Recently I made the mistake of replying to some keyboard warriors on YouTube after they replied to a comment I made a few years ago.
For context I commented on a TikTok compilation featuring Japanese users. They have fun with filters, wear extravagant costumes and I watch them to find accounts to support, because I enjoy their content and sometimes it helps me learn about their culture too. The comment I made was one where I said "Being friends with people from other cultures is easy if you treat them with respect and study their language", using some personal experiences as an example.
I then got a reply from the warriors, who were saying pretty nasty things about the people in the videos, by saying they are fake, ugly people who hate foreigners, pasting copy and paste hate comments on the channel's videos.
I tried to explain to them that times have changed (once again, using my personal experiences as an example and at times, validating some of their arguments, but also telling them the optimistic side of things) and they kept accusing me of "defending and romanticising their culture", causing us to go back and forth for a while to the point where I got too angry and fired at them back, which I now regret and have since deleted the old comment I made.
Currently I'm trying to mute any of them that show up on my notifications, resisting engaging them anymore and reporting the accounts, but since the damage is done, I'm doubting myself about my opinions on being friends with people from different backgrounds.
Edit: I have since realised that what I did by engaging in the first place was the wrong thing to do and I have learnt my lesson. In the future I won't do anything like this again as I have heard that it can have even greater consequences.

Hey guys! Not sure a better subreddit for this (suggestions welcome! Any fantasy/costume subreddits out there?) but my buddy wants to match my vibe for eforest, and i like to go all out in terms of the whole wood elf look. :)
Trouble is, I know where to find female costumes/outfits and stuff, but i don’t know as much about where to find that stuff for guys. Nevermind having to find lightweight things for raving.
So other than hooking him up with my elf ear spot and giving him some tunic recommendations off of amazons I’m kinda stuck!! Please help. :) plurrr.

Thankyou in advance for any suggestions! It's an action movie, and I think the bad lady in question might have even been wearing a full-body animal costume.
What I remember distinctly is her death rattle, her wailing voice trails off as she is slowly dragged into the machine, you can't see what's happening due to all the white smoke/steam emanating, only her legs. The conveyor belt keeps dragging her out to the other side of the machine, where she emerges expressionless and dead with her eyes open.
The machine might be a freeze-drying machine, but I couldn't work out what kind of innocuous machine could kill a person like that.
This is probably a 90's movie, but I wouldn't put it past being very early 2000's either

Introduction

During the development of our card game Conflux we wanted to have an easy way to create various abilities for our cards with different effects and at the same time wanted to write smaller amount of code per ability. Also we wanted try and add a simple modding capability for abilities.

Format we introduced

Some of you may be familiar with MoonSharp LUA interpreter for C#, often use in Unity engine to add scripting support to your game. That's what we took as a base for writing the code for abilities. Each ability can subscribe to different events such as whenever a card takes damage, is placed on the field or ability is used manually on some specific targets. Besides having event handlers we needed a way to specify some metadata like mana cost of abilities, cooldown, icon, etc. and in the first iteration of the system we had a pair of JSON metadata file and LUA code file.
It was fine initially but we quickly realized that abilities typically have ~20 lines of JSON and ~20 lines of LUA code and that having two files per ability is wasteful so we developed a simple format which combines both the JSON and LUA.
Since LUA code could never really be a valid JSON (unless you are ok with slapping all the code into a single line or is ok with escaping all the quotes you have) we put the JSON part of the abilities into the LUA script. First LUA block comment section within the script is considered as a JSON header.
Here is an example of "Bash" ability in LUA (does damage and locks the target cards):

--[[ { "mana_cost": 0, "start_cooldown": 0, "cooldown": 3, "max_usage": -1, "icon": "IconGroup_StatsIcon_Fist", "tags": [ "damage", "debuff", "simple_damage_value" ], "max_targets": 1, "is_active": true, "values": { "damage": 5, "element": "physical" }, "ai_score": 7 } --]] local function TargetCheck() if Combat.isEnemyOf(this.card.id, this.event.target_card_id) then return Combat.getAbilityStat(this.ability.id, "max_targets") end end local function Use() for i = 1, #this.event.target_card_ids do Render.pushCardToCard(this.card.id, this.event.target_card_ids[i], 10.0) Render.createExplosionAtCard("Active/Bash", this.event.target_card_ids[i]) Render.pause(0.5) Combat.damage(this.event.target_card_ids[i], this.ability.values.damage, this.ability.values.element) Combat.lockCard(this.event.target_card_ids[i]) end end Utility.onMyTargetCheck(TargetCheck) Utility.onMyUse(Use) 

Inheritance for abilities

It may be a completely valid desire to have a way to reuse the code of some abilities and just make some small adjustments. We solved this desire by having a merge function for JSON header data which will look for a parent field within the header and will look for the data based on the ID provided in this parent field. All the data found is then merged with the data provide in the rest of the current JSON header. It also does it recursively, but I don't foresee actually using this functionality as typically we just have a generic ability written and then the inherited ability just replaces all it needs to replace.
Here is an example on how a simple damaging ability can be defined:

--[[ { "parent": "Generic/Active/Elemental_projectiles", "cooldown": 3, "icon": "IconGroup_StatsIcon01_03", "max_targets": 2, "values": { "damage": 2, "element": "fire", "render": "Active/Fireball" }, "ai_score": 15 } --]] 

So as you can see there is no code as 100% of it is inherited from the parent generic ability.
The way a code in the child ability is handled is that the game will execute the LUA ability files starting from the top parent and will traverse down to the child. Since all the logic of abilities is usually within the event handlers then no actual change happens during the execution of those LUA scripts (just info about subscriptions is added). If the new ability you write needs to actually modify the code of the parent then you can just unsubscribe from the events you know you want to modify and then rewrite the handler yourself.

MoonSharp in practice

MoonSharp as a LUA interpreter works perfectly fine IMO. No performance issues or bugs with the LUA code execution as far as I see.
The problems for us started when trying to use VS code debugging. As in it straight up does not work for us. To make it behave we had to do quite a few adjustments including:

• Create a new breakpoint storage mechanism because existing one does not trigger breakpoints
• Add customizable exception handler for when the exception occurs within the C# API. By default you just get a whole load of nothing and your script just dies. We added a logging and automatic breakpoint mechanism (which is supposed to be there but just does not work)
• Proper local/global variables browser. Existing one just displayed (table: 000012) instead of letting you browse variables like a normal human being.
• Passthrough of Unity logs to VS code during debugging. This one worked out of the box for the most part when errors were within the LUA code, but anything that happens in our C# API is only visible in Unity console (or Player.log) and when breakpoint is triggered good luck actually seeing that log with Unity screen frozen and logs not flushed yet (can flush the logs in this case I guess too?)

What is missing

While we are mostly satisfied with the results the current implementation there are a couple things worth pointing out as something that can be worked on:

• When you are done writing the ability you can't really know if the code you wrote is valid or if the data within the JSON header is valid. Linters within VS code I tried either complain about LUA code when highlighting JSON or ignore JSON when highlighting LUA code
• Good luck killing infinite loop within the LUA code (though same is true for C#). Execution limit needs to be implemented to avoid that problem, better to have invalid game state then having to kill the process.
• By placing the metadata of the abilities within the same code file you lock yourself out of the opportunity to have a unified place to store all your ability metadata (e.g. having a large data sheet with all the values visible to be able to sort through it and find inconsistencies). This can be addressed by having a converter from those LUA files to say CSV file or having a dedicated data browser within the game

Why not just write everything in LUA?

It is possible to convert the JSON header part into a LUA table. With this you get a benefit of syntax highlight and comments. The downside is that now to read the metadata for the ability you have to run a LUA VM and execute the script if you want to get any info from it. This implies that there will be no read-only access to ability information because the script will inevitably try to interact with some API that modifies the game state (at the very least adds event listener) or you will need to change the API to have a read-only mode.
Another point is that having a simple JSON part in the file let's you use a trivial script to extract it from the .lua file and it then can be used by some external tools (which typically don't support LUA)

TL;DR

Adding JSON as a header to LUA has following pros and cons compared to just writing C# code per ability:
Pros:

• Can hot-swap code with adjustments for faster iteration
• No compilation required, all the scripts can be initialized during the scene loading process
• Can evaluate the same code an ability would use within a console for testing
• Allows abilities to be modded into the game with lower possibility of malicious code (as long as exposed API is safe)

Cons:

• Requires compatibility layer between C# and LUA (you will still have to write API in C# to reduce the code bloat, but there is an extra layer that you need to write to pass this API to LUA)
• MoonSharp VS code debugging is buggier than using VisualStudio debugger for C#
• Doesn't really reduce the number of lines of code you need to manage. While you avoid boilerplate code, with smart management of this boilerplate code you can reduce it down to just a good base class implementation for your abilities with almost no overhead

Hi, I would like everyone's opinion on buying a Cat S Honda Civic Type R GT FK2 edition, there is one advertised which I think looks really nice and is within my budget. The garage has sent me pictures of the damage before it was repaired, it appears to have been in a collision resulting in the front end being bashed in significantly, but the garage has confirmed it is back to superb condition and runs great with no faults etc.
These models usually go for £20k+ so to find this one at £15k seems like a bargain even with the Cat S.
​
https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/202305227668900?advertising-location=at_cars&atmobcid=soc5&fromSavedAds=true&sort=price-asc

