Minecraft small house

The State of Time is a relatively small and surrealist/sci-fi world building project that I started working on earlier this year. I aim for the project to take the form of a vaguely house of leaves styled "complete guide" to the State of Time, a fantastical, somewhat eerie and arguably disturbing albeit ultimately good-natured utopian society of humans who reside on Xanthys, a massive space station that orbits Earth at all points in time simultaneously.
Xanthys is chock full of ridiculously advanced technology and I'd like to share a few aspects of it.
​
The people of Xanthys posses knowledge and technology that enables them to easily transfer 100% of a human consciousness into another body, computer or hard-drive. This, combined with their mastery of cloning and genetic engineering allows the people of Xanthys to not be restricted to their birth bodies. Instead, the average "Xanthysian" actually possesses a multitude of bodies that they can swap their consciousness between at any time via a process that takes less than 1 minute.
Essentially, if a Xanthysian is dissatisfied with their birth body for any reason. They can commission a genetic engineer to make them a new and practically flawless body in full accordance to the clients wildest desires. If a Xanthysian wishes for any of their new bodies to be based on persons with inaccessible genetic codes or fictional characters who are either realistically or unrealistically designed. Advanced computers can analyze pictures of the aforementioned subjects and access a genetic archive of the human species to come up with an assortment of genetic codes that fit the clients desired body. When not in use, the bodies are stored in stacked hypersleep pods that are in turn, stored in a closet-like chamber within peoples homes.
Furthermore, if a Xanthysian desires a body that is non-human, vaguely-human, anthropomorphic, or thoroughly alien. The aforementioned computers can access a greater genetic archive of all life that has existed on Earth, once more, using advanced algorithms to create fully functioning genetic codes for what could very well be a completely new organism.
If one of a Xanthysians bodies require medical attention, they can simply transfer their consciousness into another body while the injured body undergoes surgery and If they do not have another body, their consciousness can be temporarily stored in a computer with this process effectively replacing anesthesia.
Xanthysians are both biologically and psychologically immortal. Although their minds are still subject to time and may degrade with age, mental ailments amongst Xanthysians are easily rectifiable, once again by uploading a persons consciousness into a computer and translating it into code which can be altered. Xanthysians can live indefinitely but none of them have made it to 1,000 years as they tend to grow bored with living after a few to several centuries and may choose to simply delete their consciousnesses from existence.
Xanthysians can record their dreams, edit them, replay them and share them. Their equivalent to video games involves uploading their minds into personalized, shared or multiplayer simulations that are so flawlessly designed, that they are nearly indistinguishable from a reality. Some Xanthysians may choose to spend significant periods of time in simulated realities and they can communicate with people in reality from simulated realities.
The State of Time is an anarchist or near-anarchist society. As a result, it has no concept of poverty or crime and because the SoT is extremely permissive, there is little to no incentive for prisons. However, in the extraordinarily rare event that a member of the society must be forcibly isolated or reformed, this is achieved via something called a "Mind Prison" in which an offending persons mind is trapped within a hyper-adaptive simulation designed to reform them.
​
Because Xanthysians can change bodies like they change clothes. I'm currently not sure how they'd be able to identify each other so I'll need some ideas for that.
Anyway, what do you think?

