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2015.06.08 03:50 Jozarin Be the men's issues conversation you want to see in the world.
The men's issues discussion has been sorely held back by counterproductive tribalism. We're building a new dialogue on the real issues facing men through positivity, inclusiveness, and solutions-building.
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2023.06.04 06:10 mynameizham I don’t know what to do anymore
Hi all, Apologies if this post gets pretty long. So, I am a 25 year old guy. I’m a virgin and have never been in a relationship. I keep in decent shape, am extremely conscious about hygiene and clothing and how it compliments my body, and am confident in my appearance.
I wasn’t the best socially at first, but over the years through keeping at it and research I feel I’ve gotten a lot better at it. But at this point, I really don’t know what to do anymore. I feel that dating after the pandemic is a whole different animal, not that I was successful in dating before it.
Online dating has been a complete waste of time. If it’s not a bot or scammer, it’s one match every couple of months. If it’s one match, no contact ever happens on their end. If it does, maybe one to two messages are exchanged before it fizzles out. These past 5 months I’ve tried in person have been absolutely demoralizing.
I’ll explain. I started grad school back in January at the college I got my bachelors at. I went into the semester feeling very positive and hopeful. By the end I felt completely demoralized and mildly depressed. Many of the leads I got lead to absolutely nothing. There were also cold and even hostile interactions I had with some women there. Two instances take the cake for the worst though.
The first was when I was emailed by the president of a club I was apart of about harassment. I asked two women out who were in the club, and they both happened months apart. The interaction ended amicably when they both said no. I also had to leave a play I was apart of because I was unjustly accused of being a pervert.
Also, another harassment accusation was made, this time by a woman who had agreed to meet up. It really seems my school is riding that anti men wave, given what I’ve experienced and what I see on my schools yik yak.
On top of that, the program I’m in really lacks in quality. The whole experience really left me depressed and frankly angry. I even cried a few nights these past five months. Lately I’ve been feeling angry at women. At its worst it’s anger and at its best it’s scornful indifference. I even voiced this to a friend who’s in a similar situation.
I’m just tired of whatever I do never being good enough and made to feel like every single bit of it is my fault, despite trying to be a better person. It’s lonely, it sucks and it fucking hurts. It also feels like I’m missing out on a key part of the human experience. It just shouldn’t be this fucking difficult you know? What the fuck is it gonna take? Thank you
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2023.06.04 06:09 SugarBabyVet Keep Your Business Private
I wanted to cross post a good thread I read, but cannot so I will just bring the context here instead.
The premise: keeping your business private. Keeping everything on a need to know basis.
Often you want to share that you’re an SB, but that is no one’s business. People don’t need to know that you’re dating older men, where your money comes from, how much money you’re making, etc.
We do not live in a progressive world. Women are still denigrated for their sexual histories. Keep your business to yourself.
This even extends past sugar dating. That new job can be celebrated, but you shouldn’t be discussing your salary with your circle.
People have tons of biases and preconceived ideas about who you are and what you’re supposed to do. That has nothing to do with you. Mind your business, stack your paper, and keep your business to yourself.
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2023.06.04 06:09 lord_perfume Pissed about running into a shameless addict in the wild
I’m sure we run into them all the time, but this was so awful that I consider it to be a special case. So I’m out running errands, this guy sees me, literally comes to the aisle I’m about to enter (he had to turn around to do this, as he was originally going in the same direction as me), and then he looks me up and down, at my ass, my breasts, with what seems like exaggerated head movements, then turns back around and continues his shopping.
I. was. livid. He didn’t look at the signs or enter the aisle, he only wanted to leer at me. And he didn’t even care that I noticed or how I felt about it. And I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, not even anything revealing.
Immediately I realize that this person must be a PA, and his actions were deeply triggering for me after what I went through with my horrible ex. Women are nothing more than sexual parts to some of these men, and I just felt so dehumanized and sick. I’m sick of this shit. I AM A PERSON. I AM NOT AN OBJECT FOR PORNSICK BRAINS TO LEER AT. I. HAVE. FEELINGS.
I am not only body parts, I am a whole ass human being. It was extremely triggering because this is how my ex saw me, and he never cared about what I, or women in general, felt. Well what do you know, this guy obviously didn’t either.