Discord Username: Lira#0001
Character Name and House: Elenei Baratheon
Age: 20
Appearance: Like her father and brothers, Elenei is black haired and blue (?) eyed, and her complexion is pale. She is a pretty and charismatic girl, easy to smile and quick to laugh (when appropriate, of course), though curiously, she is careful to keep her true thoughts to herself, except when in the company of family. Elenei is a lover of fashion and jewelry, and she is always perfectly poised. Appearances are important, particularly where the daughter of the Hand of the King is concerned.
Gift: Whisperer
Skills: Cautious(E), Deceiver(E), Subtle
Talent(s): Fishing x3, like pa. Dancing, Being Charming, Trendsetting (especially when it comes to fashion)
Starting Title(s): Scion of House Baratheon/Storm's End
Starting Location: Opening Feast
Family Tree: House Baratheon, courtesy of PrincelyZax
Alternate Characters: House Blackwood
---
Character Name and House: Serenei
Age: 20s (age is hard to pin)
Appearance: Serenei is a master of disguise, weaving effortlessly between one convenient disguise to the next. Sometimes she is a Septa, sometimes a barwench or a member of a nobleperson's coterie. She is tall for a woman and about average for a man, and she is slenderly built. Beneath the coifs and headpieces, her hair is chin length and blonde. Her eyes are a dull, dark gray--fitting, given the almost dormant expression they often hold.
Gift: Agility
Skills: Burglar(E), Assassin
Talents: Acting, Being Stealthy, Projecting Confidence
Starting Title(s): Serving girl at the Royal Feast
Starting Location: Opening Feast
---
Elenei Baratheon - Timeline
187 A.C. Elenei, the only daughter of Lord "Billy" Baratheon and Ravella Morrigen, is born in King's Landing not long after arrival. She is only a year younger than her eldest brother, Quentyn. Her father has been Hand of the King for a short while.
189 A.C. Her youngest brother, Ryon, is born.
195 A.C. She is the known favorite of her father, perhaps to the chagrin of her tough loved brothers. This does not create a rift between the siblings, however, for Elenei is affectionate toward her siblings, whether they want her to be or not. She plays the role of the only sister well, meddling and annoying to ensure her brothers are cared for. It is a dynamic that carries throughout their childhood.
199 A.C. Elenei's upbringing is consistent with what one might expect for the daughter of the Hand. She has the finest tutors and no expense is spared for the only daughter of Lord Baratheon. From a very young age, she is surrounded by friends, hopeful relations, and sycophants. She often shared social circles with the princess and and other like-aged dignitaries at court.
207 A.C. She has become adept at court life, and understands well the role she must play for her family. For now, she is content to observe from a careful distance.
---
Serenei - Timeline
Early 180s A.C. Serenei is born in Weeping Town to a woman she scarcely remembers, for she spent her formative years in a motherhouse. It was there she learned basic skills such as writing and reading, though much of her knowledge was gleaned through her own initiative.
190 A.C. She runs away, disliking the suffocating structure of her not-home. She performs various odd, paid tasks to survive--sometimes a beggar or servant, a hand, later on a barwench.
196 A.C. She falls in love with a conman and joins a traveling theater group, a motley crew of actors, liars, and thieves. Her romance fizzles out but she remains in the company, often participating in their schemes. Here she learns how to lie and act, how to create costumes and disguises, how to subdue and extract, how to think. It is also here that she kills her first man, and then her second. It is her least favorite act but it comes with the territory.
200 A.C. She breaks ties with the theater group following some close calls. She spends a few years traveling and doing odd work, eventually relocating to King's Landing where she finds work as a seamstress. She has seen much of the realm and has an eye for details; her work emulates many of the styles seen in Lannisport and Oldtown and the exotic peoples from beyond, and it isn't long before her work catches the eye of her would-be mistress. It isn't long before she is also selling information and similar services to the younger Lady Baratheon.
207 A.C. Her list of clients is unknown, likely varied, but she has developed a strong working rapport with her one benefactress in particular. It is this person she prioritizes when it comes to her business dealings.

For context, I have been trying to get better at individual skills like predicting where enemies are based on radar, use of cover, centering my crosshairs at head-height where enemies will be, Sticking with teammates, etc... I feel like lately I have not really been improving much, partly due to not being able to play as much PvP right now. The other part, I feel like I have been too un-focused on improving and have been too all over the place with new builds, new weapons, switching characters to often, using different rolls of similar guns. I was just trying out a bunch of things from my vault to see what I vibed with and if anything really clicked with me for some reason just on feel or if it had an interesting thing about it like a unique perk combo or wild stats. The problem is that I'm not really one to be super picky about what I use. As long as it has a decent PvP roll or seems like something cool to try I would try it out and see how it went. I don't think I was really getting to know the weapon because I would use it for maybe a day or two, and go back to Rose or some other meta weapon.
I've been browsing this subreddit for a while now and copying random tips and tricks into a spreadsheet I have with all kinds of PvP notes, and I came across this post. The top comment by u/jacobnee inspired me to take that advice and so I made a new build for my Titan with 2 variations for different ranges like he suggested. That I can switch to before matches to better suit the map/ enemy team. Right now I'm running:
Void Titan
Ward of Dawn - Towering Barricade - Strafe Lift - Shield Bash - Scatter Grenade
Aspects: Controlled Demolition + Bastion Echoes of Expulsion, Leeching, Obscurity and Dilation (all for armor Stats)
Exotic armor: Dunemarchers
Armor Stats: 50 mob, 100 Resil, 80 Recov, 70 Dis, 60 Int, 40 Str
Mods: Kinetic Targeting x2 / Unflinching x2/ Surge/ Dexterity/ Loader + Arc Holster + Better alreadyBomber + Utility Kickstart + Reaper
​
For weapons to cover the 3 ranges, I only have the Mid range one so far; Ace of Spades with Mechabre (or any sniper)
For the Short range one, I was thinking Immortal/ Ikelos SMG and a Matador
For the Long range one I was thinking NTTE and a Fusion Rifle
Does this sound Solid enough or is there anything I should change? For secondary weapons I am not dead-set on anything so If I should switch Mechabre to a different sniper I'll do it. I'm only using it now because I like it, but might switch to Mercurial Overreach if I land a good roll. I also have a pretty good 1000 Yard Stare and Frozen Orbit to pair with void subclass.
For the Immortal, I have not landed any super good rolls yet. The most i've been able to play Trials lately was for one whole Saturday a few weeks ago and I only was able to get maybe 10 of them and they all rolled poorly for PvP. I have a crafted Ikelos SMG that I like better right now, but I do want to land a Target Lock immortal.
And of course, if you have any build advice I will gladly take it. I'm rocking dunes right now just for the mobility. I know my Mobility stat isn't the greatest, but if I use d2armorpicker to put more stat points into mobility I can't get 100 of any other stats. I need to farm better armor with better spikes, but for now this is what I have.

Hello,
I hope this finds you all well. I am reaching out for some advice. Maybe this will just be a life lesson.
2 months ago a recruiter reached out to me for a job that, to me, would be life changing. A managerial position for a major international company that will be expanding into the US for the first time. I am extremely accomplished in my field but have never gotten that “big break.”
In writing the recruiter stated the pay was 180k. I also understand recruiters usually try to sell high.
After interviewing the recruiter, they immediately directed me towards a meeting with the director of HR for the company. The HR director stated that the base salary was actually 150k but they could “wiggle” with relocation, incentives based upon KPIs, insurance, all the extras etc.
I had about 7/8 interviews with multiple people over the past two months. I was asked to do research on the company etc. The final interview included the company transporting me to another state to do a presentation for them. I had to take time off of work for this and lost income.
This week. I received an email that I had been offered the position and would be contacted by one of the management I would be directly reporting to regarding an “incentive program.”
When I spoke with the manager they said the base salary was now 110k with “incentives” based upon performance. I had never been informed of this change during the entire time I was interviewing.
I spoke with my recruiter, who was shocked. They reached out to the HR manager and I was told, via email, that the manager I spoke with was simply supposed to explain the incentive program and not have any conversation regarding the base salary. That the base salary was incorrect. The recruiter then said that HR would reach out to me with an offer that was correct that evening.
I never got word from HR that evening. I am assuming that this was a blindside to them as well. They were probably discussing the new situation that evening.
The HR manager reached out the next morning and somewhat bashfully restated the offer for 110k. They said they were unaware of the development until the last minute.
There are probably some dynamics I am leaving out. One is that, during this process, the recruiter asked me to do a personal favor for them regarding getting their relatives access to an exclusive venue. One of their relatives was underage and I politely declined.
Aside from writing a strongly worded email to the entire management team regarding how unprofessional this situation was is there anything else I can do?