Good Evening-
BLUF (Bottom Line Up Front): Stats and Interests Below the Cut-Line. Rationale and Compatibility Analysis Directly Below.
::::::::
I am seeking monogamy and commitment from one lady and I am willing to show the same. Currently located in Northern Virginia, but will undoubtedly re-locate due to my career within the next 18 months or so.
I think that the only reasons we might not be compatible are preferences for looks, our careers (especially me in the Navy), sexual compatibility, and how we spend our free time. As for other reasons- I pride myself in communication, problem solving, patience, chivalry, authenticity, and being altruistic.
————————
Statistics: 6’2, Soon to be 36 YO, 196 lbs, 34 waist, Pulse 52, BP 118/72, Shoe- 12, xxx-7.25, Credit Score 807. Foster Homes Lived In-28, Schools Attended- 23. 43 countries visited, Deployments (USN)- 5, Kids- 0. Black Hair, Hazel Eyes, Lean-Athletic Muscular build. Sweet smile, great calves, aging grey temples, youthful/positive face. The usually response I get is either “fuck yes” or “fuck no” - I realize I am not everyone’s type. 5k PR: 1557- college. Mile-4:17- high school (RI all-state). Undergrad: USNA. Master’s: GWU, USNWC
Red Flags 2 Marriages, 1 other Engagement. Broken hearts- many. Times broken-hearted- 2. Currently separated. Introverted and Calculated decision maker due to upbringing. Analytical for good and bad reasons. Harry Potter House Ravenclaw Hat-Stall to Slytherin. Left-Handed, 800M SAT Score. Have won over 600k lifetime gambling (A hobby now, used to be a matter of life/death when I was youngehomeless as a teen).
Personality Assessment: Altruistic and Thoughtful people-pleaser. Detail-oriented and sexually charged gentleman. More cooperative and curious than critical. Constantly self-assessing and self-correcting, reflective and strives for improvement. Aims to use own experience to better others in close proximity and to scale. INTJ, love languages physical touch and quality time. Future POTUS, RI GOV, or Government SES, Navy Ship Captain. Vulnerability, Passion, and Compassion are Hallmarks (See Brene Brown/Esther Perel TED Talks).
Interests: Sports fanatic- specifically Boston teams. Board/Card games. Intellectual/Philosophical conversations. Human Behavior, Running, Walking, Pokémon Go, improving my teams around me, including family. Road trips, traveling- especially San Diego, Miami, Vegas, NYC, the beach, kissing, giving massages, finding a partner who wants to deeply connect romantically and physically and discuss and act out our fantasies. Improving our EQ and erotic intelligence together.
Someone will really like this and I hope if you are interested, we could write our success story here. I am an eternal optimist and I realize that you can’t small talk on apps the way I would really like to get to the heart of serious issues. If you are genuinely ambitious yet humble from our beginnings- maybe one of us is the First Spouse to the other, or, the half of a great partnership and earn the title of best parent, or co-chefs in our house together. Coach of the kids’s sports team is cool, too.
I have almost all the pieces I have to make life great and for me it is- just hoping to find that force multiplier where we can enhance our lives and take each other to a place of leadership and bliss that not even we can imagine right now!

I have been in LA since May 6th, but every day I'm here I'm more and more confused about where I want to live. Based on the info below, where do you think I should check out?
About me: I'm a 29, queer, poc, single woman, hoping to make a career in art/writing. I moved to find more creatives & community, to find my future wife, and to enjoy the warm weather. I do really enjoy swimming, so ideally would love access to a pool or beach. And I really need walkability to get me out of the house, and access to good parks (esp 420 friendly ones). I love thrifting and markets, I am a night owl so really love it when there are places open late near me. And I do have a car, but I really enjoy being able to hop on a bus or walk somewhere instead of having to drive 100%. I would love to have a ~500-600 sq ft studio that feels modern. My budget is under $2800/month
Places I've looked into, and the hesitations that make me confused:
West Hollywood: Very pricey and people say it's catered to predominantly white male gays. Love the nightlife and general greenery
Los Feliz: Pricey, not many apartments, and people say it gets boring living there. Very cute and I like the vermont/hillhurst strips
Silver Lake: Pricey, not many apartments, not very walkable, and people say it's kinda fake/hipster. I love the thrifting opportunities and central location
Echo Park: Pricey, not many apartments. I like the park and location, but not sure if I can find an apartment there.
North Hollywood: Feels small and a bit removed; the walkability of it is kind of limited to a few streets. I do like that it's a bit of a chiller vibe and has a good amount affordable apartments.
DTLA: Everyone seems to have a horror story of living in DTLA. I was about to sign on an apartment in South Park, but was worried that the mess and griminess of the city would get to me. Love the walkability, but not sure if it's safe at night.
Santa Monica: Pricey, lots of tech people. Santa Monica feels like SF where artists are getting priced out, so I'm worried about not finding my people. Otherwise, good walkability and beach access
Long Beach: Far from most other places, I'm a bit worried about there not being as much to do. Seems like there's a good queer community here, good access to the beach and generally walkable in some areas.
Feel free to share new places I should check out! Honestly, I am having a hard time feeling like I love LA. I've lived in SF and Seattle before, and LA just feels very harsh and disparate in many areas by comparison. I feel like in SF/Seattle, you could kind of live most places and be able to access everything else quickly. Not so much here, so I've really been stressing about where I should go. Any help is greatly appreciated!!