The worst part is that he was shopping with his partner, and it made me wonder if she even knows. They just don’t care who they hurt, and I was reminded of a bunch of the betrayal trauma my ex forced me to endure through another man. This addiction makes me sick, I’m so tired of it.
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2023.06.04 06:07 Cultural-Climate-311 HealthMaxxing 101: Basic Nutrition
Hi lovelies, I wanted to start a series on basic guides for healthmaxxing topics based on data/science. This is what I am going to focus on and write up some basic guides for people over the coming month. I plan to write some posts on the basics of nutrition; exercise (strength training, cardio and flexibility), skincare, haircare; hygiene; sleep and also other health related guides and will include all easy to read references on the side so you can actually verify things (much easier than journal articles which requires some basic knowledge of stats and metrics). Prior to getting into this, I want to say all of these are my recommendations based on what I've researched and experienced (been doing this for a while and wrote up an extensive data driven guided for myself ages ago which worked for me). I know everyone has individual circumstances/experiences and so want to preface by saying whatever works for you is great but please try and make discussions/comments below value add for others reading with any data/scientific basis if you are suggesting. As a refreshe//I've written previously, my recommendations for your glow up journey starts with
Cycle 1: high reward/low risk cosmetic procedures and development of a basic grooming routine to get some confidence and feel better about yourself (about 3 months) Cycle 2: Healthmaxxing over a prolonged period (6 months - 1 year) to get yourself at the epitome of health that you can maintain for hopefully the rest of your life. Cycle 3: Hardmaxxing. Once you are at the epitome of health + have a fantastic grooming routine, you can start your surgery journey if need be and intelligently make decisions on what you actually need/have the health basis to recover. *** then cycle through again and again as you learn more.
Basic Nutrition 101 Healthy Plate: To start with, we want to understand exactly what is a healthy plate and what does it comprise of. A summary of the Harvard School of Public Health Healthy Plate Guide (
https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/healthy-eating-plate/)
- Half plate = vegetables (not potatoes) and fruits. Aim for colour + variety *** note these are the carbohydrattes we want
- Quarter plate = whole grains such as wheat, barley, quinoa, oats, brown rice. Not white bread, white rice and other refined grains *** note these are the carbohydrates we want
- Quarter plate protein = mostly fish, poultry, beans (legumes + peas). Limit red meat and completely stop having processed meats
- Health plant oils in moderation such as olive oil.
Grains: According to the Harvard School of Public Health Whole Grains Guide (
https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/what-should-you-eat/whole-grains/)
Avoid:
- Anything processed
- Fried
- White grains
- Potatoes
- Highly processed foods
- Refined sugar
What to have lots of :
- 100% whole grains because whole grains because they contain three parts: the bran (fibre-filled with B vitamins and minerals, as well as phytochemicals that help with disease prevention/protect against some cancers); the germ (nutrient pack core with B vitamins, vitamin E, phytochemicals and antioxidants) and the endosperm (starchy carbohydrate middle layer with protein and some vitamins). Outside of this the components have fibre that will allow for better digestion, maintenance of steady blood sugar, prevention of small blood clots etc.
