When my grandfather’s father was murdered on his front porch by a lunatic claiming he’d been wronged somehow, my grandfather hiked out of there, got into town, and joined the Navy. He vowed never to go back. The things he’d seen out in those woods were no good. He’d kept that existence away from me. Anyways…
Tommy Barker was the first of us to go missing. I say ‘us’ as if I knew him personally. I didn’t. He went to Farmingham Middle School, other side of town, and several grades above us. From our perspective, he may as well have been an adult living overseas.
Yet it felt like we got to know him. His face was everywhere, on TV, all over telephone poles. Everybody was talking about him. After he didn’t return from a friend’s house, everybody just sort of assumed, or maybe hoped, that he’d just gotten lost, or was trapped somewhere. They searched all the parks. Backyards, junkyards, refrigerators, trunks. Old-fashioned refrigerators, back before suction seals, had a simple handle with a latch that opened when you pulled on it. It wasn’t a problem when the fridges were in use and filled with food. But by the 80s old broke-down refrigerators started filling up backyards and junkyards, and they became deathtraps for kids playing hide-and-seek. The only opened from the outside. I remember thinking Tommy Barker was a little old to have likely been playing hide-and-seek, but people checked everywhere anyway. They never found him.
That was about the first time we saw the Hidebehind. Ben said he thought he saw somebody following us, looked like, maybe, a kid. We’d just slowly huffed our way up a moderately steep hill, Farmingham is full of them, and when we paused for a breather at the top, Ben said he saw it down the hill, closer to the base. Yet when we turned to look there was nothing there. Ben said he’d just seen it duck behind a car. That wasn’t the sort of behavior of a random kid minding his own business. Yet the slope afforded us a view under the car’s carriage, and except for the four tires, there were no signs of any feet hiding behind the body. At first, we thought he was pulling our leg. When he insisted he wasn’t, we started to tease him a little. He must have been seeing things, on account of his poor vision and thick glasses. The fact that those glasses afforded him vision as good as or better than any of us wasn’t something we considered.
The next person to disappear was Amy Brooks. Fifth-grader. Next elementary school over. I remember it feeling like when you’re traveling down the freeway, and there’s a big thunderstorm way down the road, but it keeps getting closer, and closer. I don’t remember what she looked like. Her face wasn’t plastered everywhere like Tommy’s had been. She was mentioned on the regional news, out of Seattle, her and Tommy together. Two missing kids from the same town in a short amount of time. The implication was as obvious as it was depraved. They didn’t think the kids were getting lost anymore. They didn’t do very much searching of backyards. The narratives changed too. Teachers started talking a lot about stranger danger. Local TV channels started recycling old After School Specials and public service announcements about the subject.
I’m not sure who saw it next. I think it was Ben again. We took him seriously this time though. I think. The one I’m sure I remember was soon after, and that time it was India who first saw it. It’s still crystal clear in my memory, almost forty years later, because that was the time I first saw it too. We were riding through a four-way stop, an Idaho Stop before they called it that, when India slammed to a stop, locking up her coaster brakes and leaving a long black streak of rubber on a dry patch of pavement. We stopped quickly after and asked what the problem was. We could tell by her face she’d seen it. She was still looking at it.
“I see it,” she whispered, unnecessarily. We all followed her gaze. We were looking, I don’t know, ten seconds? Twenty? We believed everything she said, we just couldn’t see it.
“Where?” Ralph asked.
“Four blocks down,” she whispered. “On the left. See the red car? Kinda rusty?” There was indeed a big old Lincoln Continental, looking pretty ratty and worn. I focused on that, still seeing nothing. “Past that, just to its right. See the street light pole? It’s just behind that.”