I would first like to clarify, that while I do main Lillia, I am not super in tune with her lore. I just know that I adore her and her Disney-esque whimsy. Secondly, I am an amateur writer who is horrible at writing dialogue, so I tend to write my short stories without it. This is my first attempt at writing a story that takes place in an IP that is not of my own creation. I would greatly appreciate any and all feedback, but also love to hear what you think about this story.
Whispers of the Dreamgrove - A Lillia Story
In the heart of Ionia, where emerald canopies of ancient trees intertwine, a sanctuary untouched by the chaos of the outside world reveals itself. Here, time dances to a different rhythm, and the air sings with a whispered enchantment. It is in this hidden grove that Lillia, the Bashful Bloom, discovers solace and kinship.
​
The grove, embraced by towering arboreal sentinels, stands as a haven for all that is pure and wild. Its serene beauty weaves a spell that tickles the senses, as gentle sunlight filters through the lush foliage, casting a delightful dance upon the forest floor. Fragrant blossoms scent the air, their delicate aroma mingling with the faintest whispers that ride a breeze meant for the chosen few.
​
Nestled within this secluded haven, Lillia resides, her ethereal presence a mere ripple in the tapestry of the grove. Cloaked in a soft aura of mystery, she moves with a grace that mirrors the swaying branches above. Her hooves, delicate and soundless, tiptoe upon the mossy carpet, leaving no trace of her passing.
​
Lillia, the guardian of dreams and secrets, embodies the essence of solitude. Only the ancient trees and the moonlit wanderers of the grove are privy to her existence. Her purpose, twofold, binds her to the very soul of the forest: to protect the slumbering dreams and to safeguard the hidden secrets nestled within the depths of the foliage.
​
Silent and elusive, Lillia roams the grove, her slender form blending seamlessly with the whispering leaves. Her pale skin, kissed by the moon's gentle light, radiates a luminescence as though she were spun from the forest's essence. Adorning her head rests a crown of antlers adorned with delicate flowers, a whimsical symbol of her connection to the realm of nature and dreams.
​
The denizens of Ionia, blissfully unaware of Lillia's presence, continue their lives beyond the grove's borders. Unbeknownst to them, a guardian spirit watches tirelessly over their dreams, her existence shrouded in secrecy. The pact between the ancient trees and the enigmatic spirit ensures that Lillia remains known solely to the forest, a charming secret shared between friends.
​
In this enchanted grove, where the line between waking and dreaming blurs, Lillia stands as an unseen guardian. Her gaze, brimming with wisdom and compassion, pierces through the veils of slumber, nurturing the dreams of sleepers and ensuring they remain undisturbed by the chaos of the outside world.
​
In recent times, an unusual affliction has descended upon the sacred grove, shrouding its once-vibrant foliage in a dark and foreboding veil. The vibrant colors that once adorned the leaves have now withered, replaced by a sickly hue that hints at an insidious presence lurking within. The gentle whispers that once filled the air with a melodic symphony have been silenced, as if the very essence of the grove has been muted. This delicate balance, cherished by Lillia, now hangs in peril, and her heart resonates with the forest's mournful lament.
​
Deep within the grove's inner sanctum, where sunlight used to weave its playful dance upon the emerald leaves, now lie shadows that slink with treacherous intent. The once-lively hues have faded into a pallid shade, betraying the presence of a malevolent force. The ancient trees, guardians of the grove, tremble with an eerie unease, their branches stretching out in desperate supplication towards the heavens.
​
Lillia, ever attuned to the murmurs of the forest, feels the weight of distress that blankets her cherished sanctuary. Her gentle heart quickens with a mixture of determination and trepidation as she embarks on her personal quest. With each step she takes, the soft earth beneath her hooves resonates with both her unwavering resolve and the burden of responsibility she carries.
​
Guided by her profound connection to the grove, Lillia follows the faint echoes of anguish that linger within its depths. The whispers, once filled with life and beauty, now bear a mournful tone, as if mourning their own fading existence. She traverses the familiar paths she knows so well, her feet barely touching the ground, blending seamlessly with the ethereal ambiance of the grove.
​
As Lillia ventures further into the heart of the forest, she encounters pockets of the enigmatic darkness that taints the once-vibrant foliage. It clings to the leaves like a suffocating shroud, draining their life essence and casting a somber veil over the grove. Her heart aches with a bittersweet blend of sorrow and determination as she extends her delicate fingers, hoping to kindle a glimmer of restoration in the corrupted leaves.
​
With each tender touch, Lillia feels the pulse of the grove, a shared heartbeat reverberating through her being. She whispers words of solace, her voice a gentle zephyr that rustles through the branches, carrying the essence of hope upon its breath. Despite the looming threat of darkness, Lillia remains resolute, refusing to surrender to despair. Her resolve, akin to a flickering candle flame, only grows stronger in the face of adversity.
​
Motivated by her unwavering love for the grove and its denizens, Lillia presses onward, guided by an unseen hand. Though the whispers of the ancient trees have dimmed, their echo still resonates deep within her spirit, urging her forward. She knows that the fate of the grove, and all it symbolizes, rests squarely upon her shoulders, much to her dismay.
​
As Lillia cautiously ventures deeper into the heart of the forest, an unsettling truth begins to reveal itself. A long-dormant and wicked force has awoken, casting a dark shadow over the once serene grove. This entity, known as the Shadowveil, now emerges with sinister intent. It thrives on the dreams of the innocent, twisting their hopes and aspirations into haunting nightmares.
​
Within the labyrinthine depths of the forest, Lillia's timid nature senses the presence of this awakened malevolence. Her heart races, and a shiver of fear runs down her spine. The whispers of the trees, usually comforting, now carry a somber warning, urging her to beware the dangers that lie ahead.
​
With each cautious step she takes, Lillia's trembling hooves navigate the treacherous paths of the grove. She treads carefully, her senses on high alert for any sign of the encroaching darkness. The once peaceful sanctuary transforms into a battleground where opposing forces clash, leaving her overwhelmed and uncertain.
​
As Lillia continues her journey, she encounters undeniable signs of the Shadowveil's presence. Twisted and thorny vines replace the once vibrant foliage, their grotesque forms seemingly mocking her. The once fragrant air now carries a dank, foreboding scent, making her nose wrinkle in discomfort. The forest she once found solace in becomes an unsettling place that tests her fragile courage.
​
In a hidden glade deep within the grove, Lillia stumbles upon an ancient mural that tells the chilling tale of the Shadowveil's rise. The vivid images depict innocence transforming into despair, a sight that strikes fear into her trembling heart. Though her natural instinct is to flee, a flicker of determination stirs within her, urging her to face the daunting challenge before her.
​
With trembling hands, Lillia reaches out to trace the faded lines of the mural, her touch hesitant yet filled with a desperate need to understand. The mural responds to her timid touch, emitting a faint glow as if it recognizes her presence. Whispers, both ancient and gentle, guide her through forgotten incantations that may hold the key to confronting the Shadowveil's grip.
​
As Lillia cautiously ventured deeper into the heart of the forest, she confronted the twisted creatures that emerged from the influence of the Shadowveil. These grotesque beings, born from the malevolent force, had transformed the once-familiar inhabitants of the grove into corrupted and joyless beings.
​
With her lithe frame and nimble movements, Lillia engaged in stealthy battles, relying on her agility and the latent magic of her dream-laden branch. Swinging it with grace and precision, she swiftly neutralized the corrupted beings, ensuring that her strikes found their mark.
​
But it was not only her physical prowess that aided her. Lillia's connection to the dreamscape granted her an advantage beyond mortal capabilities. Tapping into the ethereal realm of dreams, she wove intricate patterns of energy, casting ethereal strands with a wave of her branch. These strands ensnared the minions of the Shadowveil, trapping them within their own nightmares.
​
As the dream traps took hold, Lillia witnessed a transformation in the corrupted beings. Their twisted forms convulsed and contorted as they struggled against the invisible restraints. In that struggle, their captivated minds were freed, the darkness fading away to reveal glimpses of the innocence and purity that had been stolen from them.
​
Filled with compassion and determination, Lillia saw these battles as opportunities for redemption, not destruction. Each encounter became a testament to her strength and the power of dreams. With each release, she glimpsed the flickering hope that her efforts might eventually restore balance and light to the grove.
​
With each victorious encounter, Lillia pressed on, guided by ancient whispers and the luminescent glow of her dream-laden branch. The path ahead grew increasingly perilous, yet her courage blossomed alongside the challenges she faced. No longer burdened by trembling hooves, she moved forward with purpose, delving further into the darkness that enveloped the grove.
​
And so, Lillia continued her whimsical struggle against the Shadowveil, combining nimble grace with dream-woven magic to battle its corrupted minions. Through each encounter, she inched closer to unraveling the malevolent force's hold on the innocent. With every ethereal trap she crafted, she moved one step closer to reclaiming the dreams that had been devoured by the insidious entity.
​
As Lillia valiantly battled the twisted creatures born from the influence of the Shadowveil, she embarked on a poignant journey to uncover the origins of this malevolent force. Hidden among the verdant foliage, she discovered ancient carven stones adorned with intricate symbols, each stone revealing a fragment of a sorrowful tale.
​
Through the hushed whispers of forgotten lore, Lillia pieced together the tragic story of the Shadowveil. Long ago, it was not a harbinger of darkness but a benevolent guardian spirit, entrusted with the sacred duty of nurturing the dreams and aspirations that bloomed within the grove.
​
Before corruption had tainted its essence, the Shadowveil embodied ethereal beauty and a gentle grace. It danced with the sunlight filtering through the leaves, casting enchanting patterns of shadow and light. Its presence inspired hope and filled the hearts of the grove's inhabitants with a sense of wonder.
​
But destiny, cruel and capricious, intervened. A lost and tormented wraith, wandering through the realms, encountered the radiant spirit of the Shadowveil. This wraith, consumed by its own suffering, saw the purity within the guardian spirit as an opportunity to perpetuate its own despair.
​
The wraith's malevolence seeped into the very fabric of the Shadowveil's being, tainting its essence with an overwhelming darkness. The once-ethereal spirit was consumed by the weight of its own despair, transforming into the malevolent entity now known as the Shadowveil.
​
Lillia's heart ached as she envisioned the radiant spirit that the Shadowveil had once been. She could almost see its luminescent form, glowing with the dreams and aspirations of the grove's inhabitants. It was a heartbreaking reminder of the innocence lost and the tragic fate that had befallen the guardian spirit.
​
Driven by compassion and a deep sense of empathy, Lillia fought not only to restore stolen dreams but also to bring solace and redemption to the corrupted spirit. Each encounter with the Shadowveil's minions served as a poignant reminder of the beauty that had been extinguished and the pain that now permeated the grove.
​
Her dream-laden branch pulsed with an otherworldly power, a testament to the dreams and hopes it held. The luminescent glow that emanated from it whispered of forgotten memories, guiding Lillia deeper into the heart of the forest. She was determined to not only heal the grove but also to offer a glimmer of healing to the wounded spirit that had once been the radiant guardian of dreams.
​
As Lillia pressed onward, the battles against the corrupted minions of the Shadowveil became a somber dance between despair and hope. She fought not only for the dreams and aspirations of the innocent but also for the chance to bring redemption to a spirit lost in the depths of its own anguish.
​
Driven by her unwavering compassion for the forest and her kin, Lillia ventured deeper into the heart of the grove, guided by the radiant glow of her dream-laden branch. Her destination was the sacred clearing where the formidable Shadowveil stood, its twisted form casting an ominous shadow that seemed to suffocate the land.
​
With a mixture of grace and occasional clumsiness, Lillia initiated her intricate dance, effortlessly evading the tree-like entity's attacks. Her dream-laden branch emanated an ethereal glow, pulsating with the pure essence of dreams she had reclaimed from the corrupted minions she had encountered. Each strike she delivered resonated with a potent determination, gradually weakening the Shadowveil's hold on the forest.
​
The ancient guardian spirit, now enveloped in darkness, unleashed waves of malevolent energy, its branches contorting and reaching out hungrily. Yet, Lillia's otherworldly agility allowed her to evade the grasping tendrils with nimble movements. Although her dance bore hints of awkwardness and unrefined elegance, it exuded a raw beauty that stemmed from her unwavering conviction and the glimmer of hope that persisted within the Shadowveil.
​
The air grew thick with a palpable blend of despair and longing as the showdown unfolded. Lillia's heart thumped with each beat, resonating with the pain and turmoil she sensed within the corrupted spirit. Deep within the layers of darkness, she knew that a fragment of the radiant guardian's essence still yearned to be set free.
​
With each strike and defensive maneuver, Lillia tapped into not only her own strength but also the collective dreams and aspirations of the grove's inhabitants. The dream-laden branch shimmered, interweaving the hopes and wishes of all who had been affected by the Shadowveil's corruption. Its radiant energy infused her attacks with unwavering power, as if the very essence of the forest rallied behind her, lending her strength in the battle against encroaching shadows.
​
In the midst of the tempestuous confrontation, the ultimate outcome remained uncertain. The delicate balance between Lillia's compassion and the Shadowveil's despair teetered on the precipice of redemption or eternal darkness. Undeterred, she pressed on, guided by an unwavering belief in the transformative power of dreams.
​
As the pivotal moment approached, a surge of energy coursed through Lillia's being. A torrent of radiant light, interwoven with the very essence of dreams, gathered within her. With unwavering determination, she unleashed this formidable power, directing it towards the looming presence of the Shadowveil. The luminous cascade enveloped the corrupted entity, penetrating the layers of darkness that had plagued it for far too long.
​
The surge of radiant energy, infused with the dreams reclaimed from the Shadowveil's minions, acted as a cleansing force, unravelling the insidious tendrils of corruption that had ensnared the ancient guardian spirit. The Shadowveil convulsed, its twisted form contorting in a mixture of agony and relief. Lillia's magic, driven by her boundless compassion, permeated every inch of the entity, offering solace and forgiveness in its wake.
​
In that climactic moment, the weary guardian found solace at last. The essence of the Shadowveil yielded to the soothing embrace of an eternal slumber, its torment finally laid to rest. Lillia, her voice filled with heartfelt empathy, whispered a tender wish for pleasant dreams to accompany the guardian spirit in its eternal repose.
​
As the radiant energy dissipated, a serene stillness settled upon the grove. The corrupted tendrils that had tainted the once-vibrant land withdrew, vanishing into ethereal wisps of shadow. The oppressive shroud cast by the Shadowveil lifted, and the grove bathed in the gentle glow of renewed tranquility.
​
With the malevolence banished, the grove erupted in joyful celebration. The once-stunted flora flourished with newfound vitality, their vibrant hues painting the landscape with a kaleidoscope of colors. Delicate flowers bloomed, their fragrant petals dancing upon the soft caress of the breeze. Sunlight filtered through the dense foliage, casting enchanting patterns of light and shadow upon the rejuvenated forest floor.
​
The inhabitants of the grove, from the tiniest woodland creatures to the towering ancient trees, reveled in the return of harmonious existence. Their spirits lifted as the weight of the Shadowveil's corruption dissipated, replaced by a profound sense of hope and bliss. Whispers of gratitude echoed through the verdant expanse, mingling with joyous songs of celebration, creating a symphony of nature's delight.
​
And yet, amidst the jubilation, an air of anticipation lingered.
​
Lillia stood amidst the vibrant grove, her heart swelling with a newfound victory and a flicker of courage that had ignited within her. The triumph over the Shadowveil had awakened her spirit to the possibilities that lay beyond the familiar confines of her secluded home. The forest, in all its ancient wisdom, seemed to beckon her towards the mysteries of the wider Ionian realm, urging her to step out and interact with the humans who dwelled there.
​
As she stared into the distance, Lillia felt a tantalizing sense of adventure tugging at her very core. Her imagination painted vivid pictures of encounters, friendships, and stories that awaited her beyond the boundaries of her forest sanctuary. The allure of the unknown whispered promises of growth and connection, enticing her to take that leap of faith.
​
But just as she was about to muster the courage to step forward, a chilling breeze of doubt swept through her. Fear, like an old adversary, crept into her thoughts, whispering tales of rejection and the pain of not being accepted by the world beyond. It gnawed at her, threatening to shatter her fragile hopes and dreams.
​
With a heavy sigh, Lillia gently shook her head, as if trying to dispel the doubts that threatened to hold her back. She knew that her journey, though filled with triumphs, wasn't quite complete. There were still layers of healing and growth she needed to unravel before venturing into the uncharted territory of the human realm.
​
Resolute in her decision, Lillia chose to return to her secluded existence, at least for now. She embraced the contentment that came with the personal victory she had achieved, finding solace in the healing embrace of the grove. The forest, sensing her choice, whispered its gratitude, a gentle breeze carrying its appreciation through the rustling leaves. The ancient trees, now teeming with newfound life and vibrant energy, swayed and sang songs of heartfelt appreciation to their humble protector.
​
Lillia understood that her journey would continue, guided by the whispers of the wind and the dreams that still burned within her. She knew that, one day, when the time was right, she would gather enough strength to step beyond the safety of her forest home and embrace the human world with open arms. But for now, she would cherish the tranquility of her grove, nurturing her own spirit and blossoming alongside the vibrant flora that surrounded her.