- To tell if a food is high in whole grains choose unprocessed whole grains like: Amaranth Barley Brown rice Buckwheat Bulgur Millet Quinoa Rye Oats Wheat Berries Wild Rice
- Otherwise to tell if high in whole grains, Use the five USDA criteria to identify whole grains in a food product
- Whole grain listed as first ingredient (most important thing to look at)
- Added sugars not in the first three ingredients
- Whole before any grain ingredient
- Carb-fibre ratio of less than 10:1
- Industry sponsored whole grain stamp
SUGGESTION: mix grains with lentils to get some extra protein when having rice dishes (and for a good meal, add some roast vegetables, spices and olives)
Protein Key takeaways of some especially healthy protein sources:
- Legumes (Harvard School of Public Health Legumes guide - https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/legumes-pulses/ )
- Legumes (including peas and beans) because they are an inexpensive source of protein, vitamins, complex carbs and fibre
- Be more discriminate with products made from legumes such as tofu, hummus etc. because you want to be on the lookout for added sodium, sugar and saturated fat
- Canned oily fish (Harvard Medical School Article on canned fish - https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/ask_the_doctor_is_canned_fish_good_for_the_heart and Harvard School of Public Health Fish guide - https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/fish/ )
- Canned salmon, tuna, sardines, kippered herring, and other types of fish are pretty much on a par with fresh fish
- They are full of health omega-3 fatty acids which are good for the heart, protect against inflammation and formation of blood clots in arteries. They also are high in vitamin D, selenium, protein and saturated fat
- Smaller fish is better for less mercury and if you choose canned, fish canned in oil is better than water to retain more omega 3 fatty acids
- Benefits from eating fish, outweigh costs of mercury exposure and at levels commonly consumed, there is limited and conflicting evidence for effects of mercury in adults (but those who are pregnant should be cautious and follow the above guidelines)
Getting into the specifics as based on Harvard Medical School Guide on Protein -
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/how-much-protein-do-you-need-every-day-201506188096#:~:text=For%20one%2C%20don't%20read,legumes%2C%20nuts%2C%20and%20vegetables and Harvard School of Public Health Guide on Protein -
https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/what-should-you-eat/protein/ What to avoid:
What to eat lots of:
- Legumes - and if most of the protein comes from plants, make sure you mix up sources so no essential components of protein are missing. Examples include Lentils Beans like black, chickpeas, kidney, lima, mung, pinto Peas like green, snow, snap, split Edamame/soybeans and products made from soy like tofu, tempeh
- Nuts Almonds Pistachios Cashews Walnuts Hazelnuts Pecans Help seeds Pumpkin seeds Sunflower seeds Flax seeds Chia seeds
- Upgrade source of animal protein to:
- Seafood (fish, crustaceans, molluscs)
- Eggs
- Poultry
- Dairy
- In moderation of 1-2 servings a day
- Yoghurt is better than servings all from milk and cheese
- note that animal based foods (meat, poultry, fish, eggs and dairy) tend to be good sources of complete proteins whereas plant based foods (vegetables, grains, nuts and seeds) often lack one or more amino acid.
- General guidelines: (NSCA2 )
Suggestion: Eat a variety such as eggs/canned fish breakfast, beans/poultry lunch, salmon/tofu dinner. For cheap easy eats, grain bowls with legumes and tinned fish on toast with picked vegetables is a good go.
Vegetables: After doing an analysis via cronometer on the best foods for various micro intakes (highest amounts and most efficient), here is what I came up with:
- Fibre = Black beans; whole grains like oats; raspberries, artichoke hearts, rhubarb
- Iron = oysters, mushrooms, molluscs, spinach. Liver (and animal sources are better absorbed)
- Calcium = rhubarb, milk; cheese; yoghurt, spinach; okra, tofu,
- Vitamin A = liver (like across all sorts of liver), kale, spinach, lettuce, carrots, yellow and orange vegetables like carrots and pumpkin
- Vitamin C = acerola cherry, red and yellow peppers (particularly this), pineapple, melon, peaches, zucchini, broccoli, spinach, strawberries
- B12 = supplement
- Folate = green vegetables like edamame, asparagus, Brussel sprouts, spinach, beans, lentils, liver
- Potassium = rhubarb, amaranth leaves, legumes, Bok choy, mushrooms, leafy greens (spinach, Swiss chard)
- B1 - B12 = nutritional yeast and whole grains, also liver and mushrooms, eggs
- Vitamin D = mushrooms (all sorts!!!), super high. oily fish like salmon, mackerel, sardines, eggs
- Vitamin E = acai berry; sunflower seeds, almonds, red pepper, spinach
- Vitamin K = kale, spinach, sweet potatoes, avocados
- Copper = liver, oysters, kale, mushrooms
- Magnesium = Swiss chard, legumes, spinach, kale hemp seeds
- Manganese = acai berry; chickpeas; blueberries; brown rice, quinoa, chia seeds, liver and zucchini, peppers
- Phosphorous = milk, meat and fish hemp seeds
- Selenium = fish, nuts, eggs, mushrooms (particular tuna, oyster, mixed nuts)
- Zinc = supplement it
- Omega 3 = 3 flaxseeds; chia seeds; mackerel, salmon
- Omega 6 = sunflower seeds, pine nuts, watermelon, sweet and green peppers, kale, spinach
What can be concluded from the above about things that come up the most:
- Eat lots and lots of leafy greens! This is a fantastic bang for your buck for nutrition
- Supplement B12 and vitamin D also add in nutritional yeast
- Some seeds are particularly good like hemp seeds chia seeds; flax seeds and sunflower seeds. Add them to salads and grain bowls
- Mushrooms ( Shiitake, oyster, maitake, and king oyster mushrooms have the highest concentrations of ergothioneine. - harvard)
- Berries for antioxidants
What I personally like to do to stay within calorie limit and meet targets Use two apps:
- Chronometer to track intake
- Dr greger's daily dozen for inspiration and general guidelines in my head on portions (even though I am not vegan, I use it to help think about how much rice I should have or say intake of leafy greens for a side salad)
For my meal plan: I personally find it difficult to have a new meal for all three meals and don't like to spend so much time cooking and having to come up with creative ways to meet micro goals (it's hard because there are so many). So instead I spent a few hours on cronometer to experiment several basic meals I can have during my day to hit most of my micro goals and give myself room for dinner to choose something healthy that isn't so strict.