We also saw the pole she was talking about. Metal. Aluminum, I’d have guessed. It had different color patches, like metallic flakeboard. Like it’d had been melted together out of scrap.
I could see that clearly even from that distance. I saw nothing behind it. I could see plenty of other things in the background, cars, houses, bushes, front lawns, beauty bark landscape.. There was no indication of anything behind that pole.
And then it moved. It had been right there where she said it had been, yet it had somehow perfectly blended into the landscape, a trick of perspective. We didn’t see it at all until it moved, and almost as fast it had disappeared behind that light pole. We only got a hint. Brown in color, about our height in size.
We screamed. Short little startled screams, the involuntary sort that just burst out of you. Then we turned and started to pedal like mad, thoroughly spooked. We made it to the intersection of the next block when it was Ralph who screeched to a halt and shouted, “Wait!”
We slowed down and stopped, perhaps not as eagerly as we’d done when India yelled. Ralph was looking back over his shoulder, looking at that metal pole. “Did anybody see it move again?’ he asked. We all shook our heads in the negative. Ralph didn’t notice, but of course, he didn’t really need an answer, of course we hadn’t been watching.
“If it didn’t move, then it’s still there!” Ralph explained the obvious. It took a second to sink in, despite the obvious. “C’mon!” he shouted, and to our surprise, before we could react, he turned and took off, straight down the road, straight to where that thing had been lurking.
We were incredulous, but something about his order made us all follow hot on his heels. He was a sort of natural leader. I thought it was total foolishness, but I wasn’t going to let him go alone. I think I got out, “Are you crazy?!”
The wind was blowing hard past our faces as we raced as fast as we could, it made it hard to hear. Ralph shouted his response. “If it’s hiding that means its afraid!” That seemed reasonable, if not totally accurate. Lions hide from their prey before they attack. Then again, they don’t wait around when the whole herd charges. Really, the pole was coming up so fast there wasn’t a whole lot of time to argue. “Just blast past and look!” Ralph added. “We’re too fast! It won’t catch us.”
Sure, I thought to myself. Except maybe Ben, who always lagged behind the rest of us in a race. The lion would get Ben if any of us.
We rushed past that pole and all turned our heads to look. “See!” Ralph shouted in triumph. There was simply nothing there. A metal streetlight pole and nothing more. We stopped pedaling yet still sped on. “Hang on,” Ralph said, and at the next intersection he took a fast looping curve that threatened to crash us all, but we managed and curved behind him. We all came to the pole again where we stopped to see up close that there was nothing there, despite what we had seen moments before.
“Maybe it bilocated,” Ben offered. We groaned. We were all thinking it, but I think we were dismissive because it wasn’t as cool a word as ‘teleport.”
“Maybe it just moved when we weren’t looking,” I offered. That hadn’t been long, but that didn’t mean anything if it moved fast. The four of us slowly looked up from the base of the pole to our immediate surroundings. There were bushes. A car in a carport covered by a tarpaulin. The carport itself. Garbage cans. Stumps. Of course the ever-present trees. Whatever it was it could have been hiding behind anything. Maybe it was. We looked. Maybe it would make itself seen. None of us wanted that. “OK, let’s get going,” Ralph said, and we did so.
I got home feeling pretty shaken that afternoon. I felt safe at home. Except for the front room, which had a big bay window looking out onto the street, and the people who lived across it. There were plenty of garbage cans and telephone poles and stumps that a small, fast thing might hide behind. No, I felt more comfortable in my bedroom. There was a window, but a great thick conical cypress tree grew right in front of it, reaching way up over the roof of the house. If anything, it offered ME a place to hide, and peer out onto the street to either side of the tree. It was protective, as good as any heavy blanket.