I would first like to clarify, that while I do main Lillia, I am not super in tune with her lore. I just know that I adore her and her Disney-esque whimsy. Secondly, I am an amateur writer who is horrible at writing dialogue, so I tend to write my short stories without it. This is my first attempt at writing a story that takes place in an IP that is not of my own creation. I would greatly appreciate any and all feedback, but also love to hear what you think about this story.
Whispers of the Dreamgrove - A Lillia Story
In the heart of Ionia, where emerald canopies of ancient trees intertwine, a sanctuary untouched by the chaos of the outside world reveals itself. Here, time dances to a different rhythm, and the air sings with a whispered enchantment. It is in this hidden grove that Lillia, the Bashful Bloom, discovers solace and kinship.
​
The grove, embraced by towering arboreal sentinels, stands as a haven for all that is pure and wild. Its serene beauty weaves a spell that tickles the senses, as gentle sunlight filters through the lush foliage, casting a delightful dance upon the forest floor. Fragrant blossoms scent the air, their delicate aroma mingling with the faintest whispers that ride a breeze meant for the chosen few.
​
Nestled within this secluded haven, Lillia resides, her ethereal presence a mere ripple in the tapestry of the grove. Cloaked in a soft aura of mystery, she moves with a grace that mirrors the swaying branches above. Her hooves, delicate and soundless, tiptoe upon the mossy carpet, leaving no trace of her passing.
​
Lillia, the guardian of dreams and secrets, embodies the essence of solitude. Only the ancient trees and the moonlit wanderers of the grove are privy to her existence. Her purpose, twofold, binds her to the very soul of the forest: to protect the slumbering dreams and to safeguard the hidden secrets nestled within the depths of the foliage.
​
Silent and elusive, Lillia roams the grove, her slender form blending seamlessly with the whispering leaves. Her pale skin, kissed by the moon's gentle light, radiates a luminescence as though she were spun from the forest's essence. Adorning her head rests a crown of antlers adorned with delicate flowers, a whimsical symbol of her connection to the realm of nature and dreams.
​
The denizens of Ionia, blissfully unaware of Lillia's presence, continue their lives beyond the grove's borders. Unbeknownst to them, a guardian spirit watches tirelessly over their dreams, her existence shrouded in secrecy. The pact between the ancient trees and the enigmatic spirit ensures that Lillia remains known solely to the forest, a charming secret shared between friends.
​
In this enchanted grove, where the line between waking and dreaming blurs, Lillia stands as an unseen guardian. Her gaze, brimming with wisdom and compassion, pierces through the veils of slumber, nurturing the dreams of sleepers and ensuring they remain undisturbed by the chaos of the outside world.
​
In recent times, an unusual affliction has descended upon the sacred grove, shrouding its once-vibrant foliage in a dark and foreboding veil. The vibrant colors that once adorned the leaves have now withered, replaced by a sickly hue that hints at an insidious presence lurking within. The gentle whispers that once filled the air with a melodic symphony have been silenced, as if the very essence of the grove has been muted. This delicate balance, cherished by Lillia, now hangs in peril, and her heart resonates with the forest's mournful lament.
​
Deep within the grove's inner sanctum, where sunlight used to weave its playful dance upon the emerald leaves, now lie shadows that slink with treacherous intent. The once-lively hues have faded into a pallid shade, betraying the presence of a malevolent force. The ancient trees, guardians of the grove, tremble with an eerie unease, their branches stretching out in desperate supplication towards the heavens.
​
Lillia, ever attuned to the murmurs of the forest, feels the weight of distress that blankets her cherished sanctuary. Her gentle heart quickens with a mixture of determination and trepidation as she embarks on her personal quest. With each step she takes, the soft earth beneath her hooves resonates with both her unwavering resolve and the burden of responsibility she carries.
​
Guided by her profound connection to the grove, Lillia follows the faint echoes of anguish that linger within its depths. The whispers, once filled with life and beauty, now bear a mournful tone, as if mourning their own fading existence. She traverses the familiar paths she knows so well, her feet barely touching the ground, blending seamlessly with the ethereal ambiance of the grove.
​
As Lillia ventures further into the heart of the forest, she encounters pockets of the enigmatic darkness that taints the once-vibrant foliage. It clings to the leaves like a suffocating shroud, draining their life essence and casting a somber veil over the grove. Her heart aches with a bittersweet blend of sorrow and determination as she extends her delicate fingers, hoping to kindle a glimmer of restoration in the corrupted leaves.
​
With each tender touch, Lillia feels the pulse of the grove, a shared heartbeat reverberating through her being. She whispers words of solace, her voice a gentle zephyr that rustles through the branches, carrying the essence of hope upon its breath. Despite the looming threat of darkness, Lillia remains resolute, refusing to surrender to despair. Her resolve, akin to a flickering candle flame, only grows stronger in the face of adversity.
​
Motivated by her unwavering love for the grove and its denizens, Lillia presses onward, guided by an unseen hand. Though the whispers of the ancient trees have dimmed, their echo still resonates deep within her spirit, urging her forward. She knows that the fate of the grove, and all it symbolizes, rests squarely upon her shoulders, much to her dismay.
​
As Lillia cautiously ventures deeper into the heart of the forest, an unsettling truth begins to reveal itself. A long-dormant and wicked force has awoken, casting a dark shadow over the once serene grove. This entity, known as the Shadowveil, now emerges with sinister intent. It thrives on the dreams of the innocent, twisting their hopes and aspirations into haunting nightmares.
​
Within the labyrinthine depths of the forest, Lillia's timid nature senses the presence of this awakened malevolence. Her heart races, and a shiver of fear runs down her spine. The whispers of the trees, usually comforting, now carry a somber warning, urging her to beware the dangers that lie ahead.
​
With each cautious step she takes, Lillia's trembling hooves navigate the treacherous paths of the grove. She treads carefully, her senses on high alert for any sign of the encroaching darkness. The once peaceful sanctuary transforms into a battleground where opposing forces clash, leaving her overwhelmed and uncertain.
​
As Lillia continues her journey, she encounters undeniable signs of the Shadowveil's presence. Twisted and thorny vines replace the once vibrant foliage, their grotesque forms seemingly mocking her. The once fragrant air now carries a dank, foreboding scent, making her nose wrinkle in discomfort. The forest she once found solace in becomes an unsettling place that tests her fragile courage.
​
In a hidden glade deep within the grove, Lillia stumbles upon an ancient mural that tells the chilling tale of the Shadowveil's rise. The vivid images depict innocence transforming into despair, a sight that strikes fear into her trembling heart. Though her natural instinct is to flee, a flicker of determination stirs within her, urging her to face the daunting challenge before her.
​
With trembling hands, Lillia reaches out to trace the faded lines of the mural, her touch hesitant yet filled with a desperate need to understand. The mural responds to her timid touch, emitting a faint glow as if it recognizes her presence. Whispers, both ancient and gentle, guide her through forgotten incantations that may hold the key to confronting the Shadowveil's grip.
​
As Lillia cautiously ventured deeper into the heart of the forest, she confronted the twisted creatures that emerged from the influence of the Shadowveil. These grotesque beings, born from the malevolent force, had transformed the once-familiar inhabitants of the grove into corrupted and joyless beings.
​
With her lithe frame and nimble movements, Lillia engaged in stealthy battles, relying on her agility and the latent magic of her dream-laden branch. Swinging it with grace and precision, she swiftly neutralized the corrupted beings, ensuring that her strikes found their mark.
​
But it was not only her physical prowess that aided her. Lillia's connection to the dreamscape granted her an advantage beyond mortal capabilities. Tapping into the ethereal realm of dreams, she wove intricate patterns of energy, casting ethereal strands with a wave of her branch. These strands ensnared the minions of the Shadowveil, trapping them within their own nightmares.
​
As the dream traps took hold, Lillia witnessed a transformation in the corrupted beings. Their twisted forms convulsed and contorted as they struggled against the invisible restraints. In that struggle, their captivated minds were freed, the darkness fading away to reveal glimpses of the innocence and purity that had been stolen from them.
​
Filled with compassion and determination, Lillia saw these battles as opportunities for redemption, not destruction. Each encounter became a testament to her strength and the power of dreams. With each release, she glimpsed the flickering hope that her efforts might eventually restore balance and light to the grove.
​
With each victorious encounter, Lillia pressed on, guided by ancient whispers and the luminescent glow of her dream-laden branch. The path ahead grew increasingly perilous, yet her courage blossomed alongside the challenges she faced. No longer burdened by trembling hooves, she moved forward with purpose, delving further into the darkness that enveloped the grove.
​