For me this looks like a:
- Fruit smoothie in the morning with Greek yoghurt; almond milk, berries and other fruits in season. (I struggle to get calcium otherwise in my day and this is the easiest way to make sure I get it)
- 1 big grain bowl lunch OR dinner consisting of:
- Steamed whole grain e.g. wild rice, quinoa.
- airfried easy chicken breast OR tofu/tempeh OR fish depending on what I'm feeling like
- Roast veges/legumes ( I change up the vegetables depending on what's in season and same with legumes depending on what I have).. To do this I simply toss 1 can of a legumes and vegetables with olive oil; spices, a bit of nutritional yeast.. For vegetables I choose vegetables in every one of the below categories for a variety of textures and will alternate depending on what is in season.
- Round root vegetables (like beets, sweet potatoes)
- Mushrooms (compulsory) , Bell peppers, Onions , Cherry tomatoes
- Long root vegetables (like carrots and parsnips)
- Cruciferous vegetables (brussels sprouts, cauliflower, broccoli)
- Greens
- Soft vegetables (like other stuff, eggplant, zucchini)
- Then to top of it off, I will add a bit of lemon juice + cheese and nuts and seeds depending on what is in the pantry
- As a snack/on the side, I will always have a big bowl of mixed greens with easy low calorie dressings I make myself with avocados, nuts, olive oil, herbs (I actually enjoy eating it separately). I don't snack otherwise
- Dinner will be anything I like that is healthy (but isn't so rigid about number of veges etc. because I already have met most of my nutritional needs already) e.g. thai cashew chicken; alison roman's shallot pasta with anchovies with a side salad; dumplings and steamed vegetables; salmon poke bowls; chicken roasts
** I always track my calories to make sure i'm eating well and this keeps me
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2023.06.04 06:07 Unhappy_Swordfish904 First Ever NPC Men’s Classic Physique Show. Didn’t place well but I feel like I brought an amazing aesthetic!
2023.06.04 06:06 Commander_Fawkess Dasher misses extra cash tip by not following drop off instructions
So before I post I will say I did tip 18% on my order already I’m not a non tipper as I dash myself as a side gig. I don’t believe however many dashers in my area read or follow any instructions as I leave a detailed instructions but they are always ignored.
Basically I have two front doors one that is on my driveway and the other on the opposite end. The front door on the opposite end does appear to be the main entrance I understand but that door doesn’t always close properly so I keep it closed. I put in my instructions to leave it by my other front door including that their is flower beds and that their is a red Chevy in front of the door I want them to leave it at but 9/10 times they leave it by the other door. To test to see if people will follow instructions I left a extra $5 cash tip with a sticky note the last few times but so far that has gone ignored too. It’s not the worst crime ever but it’s definitely disappointing.
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2023.06.04 06:06 InfernoAA P.U.R.E I Voting
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2023.06.04 06:05 Lolahernandz 21 [f4m] Washington/ long term relationship
I’m 21 from Washington State I’m Afro-Latina as well ! 💗I’m looking specifically for white males only. And I’m looking for something long term.
About me I was born and raised in Washington State. Physically I’m between 5’5 & 5’6 im curvy but not big/fat I work out 2 times a day Pilates & yoga are two of my favorite hobbies! I have medium-long dark brown hair I have dark brown eyes.
- I LOVE music I listen to ALL genres I love r&b and hiphop, alternative most.