Let me start off by clarifying that this individual is still alive, but they explicitly told me they were ending their friendship with me based on us not having anything in common, me not being ambitious enough, and because I smoke weed. I did not have any say in the matter, nor did I have a chance to defend myself.
A couple weeks ago I was lamenting about the lack of good WFH opportunities for my field, and mentioned how I'd be willing to work in office for a certain type of company IF the benefits were good enough. She went off into a speech about how you just can't be successful working from home, humans being were made to be social, how no one she looks up to works from home. Her timing made me feel like she was throwing shade, and when I expressed that to her she went OFF about how it wasn't about me just a "general statement" but that I could use the socialization because I tend to think things are about me. I genuinely don't know how you're supposed to respond when someone says that to you, so I didn't.
Fast forward a week of silence, I decided to reach out and get my feelings off my chest. I expressed how hurt I was that she'd say those things to me so out of the blue, but she said she felt that "as my friend" she should be able to give me unsolicited criticism, and that if we can't be that way then that's not a friendship she wants. I buckled down on expressing how her words were making me feel and that she didn't need to be so aggressive with her message, but it resulted in: her stating that it isn't healthy how I'm constantly sleeping and smoking weed during work, that she isn't comfortable with "how much I feel the need to be high or drunk" bc she "doesn't imbibe, that she needs to be around more ambitious and driven people, and that she doesn't want to be rude and end the friendship but she just thinks we have nothing in common.
I'm not sure where she got the impression I regularly sleep during work, or spend all my time during work smoking weed and not working, but it's not true, and she never tried to clarify with me or even nicely say that it bothers her. I've never fallen behind in my work, been on probation for performance, or anything of that sort - I may not be next in line for a promotion, but I'm still a recognized top performer on my project team. She never told me that she's no longer drinking/smoking for good (she would previously skip drinking to save money or to lose weight but it was an occasional thing), and she never told me she's uncomfortable around the weed; I had literally NO IDEA she didn't want to be around those things anymore so I never had a change to correct it. In the literal days up to this all starting, I was sending her IG videos related to our various interests like plants and travel, so I have no idea why she thought we have nothing in common. I have no idea what makes me not ambitious in her eyes, but I am planning a wedding, and have no interest in going through the new-hire process at a new job right now when my current job pays me enough and has a great work life balance for me. Ambition doesn't always have to be about work goals in my opinion, you can be driven towards other goals in your life. You can have qualms with your job and still choose to stay because the pros outweigh the cons. I may not socialize with my coworkers, but I take dance classes 3-4 times a week and have several friends I constantly talk to so I think it's unfair to say I don't socialize. She ended the conversation saying that I was acting like a victim and the conversation was no longer constructive and she's leaving the convo, so I left it at that.
I feel confused, because so many of her reasons for ending the friendship were things she had never expressed before or just not true. It felt so much like she was just making excuses to end the friendship for whatever reason, and I can't fathom why she had to go off on me like that instead of simply letting the friendship end. She said she didn't want to ask me to stop smoking weed because she "knows it's a big part of my life" as if I'm physically incapable of seeing her sober. I feel like I've given so much of my time, effort, and care to someone who didn't appreciate it, and probably doesn't see why this hurts me so much. I feel like I spent so much of this post justifying and defending myself, and frankly it's because I feel like I never got the opportunity to do so with this former friend. She chose to see things how she wanted with the limited information she had. How can someone end a friendship and not understand how the other person feels like a victim? How can she not see why all of this would be hurtful to me?
I feel that I'm still the same person I was when we first became friends, but if anything more improved. I smoke the same amount of weed when we first started talking, I have a better job now than I did back then, I have a wider variety of hobbies and interests than I did back then. At the start of the friendship I did run a small online store selling my art, but the effort and time isn't worth the money and I decided I didn't want to deal with customer service lol; last year I considered going to grad school to help my job prospects, but I did research and determined grad school isn't necessary for my field as much as relevant certs (that my current company pays for!) Maybe those were the things that made me ambitious? It feels offensive she'd label me as not ambitious or driven enough to be in her friend group, even though I've always thought myself to be an ambitious person. She loves to talk about work, school, or her career in general, so maybe the fact I didn't enjoy that make me not ambitious? The whole situation just raised a ton of questions and insecurities in myself, and I ultimately lost a person I talked to daily and considered my close friend: it fucking sucks.
If you've read this far, thank you so much for listening. It means a lot. <3