And so, Lillia continued her whimsical struggle against the Shadowveil, combining nimble grace with dream-woven magic to battle its corrupted minions. Through each encounter, she inched closer to unraveling the malevolent force's hold on the innocent. With every ethereal trap she crafted, she moved one step closer to reclaiming the dreams that had been devoured by the insidious entity.
​
As Lillia valiantly battled the twisted creatures born from the influence of the Shadowveil, she embarked on a poignant journey to uncover the origins of this malevolent force. Hidden among the verdant foliage, she discovered ancient carven stones adorned with intricate symbols, each stone revealing a fragment of a sorrowful tale.
​
Through the hushed whispers of forgotten lore, Lillia pieced together the tragic story of the Shadowveil. Long ago, it was not a harbinger of darkness but a benevolent guardian spirit, entrusted with the sacred duty of nurturing the dreams and aspirations that bloomed within the grove.
​
Before corruption had tainted its essence, the Shadowveil embodied ethereal beauty and a gentle grace. It danced with the sunlight filtering through the leaves, casting enchanting patterns of shadow and light. Its presence inspired hope and filled the hearts of the grove's inhabitants with a sense of wonder.
​
But destiny, cruel and capricious, intervened. A lost and tormented wraith, wandering through the realms, encountered the radiant spirit of the Shadowveil. This wraith, consumed by its own suffering, saw the purity within the guardian spirit as an opportunity to perpetuate its own despair.
​
The wraith's malevolence seeped into the very fabric of the Shadowveil's being, tainting its essence with an overwhelming darkness. The once-ethereal spirit was consumed by the weight of its own despair, transforming into the malevolent entity now known as the Shadowveil.
​
Lillia's heart ached as she envisioned the radiant spirit that the Shadowveil had once been. She could almost see its luminescent form, glowing with the dreams and aspirations of the grove's inhabitants. It was a heartbreaking reminder of the innocence lost and the tragic fate that had befallen the guardian spirit.
​
Driven by compassion and a deep sense of empathy, Lillia fought not only to restore stolen dreams but also to bring solace and redemption to the corrupted spirit. Each encounter with the Shadowveil's minions served as a poignant reminder of the beauty that had been extinguished and the pain that now permeated the grove.
​
Her dream-laden branch pulsed with an otherworldly power, a testament to the dreams and hopes it held. The luminescent glow that emanated from it whispered of forgotten memories, guiding Lillia deeper into the heart of the forest. She was determined to not only heal the grove but also to offer a glimmer of healing to the wounded spirit that had once been the radiant guardian of dreams.
​
As Lillia pressed onward, the battles against the corrupted minions of the Shadowveil became a somber dance between despair and hope. She fought not only for the dreams and aspirations of the innocent but also for the chance to bring redemption to a spirit lost in the depths of its own anguish.
​
Driven by her unwavering compassion for the forest and her kin, Lillia ventured deeper into the heart of the grove, guided by the radiant glow of her dream-laden branch. Her destination was the sacred clearing where the formidable Shadowveil stood, its twisted form casting an ominous shadow that seemed to suffocate the land.
​
With a mixture of grace and occasional clumsiness, Lillia initiated her intricate dance, effortlessly evading the tree-like entity's attacks. Her dream-laden branch emanated an ethereal glow, pulsating with the pure essence of dreams she had reclaimed from the corrupted minions she had encountered. Each strike she delivered resonated with a potent determination, gradually weakening the Shadowveil's hold on the forest.
​
The ancient guardian spirit, now enveloped in darkness, unleashed waves of malevolent energy, its branches contorting and reaching out hungrily. Yet, Lillia's otherworldly agility allowed her to evade the grasping tendrils with nimble movements. Although her dance bore hints of awkwardness and unrefined elegance, it exuded a raw beauty that stemmed from her unwavering conviction and the glimmer of hope that persisted within the Shadowveil.
​
The air grew thick with a palpable blend of despair and longing as the showdown unfolded. Lillia's heart thumped with each beat, resonating with the pain and turmoil she sensed within the corrupted spirit. Deep within the layers of darkness, she knew that a fragment of the radiant guardian's essence still yearned to be set free.
​
With each strike and defensive maneuver, Lillia tapped into not only her own strength but also the collective dreams and aspirations of the grove's inhabitants. The dream-laden branch shimmered, interweaving the hopes and wishes of all who had been affected by the Shadowveil's corruption. Its radiant energy infused her attacks with unwavering power, as if the very essence of the forest rallied behind her, lending her strength in the battle against encroaching shadows.
​
In the midst of the tempestuous confrontation, the ultimate outcome remained uncertain. The delicate balance between Lillia's compassion and the Shadowveil's despair teetered on the precipice of redemption or eternal darkness. Undeterred, she pressed on, guided by an unwavering belief in the transformative power of dreams.
​
As the pivotal moment approached, a surge of energy coursed through Lillia's being. A torrent of radiant light, interwoven with the very essence of dreams, gathered within her. With unwavering determination, she unleashed this formidable power, directing it towards the looming presence of the Shadowveil. The luminous cascade enveloped the corrupted entity, penetrating the layers of darkness that had plagued it for far too long.
​
The surge of radiant energy, infused with the dreams reclaimed from the Shadowveil's minions, acted as a cleansing force, unravelling the insidious tendrils of corruption that had ensnared the ancient guardian spirit. The Shadowveil convulsed, its twisted form contorting in a mixture of agony and relief. Lillia's magic, driven by her boundless compassion, permeated every inch of the entity, offering solace and forgiveness in its wake.
​
In that climactic moment, the weary guardian found solace at last. The essence of the Shadowveil yielded to the soothing embrace of an eternal slumber, its torment finally laid to rest. Lillia, her voice filled with heartfelt empathy, whispered a tender wish for pleasant dreams to accompany the guardian spirit in its eternal repose.
​
As the radiant energy dissipated, a serene stillness settled upon the grove. The corrupted tendrils that had tainted the once-vibrant land withdrew, vanishing into ethereal wisps of shadow. The oppressive shroud cast by the Shadowveil lifted, and the grove bathed in the gentle glow of renewed tranquility.
​
With the malevolence banished, the grove erupted in joyful celebration. The once-stunted flora flourished with newfound vitality, their vibrant hues painting the landscape with a kaleidoscope of colors. Delicate flowers bloomed, their fragrant petals dancing upon the soft caress of the breeze. Sunlight filtered through the dense foliage, casting enchanting patterns of light and shadow upon the rejuvenated forest floor.
​
The inhabitants of the grove, from the tiniest woodland creatures to the towering ancient trees, reveled in the return of harmonious existence. Their spirits lifted as the weight of the Shadowveil's corruption dissipated, replaced by a profound sense of hope and bliss. Whispers of gratitude echoed through the verdant expanse, mingling with joyous songs of celebration, creating a symphony of nature's delight.
​
And yet, amidst the jubilation, an air of anticipation lingered.
​
Lillia stood amidst the vibrant grove, her heart swelling with a newfound victory and a flicker of courage that had ignited within her. The triumph over the Shadowveil had awakened her spirit to the possibilities that lay beyond the familiar confines of her secluded home. The forest, in all its ancient wisdom, seemed to beckon her towards the mysteries of the wider Ionian realm, urging her to step out and interact with the humans who dwelled there.
​
As she stared into the distance, Lillia felt a tantalizing sense of adventure tugging at her very core. Her imagination painted vivid pictures of encounters, friendships, and stories that awaited her beyond the boundaries of her forest sanctuary. The allure of the unknown whispered promises of growth and connection, enticing her to take that leap of faith.
​
But just as she was about to muster the courage to step forward, a chilling breeze of doubt swept through her. Fear, like an old adversary, crept into her thoughts, whispering tales of rejection and the pain of not being accepted by the world beyond. It gnawed at her, threatening to shatter her fragile hopes and dreams.
​
With a heavy sigh, Lillia gently shook her head, as if trying to dispel the doubts that threatened to hold her back. She knew that her journey, though filled with triumphs, wasn't quite complete. There were still layers of healing and growth she needed to unravel before venturing into the uncharted territory of the human realm.
​
Resolute in her decision, Lillia chose to return to her secluded existence, at least for now. She embraced the contentment that came with the personal victory she had achieved, finding solace in the healing embrace of the grove. The forest, sensing her choice, whispered its gratitude, a gentle breeze carrying its appreciation through the rustling leaves. The ancient trees, now teeming with newfound life and vibrant energy, swayed and sang songs of heartfelt appreciation to their humble protector.
​
Lillia understood that her journey would continue, guided by the whispers of the wind and the dreams that still burned within her. She knew that, one day, when the time was right, she would gather enough strength to step beyond the safety of her forest home and embrace the human world with open arms. But for now, she would cherish the tranquility of her grove, nurturing her own spirit and blossoming alongside the vibrant flora that surrounded her.