-I love being outdoors I love being by the water on the beach. I am also very creative I love to create. - I am a real family oriented person and I’d definitely want to find someone who is like that as well. I definitely want children as well. I teach preschool and am in college to pursue a career in education. - I also love thrifting so if your into that as well perfect !
What I’m looking for IF YOU HAVE BLUE EYES THATS A PLUS! ☺️ - you have to love r&b or Rap music - like I said before WHITE MALE - body type really doesn’t matter as long as your in shape and you are active ! - i really am looking for someone who is enjoys different cultures etc. - someone kind and sweet -someone who’s somewhat stylish I like when a guy knows how to dress. Even if that’s jeans and a t-shirt .
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2023.06.04 06:04 Wakeari2113 5/9 shop purchase
I got the 3 shirt pack, the hat (fire), and a surprise red skull tour shirt of the style I truly wanted from the plain black and white drop for 5/9. Super happy I bought from the essential drop. Big win.
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2023.06.04 06:03 InternationalLeg8123 Staph infection?
Age: 23 Gender: female Nationality/ethnicity: White British Weight: 53kg Height: 5ft1
I have been away backpacking in SE Asia since early April 2023. While I was in the Philippines, I noticed I started to get mild bumps / mild acne on my bum cheeks. I thought this might be caused by sitting in wet bikinis and in the sand a lot of the time as we were travelling the islands. We are also staying in hostel dorms so I wondered if the sheets weren’t that clean / I might be irritated by the laundry detergent etc etc
About 2.5 weeks I noticed that one of the spots on my right bum cheek had swollen and become a hard red bump. After a while a black hard head appeared on the bump and it continued to get bigger. I put a plaster on it and then it popped and pus came out of it. I googled it and found out this was a bum boil.
Since then, I have had 3 more (so 4 in total) of these boils. They are not directly clustered together but have all been on the right bum cheek and all had same symptoms.
Is this a staph infection? Should I buy some antibiotics? It seems to be a lot of boils to recur in such a short space of time I.e 4 within a few weeks.
I’m currently in Vietnam so it will be tricky and possibly costly to go see a doctor but I can get a lot of different meds over the counter in most pharmacies here
Any advice would be much appreciated
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2023.06.04 06:03 WheelerMcDealer A murder of crows has been following me, now I know why
A group of crows is called a murder. I never understood why that was until now. See, a few weeks ago, I was taking a walk in the afternoon. I was puffing on my cigarette, when I felt a chill crawl up my neck. It creeped into my bones and I felt eyes boring into the back of my neck. I quickened my pace, not daring to look back. There was a snap behind me, and I turned to see some leaves rustling and a crow staring back at me, with a red beanie in its mouth. I laughed to myself as I turned back around, I was nervous for no reason, I thought. I continued the walk briskly, even though it was just a crow, I couldn’t shake that feeling of something being wrong. I felt a pit in my stomach the rest of the way home. I noticed my shoes weren’t near the door where I usually leave them.
The next day as I got on my bike to work, I saw a few more crows circling above me. They followed me all the way to work, and even pecked at the windows to the cafe. The rest of the day went on as normal, except for this one man with a red beanie that kept giving me a smile that made my stomach turn. Something about his eyes. I heard the flap of the crows following me all the way home.
That night sleep did not come easily. I heard the crows pecking and screeching outside my window. They would take turns flying up to my window and slamming their beaks into the glass. I tensed up every time they made that horrible squawk. Even when they eventually went quiet, I could feel them staring.
The next few weeks I was on edge. I felt their beady little eyes following me wherever I went. It got to a point that even when there weren’t crows, I would hear footsteps behind me, and when I would turn, nothing. Every little sound would make me jump. Be it the sound of the espresso machine, or the wheels of the van that would leave around the same time I would. On my bike rides home, I would almost crash trying to speed away from the cloud of crows.
At home, I swear there were things moving just outside my vision, and when I would turn, there was something a bit out of place. I would notice my vase was tipped over, or my laundry would be scattered alongside the basket.
Tonight, as I was sitting at home, the pecking had stopped for the day, yet I could see a shadow moving along the outside of my window. I heard tapping along the glass and walls. I heard a long, dull scrape at the front door.
I sprinted upstairs and locked myself in my room. I heard some glass shatter downstairs, and some footsteps stamping around. A man called out my name in a gruff voice. I am sitting here, typing this out, trying to pass the time. The crows were trying to warn me. I hope the police get here in time. The footsteps just stopped outside my room, and the crows are starting to screech.