I’m a barista in Texas that has been to a few different reserve stores, however i don’t ever pay attention to the employees at reserve stores. Do reserve employees get a special apron, or is it like one apron that is washed and used by whomever is on the Reserve Bar itself? Note I know that the roastery employees have special aprons so for that matter I am talking about reserve only stores. Now if anyone knows, are there differences in the special reserve aprons compared to the roastery ones? any help works!

Does anybody have any experience with using Diajisho on the surface duo? I have Citra and Drastic set up and launching from Daijisho but launching it that way locks the emulators onto one of the two screens despite having saved the layouts for each screen.
I can manually, using the surface Duo's drag and resize feature, span both screens again but it needs to be redone each time a game is launched losing any benefit of using a launcher to get right into a game.
any help would be appreciated.

I have a number of questions!! The situation is I'm an architect and I got convinced to help on this project from a childhood friend. We didn't do a contract but we had a verbal agreement that I would get a certain share of the project in exchange for my work(classic case, im sorry and will never happen again). This project is a little more complicated than just drawings for a building. This project required a conditional use permit (major). We changed the zooning from residential to commercial. This was the work I did which involved designing the building to a certain extent and then assisting with the application as it contained many zooning and building related questions that involve the knowledge of an architect. we got approval and it was at that point that we started to put together our business plan and try to attract investors with a private placement memorandum. This document was supposed to reflect my interest in the project as being 1/3. my partner was the one paying the lawyer. me and my partner at the time sent the lawyer who was creating the ppm this intention in one of our first emails. I then met with that lawyer and my partner on two separate occasions in person to go over some of the details for our business structure. At some point my partner and the lawyer decided that that was to much equity for me to have or something like that and decided to offer me a much lower percentage of the project. is that unethical for the lawyer to choose sides? and also we are almost at the point of engaging in a full on dispute. The PPM has not gone out yet as far as I know. I have engaged with a lawyer who has reached out to his lawyer for first a negotiation between me and the partner. which did not work. now we are trying to see if they would want to hire a mediator to resolve the issue. would this all be something they would need to disclose in the ppm? or would it only be something they need to disclose if we actually file a lawsuit. any and all advice would be so much appreciated. thank you!!!

My boyfriend 37 M and I, 29 F have been together for about 4 months. At first I thought he could be the one, but things took a turn. We had to limit our drinking because we always got in arguments about women and men and what’s right from wrong. He brought up how my body count was so high, but then brag about how his is in the triple digits and how it’s okay for men to have high counts. He’s even told me it’s shameful for how many people I’ve slept with (which in hind sight I should have never told him). He’s talked about how he doesn’t really want an independent woman, but rather someone who’s only dependent on him. He’s told me he doesn’t want me to wear makeup because it’s only to attract other guys attention or to compete with other girls. He’s said that he expects me to change my clothes if he thinks they’re too revealing. He’s told me to go back to the “dick carrousel” when we got in a big fight once. He says he’s joking a lot when I’ve told him that something he said hurt. Anyways, where I get stuck at is that I feel like I’m getting older and get scared I won’t find anyone else. He’s also super sweet, loving, and generous most of the time. I just get worried how things could turn out in the long term. I also don’t want to hurt him if I decide to break up. Also….I made the mistake of dating within my work place. I really don’t know how to go about this. Please give me some insight, I could really use it about now.

3/4 members of my family have strep throat. I was the lucky first one diagnosed and while I had a few moments alone at home, realized how much I wouldn't have minded a large drink to numb the soreness in my throat and to numb having to deal with parenting while ill. Even though I knew drinking would just impede my healing process, it seemed like the only way to get through the days.
I've been working my way through it with the help of a brand new soda stream and a bunch of new flavors for the water. I've also been reflecting on how seemingly innocuous things can show up out of nowhere to try to knock you off course just when you think you're on an even keel. Never in a hundred years would I have thought that being sick would get in my head about drinking.
Anyway, IWNDWYT, and hope that you all stay your courses, even in the face of unexpected challenges!