So for the past weeks im finding more and more songs that have lyrics that are ripped off. Heres 3 i found this week:
Gunz for Hire - i'm a criminal (https://youtu.be/Ru1d1v7K3Cs) Lyrics are from The Notorious BIG - Somebody gotta die (https://youtu.be/22YBfS3hLrg)
B-front ft Outsiders - Faith of this world (https://youtu.be/6mFHPoiio8A) Lyrics are from Naruto anime - Madara's speech to obito (https://youtu.be/H4K7sPdpy1I)
Radical Redemption - Stronger & Better (https://youtu.be/DXdJ1nB6vF4) Lyrics are from Les Brown - Getting unstuck (https://youtu.be/zTNNKUBDNsU)
Do you guys know anymore?
Note: not bashing any artist i still like them😊

Mary loves balloons!
Balloons are fun and super colorful!... Her mum and pop used to buy her all the balloons in the world! She used to love to go to the carnival just for the balloons!… And the clowns.

 Mary loved clowns. And balloons. 

….Mary doesn't remember the last time she had gotten a balloon…
Mary also doesn't remember the last time she saw her mum and pop…
…

Oh well! 

Who cares about some adults who control her every move? Mary did not care for balloons anymore. Though, she did still love clowns! Who could not?

Mary loves the masked man too! 

The masked man took good care of Mary while she stayed in the dark place. He would bring down food and toys for her to play with! Though, sometimes the food tasted a little funny, and the toys were also missing their heads. Sometimes the toys would shout…Whenever Mary would hold one of them to her ears she would hear screeches of terror coming from the toys. Mary would try to ask the Masked Man about the screeching but he got angry and took them all away…

One day Mary noticed how the Masked man started to bring down other small bobbleheads when he came back to check on Mary. He would leave them on a high shelf away from Mary’s reach. 

“You are not old enough to be playing these toys” He would say with a sickeningly scratchy voice.

 Nonsense! Mary thought. 

All toys are good toys and are made to be played with accordingly!
Mary made a plan to retrieve the ‘toys’ while the Masked Man was away.

Mary would climb the shelf and get the toys all for herself! “A perfect plan!” Mary would say to herself. The next night Mary went on with her plan as the masked man went along to his study upstairs. Mary never could see upstairs since the entrance was always covered with a preposterous number of balloons. Mary began to walk over to the shelf as the creek of the floorboards filled her ears. 

Mary then quickly reached for the lowest shelf and pulled herself up with her frail and pale arms.
She repeated this action until she got to the halfway point. That is when she heard the screeches again. Small and weak, but they still filled her ears, almost torturing them.
As she repeated her climbing motion the screeches got louder and clear enough to hear the words they were saying. Things like “You don't belong here” and “One of us you are”.
When Mary reached the top, she encountered a red and thick liquid. Mary knows this liquid. This is the liquid that her Mum and Pop would clean off of her knee when she got a booboo from tripping.

Mary pulled herself up to peek over the shelf to see the horrifying sight of headless bobbleheads covered in booboo liquid reaching her vision. 

“YOU DON’T BELONG HERE RUN”

Mary listened to the bobbleheads and turned her body around to try and get down from the shelf, though when she did, she saw the masked man smiling creepily up at her. 

He whipped his hand out and grabbed onto her ankle and tugged making Mary screech in pain and fall onto the floor next to him.

“Wrong choice little Mary” He cooed. 

“Now you will have to suffer the consequences and become just like them.” He said
“That's too bad hm?”

 On a street somewhere in a neighborhood a missing person poster along with many other missing child posters flew in the wind. The paper stated “Mary Foughner missing last seen at the carnival on June 13th if found call 904-555-0044” 

“Suspect of all missing children: A tall man 6 '5 dressed in a clown costume and mask.”