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2023.06.04 06:03 BurnerAccount871 Strange overheating issue
Hey everyone! About 9 months ago, I purchased a 1998 BMW 318is from an older gentleman and his family. The car sat for about a year and was rarely used, and it ran and drove amazing so they sold it to me for $1,500. The first issue I’ve had is an unusual overheating issue. When I’m driving the temps stay at the middle, but when I shut the car off. First time it happened I was at a drive thru and parked my car to wait for a friend. When I turn the car on, I noticed that it took an extra second for the car to turn over and it also needed some throttle to stay on for a second. I realized that the temps were now on the line between the black and red. I left the car to cool down and drove it home. It was fine the day after, and after some further test driving all seemed well. The second time it happens (about 120 miles later), I was filling up my gas tank. When I cranked it also took an extra second but it didn’t need throttle. It was about one bar higher (so not too bad), but the car idled weirdly as well. I suspect it could be a bad thermostat or a bad impeller. Car blows hot air so it’s not the Heater core. Lines looked great so that wasn’t a big concern. The coolant though was a green coolant, rather than the 50/50 mix of G11 coolant and distilled water. My guess is that it could also be coolant related. I’m going to replace the sensor, thermostat, and pump just as a precaution as well as flush the system a few times so that the system is clean and ready for the coolant it takes. If you have a clue as to what’s going on though PLEASE let me know nonetheless. Thanks!
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2023.06.04 06:03 AutoModerator [I HAVE] Stirling Cooper Courses – Complete Bundle CHEAP!!! DM me for further information Discord Server with all courses 99% OFF original price Quick Sale Telegram: t. me/PliatsikG Discord: PLIATSIK#0227
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2023.06.04 06:03 AutoModerator [I HAVE] Stirling Cooper Courses – Complete Bundle CHEAP!!! DM me for further information Discord Server with all courses 99% OFF original price Quick Sale Telegram: t. me/PliatsikG Discord: PLIATSIK#0227
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2023.06.04 06:02 ChangeFearless2166 Funniest interaction with Guests
For me I think the funniest gotta be when this lady came up to me during F2F and asked for a hamburger. I said “Ma’am do you mean a chicken sandwich” and she said no “NO I WANT A HAMBURGER. BEEF NOT CHICKEN!”. I’m tryna hold my laugh as hard as possible and I told her in to most polite voice that we in chick fil a don’t have beef, only chicken sandwiches. And she’s like what kind of fast food restaurant is this, and I’m like a chicken sandwich fast food. She was mad and fuming hot, she just drove off, almost ripping off her front bumper. After she left, me and some of my other friends working f2f started laughing because she was so loud and we were on Red so we stopped taking orders.
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2023.06.04 06:02 SwanhildurStarship My husband’s brother and his wife and children are making my and my son’s life hell because they wish to live their lives using my husbands time and money as they were living be for his marriage to me. Aita for taking my husband’s resources from them?
Back ground: my husband is the youngest of three. The in-laws always treated their 3 son’s like investments to work for them physically or financially. They appear to be y close knit but are actually very dysfunctional. The show created for others benefit is big. The family is a orthodox one and wields the tradition’s like weapons. To control and suppress the daughter in law’s and to some extent the sons. The rules change to their convenience.
The FIL was a disgraced and dismissed bank employee. He swindled money in the name of his middle son(allegedly he didn’t know) and was caught and dismissed from work without pension or benefits. I’ve seen the secret court papers. The public story given is that he co signed a loan and was swindled by his friend. This friend eventually unalived himself. FIL is a misogynist, his favorite is the older brother.