I know they have done some, but any idea if they are going to have any for the upcoming shows? Want to know if I need to get there earlier, to grab one. Or “event shirts” that might sell out..

hey guys, i’m new here and i’m posting because i’m at my wits end. so i’ve been taking care of frogs for several years, but all of my frogs are White’s tree frogs, and so their care is personalized to their species. i’ve recently taken in a common grass frog, and since then, he has not eaten at all and i’m getting very worried. he has plenty of food options offered, a large clean tank, lots of water, and plenty of foliage. his tank isn’t the issue i assume, but whenever he is offered food he will not eat, and will hop away instantly. he stays at the very top of the tank 24/7 curled into himself on the wall and i’m just not sure what to do. he has had about 4 weeks to adjust to his new surroundings so i feel that the stress of being moved around is not the issue either. i got a different White’s tree frog at the same time and that one has since adjusted well and is doing fine. i’m just at a loss here, and i would love any feedback on what the issue might be or how i can get him to eat.

i’ve been looking for a music setup to put in my room and i was leaning towards a pair of jbl stage a130s and a yamaha r-s500 receiver which would cost me in total around 430$ cad. as i was browsing marketplace i realized i could get a set of sonos one sls for around 350 and i was wondering how they would stack up as i won’t have an opportunity to test how either of them sound before buying.

Hey you!
Hope everyone’s doing awesome. I’m a 28 year old guy from the great state of Minnesota here in the US, and I’m looking to make some hopefully long-term chatting buddies. I do prefer someone ideally within the Midwest or MN/WI more specifically. But also open to anyone US based really. Just for time zone purposes and also the option of eventually meeting up if that’s in the cards! Anyways!
Here’s a little about me so you kinda sorta get an idea for who I am:

• Super laid back. Non-judgmental. You know how they say the ones who have kind of been through it are the most understanding? I think that kind of applies here.
  
• Starting to feel like an old man. I feel everything creaks, cracks, and feels sore for no reason. I also now have to take constant allergy meds from that developing. So yay.
  
• Big fan of metal music. Deathcore and metalcore are my favorites, but honestly anything remotely rock is cool. I love dad rock as well. So think Nickelback, Creed, Shinedown, etc hahah.
  
• I have tattoos, love tattoos, and love drawing artwork for tattoos. I’m an aspiring tattoo artist! Mine are all a little on the darker side thematically but I love all styles. I would love to see your art!
  
• I usually spend my free time working on my bike, car, or on the house. With a little movie watching and gaming sprinkled in. But between work and life it seems like it’s rare!
  

Anyways I honestly could probably go on and on about myself haha. If you’re remotely interested feel free to let me know!

Make rent from virtual plots and cashout real money when your rent reaches 5$! And when you reach your 10th plot you get 200 free Atlas bucks! https://r.atlasearth.com/ECTPf8bogAb or use code G8G231

Long shot here, but my family went hiking on Rainbow Mountain Sunday and my daughter found a knife. I hate losing knives, especially nicer ones, so I am trying to get it back to the owner. If you lost one, if your description matches my found one I'll make sure you get it back.

As the title reads, my dad got angry at me for opening the door for strangers (they were just churchfolk who wanted to spread information about their church). I only opened the door because I thought it would be him and my mom on the other side of it, but it wasn't. I usually look out before opening the door hut this time I didn't. I think his reaction was a bit too aggressive (he hit me on my head a few times and slapped me although I do think this was by mistake). I do understand why he would be so angry though, given that me and the rest of my family were once held at gunpoint by guys who broke into our old house through the back door. He's now texting my phone asking me if "anyone touched me in an inappropriate way when I was little?". I guess he believes that my actions are caused by a hidden trauma? It's not the first time he's asked me this question either, and I'm kind of just confused overall as to why he'd think this way. I personally believe its because of my introverted nature. I'm a very introverted person and I don't open up to my parents very much about anything. I also am quiet at big events such as family gatherings which bothers my dad at times. My dad doesn't like my introverted personality and has claimed that people have asked him if somethings wrong with me. One time he even yelled at me for not having any friends at a new middle school which I was going to (my sister claimed that I didn't have any). I'm just super confused right now and just wanted to get this off of my chest. If you guys have any advice on how I can maybe change or any advice in general, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you to all who've read this.

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Hey there. I know there has to be others out there who would like a long term friendship just like I do :) I’m really looking for daily talk about any topic, I love to get to know people. I’m 33M and live in US, I love to talk about food, music, sport, tv shows, different cultures etc. I understand a friendship requires effort and I’m willing to put effort into one. So if this is also what you are looking for than feel free to message me :)