I saw Moulin Rouge last night, and here are my thoughts: Set design A++ Costumes A++ Performances A+++ Story C+ Orchestrations A++ Song choices C-
I have to be upfront in that I really loved the movie version of Moulin Rouge. And I wonder if that is skewing my perspective. I really don’t think that I want an exact carbon copy of the movie put into stage form, but I feel like I didn’t believe it in any of the relationships in the show. If I had not seen the movie, everything would’ve felt so rushed.
Also felt like the music didn’t fit the scenes, almost as if they were trying to cram as many songs as they could into the show. Is this normal for jukebox musicals? The audience would laugh practically every time they started a song, which to me, felt like it was because there was a little discomfort rather than a song fitting the moment.
I must be in the minority because the show is doing so well worldwide, but I was hoping for something that emphasized the story rather than showcasing radio hits from the last decade. 🤷‍♂️

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full [R-word censored by jobs] to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

Hi, like the title says I'm looking for friends. I've been bashed in other subs for asking the same thing. I just honestly would like some new friends who happen to be gay.

I was struggling to make a setup work whereby I could combine the functionality of Nginx proxy manager, Cloudflare tunnels and Crowsec. With some tinkering and using a combination of a few different guides online (for which I can't find all of the links I originally used to give credit, sorry!) I managed to get this setup working. It also includes Goaccess for a visual representation of the Nginx proxy manager traffic. I've tried to make the guide as simple as possible, so that even someone with very little experience should be able to follow.
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CAVEAT - Please read
I've had this setup working for a month or so now. At the time I wasn't thinking about making a guide so I didn't document every step. I'm doing this guide by memory and from looking back through my config files. I don't really want to tear down my setup and do it again from scratch (if it ain't broke don't mess with it!), so it is very possible some minor steps or settings may be missing from the guide. If you have trouble leave a reply and I will try to help! If I realise I missed a step I'll come back and edit the guide.
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Prerequisites:
A domain name and a Cloudflare account with that domain name already linked.
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ADDING THE MAIN STACK

If you are using Portainer click Stacks then Add stack. Name it something like crowdsec-proxy and paste in the following. Make sure to edit the sections next to the #comments Also make sure that the same password is used where it says 'random secure password A' and a different one where it says 'random secure password B':
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Docker compose here:
https://hastebin.com/share/yubuhehibu.yaml

version: "3" services: nginx_proxy_manager: image: baudneo/nginx-proxy-manager:bullseye container_name: nginxpm ports: - '80:80' - '81:81' - '443:443' volumes: - /config/npm:/data - /config/npm/letsencrypt:/etc/letsencrypt restart: unless-stopped environment: PGID: "1000" SSL_CERTS_PATH: "/etc/ssl/certs/GTS_Root_R1.pem" TZ: "Europe/London" ADMIN_PANEL_LOG: "1" CROWDSEC_BOUNCER: "1" OPENRESTY_DEBUG: "0" DB_MYSQL_HOST: "172.35.0.5" DB_MYSQL_PORT: 3306 DB_MYSQL_USER: "npm" DB_MYSQL_PASSWORD: " " # Random secure password A here DB_MYSQL_NAME: "npm" depends_on: - db - tunnel networks: crowdsec_proxy: ipv4_address: 172.35.0.4 crowdsec: image: crowdsecurity/crowdsec:latest container_name: crowdsec expose: - 8080 environment: PGID: "1000" volumes: - /config/crowdsec/data:/valib/crowdsec/data - /config/crowdsec:/etc/crowdsec - /valog/auth.log:/valog/auth.log:ro - /valog/crowdsec:/valog/crowdsec:ro - /config/npm/logs:/valog/nginx:ro restart: unless-stopped depends_on: - tunnel networks: crowdsec_proxy: ipv4_address: 172.35.0.6 db: image: 'jc21/mariadb-aria:latest' restart: unless-stopped container_name: npm_db environment: MYSQL_ROOT_PASSWORD: '' # Random secure password B here MYSQL_DATABASE: 'npm' MYSQL_USER: 'npm' MYSQL_PASSWORD: '' # Random secure password A here volumes: - /config/npm/mysql:/valib/mysql networks: crowdsec_proxy: ipv4_address: 172.35.0.5 tunnel: container_name: cloudflaretunnel image: cloudflare/cloudflared:latest restart: unless-stopped command: --config /etc/cloudflared/config.yaml tunnel run volumes: - /config/cloudflared:/etc/cloudflared environment: TUNNEL_TOKEN: ' ' # Your unique tunnel token from Cloudflare networks: crowdsec_proxy: goaccess: image: xavierh/goaccess-for-nginxproxymanager:latest container_name: goaccess restart: unless-stopped environment: - TZ=Europe/London - PUID=998 - PGID=100 ports: - '7880:7880' volumes: - /config/npm/logs:/opt/log:ro networks: crowdsec_proxy: ipv4_address: 172.35.0.7 networks: crowdsec_proxy: ipam: driver: default config: - subnet: 172.35.0.0/24 

If you're using docker compose CLI create a docker-compose.yml file with the above pasted in and run docker compose up
You can run and then stop this stack so that it creates relevant directories and files, however it wont work properly until all the settings have been amended.
​

EDITING VARIOUS CONFIG FILES

You will need to set up a number of config options. Firstly open up a terminal and navigate to config/clouflared and run the following commands:
nano config.yaml
Paste the following in to the new config.yaml file:
https://hastebin.com/share/vukopajeqe.yaml

tunnel: #put your Tunnel ID here (NOT the same as your tunnel token which we used on the previous step) this is listed on the tunnels section of your cloudflare zero trust dash between Name and Status. No quotation marks required. warp-routing: enabled: true metadata: headers: - name: CF-Connecting-IP values: - "$http_x_forwarded_for" 

Next cd to /config/crowdsec and run
nano acquis.yaml
Delete the current contents of the file and paste the following this basically just tells crowdsec where to get the log files and what typre of log files they are:
https://hastebin.com/share/fofujuvolo.yaml

filenames: - /valog/nginx/*.log labels: type: nginx-proxy-manager --- filenames: - /valog/auth.log - /valog/syslog labels: type: syslog --- filename: /valog/apache2/*.log labels: type: apache2 --- 

Whilst still in the crowdsec directory run
nano config.yaml
the only info you need to check/change for now is the line
listen_uri: 0.0.0.0:8080
it should already be set to 0.0.0.0:8080, but amend if required.
We should now be able to start the stack. Check the log files for any issues.
​

SETTING UP CROWSEC BOUNCER & COLLECTIONS

We now need to add the NGINX proxy manager bouncer, so in a terminal run
docker exec -it crowdsec /bin/bash
Which will give us a bash session inside our crowdsec container. Now run
cscli collections add crowdsecurity/nginx-proxy-manager
*Memory is slightly fuzzy here as I think the collection includes the bouncer as well. If you get given an API key here you can ignore adding the bouncer separately with the command below, if not run the following:
cscli bouncers add npm-proxy
This should generate an API key, which we will need. Copy this key and keep it safe.
Type exit and hit enter to leave the crowdsec container terminal.
cd to /config/npm/crowdsec and run
nano crowdsec-openresty-bouncer.conf
we need to edit the top few lines of the config file to match this:

ENABLED=true API_URL=http://172.35.0.6:8080 API_KEY= # enter your API key from the previous step here 

We now need to restart the stack.
​

ADDING THE PUBLIC HOSTNAMES

I'd recommend generating a wildcard SSL certificate by going to the main Cloudflare dash, selecting SSL/TLS then Origin server. Click create certificate. Leave it as default RSA (2048) and add *.yourdomain.com Set the certificate validity to 15 years and click create. Open a text editor and paste the contents of the origin certificate box. Save this as yourdomain.com.crt Do the same for the private key box, this time saving it as yourdomain.com.pem Under the SSL/TLS overview menu you should now be able to set the SSL encryption mode to full (strict).
In your Cloudflare zero trust tunnels dash click on your tunnel and then configure. Click public hostname, then add public hostname. Add any subdomains you wish to expose externally (e.g. nextcloud.yourdomain.com or vaultwarden.yourdomain.com)
With all of these you want to set service type to HTTPS and the URL to 172.35.0.1:443 This just throws all traffic at Nginx proxy manager to route internally. I also set the origin server name in TLS settings to the subdomain (e.g. nextcloud.yourdomain.com or vaultwarden.yourdomain.com)
​

NGINX PROXY MANAGER CONFIG

Once you're finished adding all the subdomains on Cloudflare head over to the NGINX proxy manager dash which will be on localhost:81. It will ask you to sign in with the default login [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) and password changeme. You will be prompted to set your own admin account here.
Firstly we need to set up the wildcard SSL cert we got from Cloudflare. Go to SSL Certificates then click add SSL Certificate, then Custom. For name just go with yourdomain.com For the Certificate key browse to the yourdomain.com.pem file we recently created and do the same for Certificate (selecting the yourdomain.com.crt file). Intermediate certificate can be left blank. Click save.
Now head to Hosts, then Proxy Hosts. Click add Proxy Host. (I'll be using Vaultwarden as an example here, so amend the details as required) enter the domain name vaultwarden.yourdomain.com The scheme will likely be http (unless you've set up local SSL).
​
Forward Hostname / IP for containers running on the same docker network
If you connect any other services to the crowdsec_proxy docker network, you can simply reference by container name i.e vaultwarden and the forward port as whatever port vaultwarden is running on. In my case 8005.
​
Forward Hostname / IP for containers running on a separate docker network
You will need to specify the gateway IP of the docker network the service is running on. If you're running a management software like portainer you can go to networks to see all the networks running on the node and their relevant gateway IP addresses. To see this info from the terminal run docker network ls and then docker network inspect networkname (replacing the networkname with a network from the list) under config this will list the gateway IP. Add forward port as whatever port vaultwarden is running on, in my case 8005.
​
Check 'Block common exploits' and 'Websockets Support'
Under SSL select the yourdomain.com SSL certificate from the drop down list. Check all the options here.
Lastly under advanced paste the following in to the 'Custom Nginx Configuration' box:

set_real_ip_from 172.35.0.0/24; real_ip_header CF-Connecting-IP; 