The oldest son has been living with the parents always. Minimum effort towards education, jobs, family even children. He claims to be religious so always in the Pooja room or on his phone. His elder f17 considered her uncle- my husband to be more of a father. Husband m42 considered her as as daughter, (so much so that I wanted to get a dna test done) and his friends and himself would refer to her as his daughter. Leaving people who didn’t know the full details confused- like this guy in married for a few months but has a tween daughter. OB’ wife (S1)was the first dil and has gone through her own hell and still living with the in-laws. Has a reputation of being hard working good rule abiding lady. Very trusted and kind. But is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. She too is minimally interested in her children but does her duties. The duties are divided up according to the typical gender norms. So men are not expected to do any house work. Or care for children. When it come to God related stuff women are not allowed to do anything cook clean etc. only the men can. And this family practices segregation during menstruation. Not allowed to bath, touch the tap or water supply, have to have one bucket of water for all needs. This bucket is hardly ever filled, mostly by my husband as ob is too lazy. Food is dropped onto your plate. You have to eat separately. Sleep on floor. Sit on floor or plastic chair. Not allowed to pass the kitchen door unless it’s closed as the Pooja room is in there. What ever you touch becomes dirty and you need to wash it separately then sometime else has to wash it again. At the end of 3 days all the clothes, utensils and your self will be washed. And then allowed to be back to normal only on the fifth day.
Second bil (sb)has middle child syndrome. He still laments that he is neither parents favorite. He has always Fought a lot. The middle brother (mb) got married and his wife was also out through hell. He claims to have been used the most by his parents. For money as a chauffeur, for expanding the house (with my husband’s money)etc and then thrown out of the house 6 months after the wedding for supporting his wife and not allowing them to torture her. He was named in my fil s scheme but was found to be not involved. I don’t know how they proved this. There is a toxic culture of never speaking to each other unless absolutely necessary. Nobody confronts or has a talk about boundaries. They just do things slyly behind each others backs.
The house is run by my husband’s money. He leaves his cards with the family so the older brother (ob) can withdraw money anytime. And they use it fully. The sb also claims to be contributing monthly. The parents in law have confronted fb but he just doesn’t engage and passively only contributes enough for his family’s needs barely. Appearing to be poor barely working, has a complex, saving money. He buys a car as soon as my husband is getting married. Drives sb bike till it needs to be repaired. Then used the scooter bought by my the three brothers for their father, till last month when I take the keys and start using it forcibly. But the truth is the scooter was only paid for by my husbands money. Sb reveals. So basically they have mooched off my husbands the whole life and can’t tolerate that he is doing those things for only me and my son. Sb foment have kids. Husband was single till 5 years ago. The only grand children was they daughter and son 7m. So they aimed all of my husbands money and the properties would go to them. The entitlement is deep.
So I get married I come in. Our wedding presents are opened by praveen and niece at the time around 12yrs. Rest of it has disappeared. We have never set our eyes on it. I get into fights as I’m nothing wearing Sarees daily and I’m not allowed into the kitchen even to drink water or coffee. But my sister in-laws are jealous that I’m not cooking. I’m expected to clean all the dirty vessels. People just dump their glasses and plated in the sink too. This is disgusting to me. Especially d the floor after food has been eaten. The”goma”. I’m expected to get on my hands and knees and clean the food fallen on the floor with y hand. It’s revolting especially is I find a hair. I’m not allowed to use squeegee. My husband doesn’t even buy me one. I refuse to do all this. And I fight back verbally. All the sisters in-laws have done this but act like they are angels who have never said a word to the in-laws. My husband is usually overseas on work so he claims he doesn’t know what goes on.
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2023.06.04 06:01 ikTray Poseur Puff Print T-shirt
2023.06.04 06:01 avelas55 Anyone know where I can donate great condition men's dress shirts and suits that goes directly to people in need and not resold?
Maybe a program that helps find work after being incarcerated or something like that?
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2023.06.04 06:00 deviantsibling In sex, I get turned on by men, but don’t feel attracted TO them. +my romantic attraction is also a big question.
Sexually, I always thought I was heterosexual but it's always been a little weird. I get turned on by men and dicks and stuff, but I don’t feel “appeal” for it. In fact the only way I can get turned on by men is by feeling repulsed/uncomfortable/violated. I know it sounds like I might be a victim of SA but I never was and it's been like that for as long as I can remember. Visually I can find the look of a man attractive and cute, but when I start seeing the other aspects of the man like the body and demeanor, all I see is cringe, repulsive, and unattractive. It's almost like my parts are working and responding normally, but mentally there is no attraction or connection. I've heard straight girls say things like "I want that man's scrumptious abs in my face" or something and I have never felt that sort of positive attraction connecting to arousal. I have been especially confused about the concept of "making love" or "lovey" sex, because I hear people talk about how physical arousal can intertwine with feelings of love and desire, I just don't get that at all. I rarely feel arousal from women, but I feel much more visually pleased and comfortable by the look of women than men. Very rarely I can feel arousal from lesbian content, but it feels very forced and not as easy as with male content.