This will ensure that the logs show the origin IP addresses of traffic coming in to the server, rather than logging all traffic as originating from the local IP of your Cloudflare tunnel.
​

TESTING IT'S WORKING

​
Visit vaultwarden.yourdomain.com and you should see the login page for your service.
Next we can ban our own IP address to make sure Crowdsec is working, so grab your external IP address
Open a bash terminal inside the crowdsec container:
docker exec -it crowdsec /bin/bash
cscli decisions add -i youripaddress
If you try to visit vaultwarden.yourdomain.com again you should get a 403 error message.
cscli decisions remove -i youripaddress
You should now be able to access vaultwarden.yourdomain.com again.
The following are also useful:
cscli metrics
cscli decisions list
cscli collections list
or just cscli to see a list of available commands
​

GOACCESS

Head to localhost:7880 to see the all the graphs from your Nginx proxy manager logs.
​

SOURCES/INFO

I would recommend visiting https://hub.crowdsec.net/browse/#configurations where you browse collections, parsers and bouncers to Crowdsec specifically for other services.
User Ciphermenial who gave me some great info https://ciphermenial.github.io/posts/haproxy-crowdsec/
You can connect your Crowdsec instance to their web GUI https://app.crowdsec.net/instances and add some blocklists of already flagged IP addresses.
I would also recommend checking out https://www.crowdsec.net/blog/crowdsec-with-nginx-proxy-manager particularly around the setup of reCAPTCHA
Techno Tim did a great video on Crowdsec, although he is using Traefik rather than Nginx PM as a reverse proxy, so whilst the info is good the setup process is different. https://youtu.be/-GxUP6bNxF0
Thanks to user who pointed out the formatting errors in the original post and for directing me to hastebin!
---------
I hope this guide helps and sorry if I'm forgetting any steps. If you have any ideas on how to improve this stack, or any other additions that would be useful it'd be great to hear some ideas. Once again this is done from memory and was a long post to type, so apologies if I have made any errors (very likely)!

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full retard to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

"Tim McGraw" Hint: blond guitarist with yellow jacket and red shorts on occasions
He said the way my blue eyes shined
How are her eyes? Needing sleep? So worried for her, she needs to eat more warm food. When she went to Vegas she was panhandling with song and she got $21 or so with her mom after throwing trash on the fountain like Detti soaped the fountain with a bar and got quickly bailed, and after the first girl scolded the security guard after the littering event. But what she earned with her mom that night was for 1 buffet that night. Not for breakfast. How is her mom? How is her makeup supply? She smeared her guitar with kohl from her tears?
Put those Georgia stars to shame that night
What do you mean? No more singers or celebs from Georgia could come to Nashville then/anymore? Or they were blinded by the LED light? Or the constellations put on a veil?
I said, "That's a lie"
Do you really have blue eyes? Or sunflowers are coming? You uplifted the homeowners of Georgia/ I heard real estate was quite affordable there. But your penthouse is $15K a month - does that include Lisa's 1800GOTJUNK services?
Just a boy in a Chevy truck
How old? Legal to drive? Tall enough to drive that truck? No limb fractures? Eye health OK? Is he wearing his mascot costume, eg Banana SLUG? Sun Devil? Blue Devil? Cardinal?
That had a tendency of gettin' stuck
How? Elmer's glue? Gorilla glue? Uhu?
On back roads at night
Oh, did you have special car lights on like according to the DMV book? And where did the back roads lead to - the stones?
And I was right there beside him all summer long
Why do you expect me to be with my date 24 hours all summer long? How can one date practice swimming in the pool when I am singing a duet with Alicia Keys or Beyonce on my phone in the gym nearby? How can another date earn money for us by Uber Eats while I'm at the office for Uber? How can a third date play tennis while I bargain with the sports store salesman about getting Penn balls vs Onix balls? How can a fourth date record his song in the studio while I coordinate the concert venue? How can fifth date comfort a downcast kid - not her own - with a Happy Birthday song while the peer circle arrange the audiovisual equipment on stage called Rhino Co.?
And then the time we woke up to find that summer gone
"When September Ends" was a cool song? Are you Sleeping Beauty? Who fought the dragon and the thicket for you? Who woke up the castle crew for you? Did you eat pufish? Who almost found a cliffhanger for you? So... what are you going to do in the Fall (Sem.)?
But when you think Tim McGraw
So you had his EP like Goodbye, Norma Jean single in CD? Cool. On Autoloop? What do you like about his songs?
I hope you think my favorite song
Which one? What do you love about it?
The one we danced to all night long
How many hours of dancing? How many calories burned? Was it like with Ed Sheeran for Perfect? What did you wear? What did he wear? Where did you dance? How many stars were in the sky that night? What styles of dancing did you do? How was "Loki" and "...Wonderland strummer"?
The moon like a spotlight on the lake
Cool poetry. Who do you think is worthy of performing on stage? Of having the spotlight? By the way, which lake were you talking about? Do you want to get an MFA degree and upon the conferral, you can write/perform for Equine Therapy Ranches where kids with sadness may go?
When you think happiness
Do you like Gretchen Rubin's work? Do you like Pharell's song, which is on Wii? What do you think of the emoticon deodorant?
I hope you think that little black dress
Do you know Jomaire Studio's sister in a little black dress and black stilettos for weddings? What do you think about Meghan Markle in a little black dress at a baseball game? I liked the white belt a lot.
Think of my head on your chest
Got the ALS challenge? How long did you have to wait for it? I thank Coleman too for supporting the neighborhood around Galleria, which had a cafe and their version of Sparkletts.
And my old faded blue jeans
Can anyone help her get Wrangler jeans? Or Rock Republic trousers? Or jeggings eg from the pharmacy? Or Old Navy blue denims?
When you think Tim McGraw
How often do you think of his name/face? Why? Do you pray for him?
I hope you think of me
Do you like Phantom of the Opera? What do you think if her dress? What if there was a modern version for Jabbawockeesz?
September saw a month of tears
What kind of tears? Was it because of first day of school again?
And thankin' God that you weren't here
Oh, what were the advantages of him not being "there"?
To see me like that
Were you wearing makeup in September - and what brands if so? Did you lose much weight in the summer(s)?
But in a box beneath my bed
Is it from ULine? Was the bed from Ikea or from Sleep Number?
Is a letter that you never read
I remember I had letters foregarding different people, like one of the top human/child traffickers of China and one on a cover for a football player and some for a farmer and some for a colleague and I regret one which was like under hypnosis (I praised his enumeration of "Crayola") - which I sent to someone whom I wanted to say goodbye and I found him as a storekeeper who shooed me away, as a guy who hung around the doorway of my bedroom at 3 am or so, as a guy wanting to know how to get a Peruvian passport, as a guy who bragged abou eating cat dumpling, maybe trying to gain 9 lives (is that the canned cat food?).
From three summers back
Oh you met him at around university? Thanks for your loyalty.
It's hard not to find it all a little bittersweet
You like Dove dark chocolate like fortune cookies? The Ghirardelli dark cocoa squares? The dark chocolate bars by the checkouts of dollar stores? The dark chocolate at the airports? Do you like black coffee? Like Colombian coffee? Do you like Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You"?
And lookin' back on all of that, it's nice to believe
How often and how long do you go into nostalgia? Did you do Throwback Thursday posts?
When you think Tim McGraw
What do you share about Tim McGraw?
I hope you think my favorite song
What is your favorite song, if it's okay to ask?
The one we danced to all night long
Was it a country song? Fast? Duet? With banjos or fiddles? Any props when you danced?
The moon like a spotlight on the lake
What was the phase of the moon then?
When you think happiness
What three things minimum would you do today to be happy?
I hope you think that little black dress
How is your weight (I am concerned with your photos, and you look like a politician in a Christmas green dress in front of a mic, with empty row before her)? When did you buy that little black dress (the song's topic) for yourself? Waist size? Do you think Lululemon or Walgreens leggings would go well with it, like a ballerina?
Think of my head on your chest
Did you have to sanitize the Coleman? What was in it?
And my old faded blue jeans
What brand? When did you buy it? Was it fashionably torn?
When you think Tim McGraw
Someone said he has an MBA - would you be inspired to get an MBA degree as well?
I hope you think of me
What are your three hopes before the weekend? And when someone remembers you, what are the top three qualities of yours that people can publish/televise/discuss/promote action about you?
And I'm back for the first time since then
Where did you return? How?
I'm standin' on your street
What have you been wearing on that street? How long/what time have you been standing there?
And there's a letter left on your doorstep
Can you summarize the letter in a Tweet? What's the color of the envelope? Does it need the HMat?
And the first thing that you'll read is:
What is the first thing that you think of every morning? And every sunset?
"When you think Tim McGraw I hope you think my favorite song Someday you'll turn your radio on
What is your favorite radio show and your favorite radio channel? Your favorite song on the radio? Who is your favorite DJ? I hope it takes you back to that place"
What place? How does it look like?
When you think happiness I hope you think that little black dress Think of my head on your chest And my old faded blue jeans When you think Tim McGraw I hope you think of me
Oh, think of me Mmmm
He said the way my blue eyes shined Put those Georgia stars to shame that night I said, "That's a lie"
Whom do you accuse to be lying?