Romantically, I've usually guessed that I was biromantic but I'm not so sure anymore. I have always loved feeling fuzzy from straight romance shows and movies, and when I was younger I have definitely had the typical straight fuzzy crush experience. I had relationships with men that were seemingly normal, but looking back, I was much more into the idea of having a boyfriend than the actual boy. About 3 years ago, it feels like any of my romantic feelings for men have dropped off the face of the earth. Nothing major happened aside from mental illness possibly gradually getting worse, but I have been in relationships with 2 men since and it felt like I was in it more for the idea of the relationship than the attraction. With those relationships, I felt asexual/lesbian just tolerating the man and forcing myself to do acts of affection. There were moments where I felt attached to the men but I think it came from more of a place of neediness, loneliness, and validation. Also, the relationships would start out happy but would always end up the same, in that there would just be too many things about the man that I didn't like, which added up. On the other hand, about 5 years I started feeling like I was romantically attracted to women, but never got the chance to put it to the test (just felt like I was getting crushes for them too). I'm not sure if I've ever "been in love" but that's a loaded question.
Also I have OCD which is the "doubting disorder", so that doesn't help my confusion and can possibly the culprit to all of this, but who knows. Anyways any help is appreciated and happy pride month
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2023.06.04 05:59 creating_june Lease is up in January, where to next?
I currently live in central florida with my partner, paying $1553 for a 1b/1b. We moved here for work, but now have the ability to be remote so we’re seriously considering leaving.
The political landscape is a pretty big part of it. We’re from texas, so we’re used to & can handle some red, but the direction Florida is heading just feels like it’s on another level. And we have the privilege to leave. (Which I feel so lucky for)
I’ve lived in the south my whole life, and just feel like my knowledge of where we could go I is so limited. Would love suggestions.
More context/ what we want: - we are at the top of our budget, we can keep things the same but we can’t go over 1500 - left leaning city, dreamville would be a left leaning state too but see point 1 (rip) - small to midsize preferred. I hate interstates and anxiety inducing driving - I dream of living in a walkable neighborhood - young community, currently surrounded by old people. It’s been hard to make friends. - I’ve never lived anywhere with a ton of snow- it’s not a dealbreaker, but would be a big step - we have no plans of breaking up or getting married, but knowing we wouldn’t be screwed if we needed to live alone OR if we wanted to eventually settle down & buy a house- basically, have options that actually feel somewhat achievable. At least eventually. - easy access to a direct flight to IAH is a bonus
What’s been suggested, but we’ve never been: - Kansas City, MO (specifically river market) (love everything I’ve seen, scared of Missouri) - Lakewood, OH (TikTok has HYPED this up) - Albuquerque, NM (this sub has lots of mixed feelings about this one)
Would love any thoughts on the cities above, or any additional suggestions. Feels like a bigger decision just because of all of the current legislation. I’m just trying to survive and be a little happy while doing it.
Thanks if you made it this far!
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2023.06.04 05:58 Lolahernandz 21 [F4M] Washington/Anywhere Long Term
I’m 21 from Washington State I’m Afro-Latina as well ! 💗I’m looking specifically for white males only. And I’m looking for something long term.
About me I was born and raised in Washington State. Physically I’m between 5’5 & 5’6 im curvy but not big/fat I work out 2 times a day Pilates & yoga are two of my favorite hobbies! I have medium-long dark brown hair I have dark brown eyes.
- I LOVE music I listen to ALL genres I love r&b and hiphop, alternative most.
-I love being outdoors I love being by the water on the beach. I am also very creative I love to create. - I am a real family oriented person and I’d definitely want to find someone who is like that as well. I definitely want children as well. I teach preschool and am in college to pursue a career in education. - I also love thrifting so if your into that as well perfect !
What I’m looking for IF YOU HAVE BLUE EYES THATS A PLUS! ☺️ - you have to love r&b or Rap music - like I said before WHITE MALE - body type really doesn’t matter as long as your in shape and you are active ! - i really am looking for someone who is enjoys different cultures etc. - someone kind and sweet -someone who’s somewhat stylish I like when a guy knows how to dress. Even if that’s jeans and a t-shirt .
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