I dont know if this is the right sub to say this but lets go.
I dont think they hate me or anything, i just think they dont really like me as a person. maybe im just being a dramatic teenager but i need to get this off somewhere and i dont have a therapist. I get that I'm pretty annoying but I just wish for any sign that if i wasn't blood related to them, they would still want to be my friends. Over the years, I have developed the ability to change my personality to something they like but everytime I try to display more of what I am like they seem to hate it.
my dad keeps begging me to come to his house but when i do he spends all day drunk or out or both. I barely speak to my oldest brother. My mom moves the world for me and does a lot, but when i start speaking to her she always changes the subject or ignores me to speak with my stepdad.
my stepsister is nice to me, i miss her. But she lives in the other side of the country and everyone thinks she's a horrible person. Also she's the result of my dad's cheating so I'm prohibited to talk to her.
What made me write this post was my brother. I have idolised him as the coolest person ever since I was 10 and he played minecraft with me. He's the most determined guy I know and despite having his flaws, he's a very good older brother. The only reason why I come to my dad's house often is because he lives with him. I'm constantly fighting on family reunions because they insist on talking badly about him when he's not there to defend himself and my relatives even call me his lawyer lol. I have recently been spending more time with him and I liked to think we were getting closer. Gradually, i felt comfortable enough to drop the fake personality thing and even came out of the closet to him.
Today, we had a fight. It was about something stupid, i think i was complaining about one of my college teachers and mentioned that i sometimes sit on the back of the class and use my cellphone. He and his girlfriend told me I was being disrespectful, and I said I personally thought I wasn't. The argument was pointless and stupid and I can see why brother told me I'm disrespectful but i still think that teacher can go fuck himself. Anyway, since we both have hot-tempers, the fight escalated like crazy and soon he was yelling and i was holding back tears(i cry when i'm angry lol). It ended with me saying i disagreed with him and he telling me to fuck off.
I went to the bedroom I've been sleeping on, which is right beside his, and my plan was to cry it out and later I could apologize and explain my point clearly. But since my bedroom is beside his, I could hear everything he and his girlfriend were saying. They were talking about the fight and he was telling her that he thought my brain was rotten,that i was immature, lazy, disrespectful, and that he wishes i was pulled out of my extracurriculars (chess, debate club, charity, english classes) because it was clearly melting my neurons.
Now. I know. This is not that big of a deal. It was just a fight and I didn't need to write a whole text about it. But I just feel so sad. I thought he liked me. Like, as a person. But I think he just sees me as his silly little sister.
To be fair to him, he didn't know I could hear him. He's not at fault of anything here. I'll proceed with my plan and tomorrow I will apologize to him. I just feel sad. If he said things to that level, he probably has thought it for a while. I didn't know I was bothering, and I guess I should stop.
My family always gets mad at me for spending too much time with my friends and out of the house, but I really hate how much I have to erase myself around them. I guess it was silly of me for thinking brother was different.

I am a 20 year old male from a small village in the United Kingdom,
To put this in perspective my house used to be haunted, for example as a young boy I was asleep and woke up to my wardrobe door opening, and as the door slowly squeaked open a figure of f dark haired 7ft woman climbed out, this was no sleep paralysis as I was moving around because I have never moved so quickly in my life, but that is only one of the many things that have occurred in my household. So it was a winters night, surprisingly it was calm night the moon was shining onto my door, in my room I have two doors that lead into my garden and to open the doors there are two separate keys that go into each lock. I was watching YouTube whilst on the phone to my ex girlfriend and I heard the decking outside creak, I took my earphone out and went to the door and I heard someone walking outside, so I moved the curtain across and reluctantly looked outside to see absolutely nothing, I opened my door as quickly as I could and looked down the ally by my house and nothing was there. I go back inside and everything is perfectly normal up until about an hour later, the keys in my door started shaking aggressively now at this point I thought someone was in my garden playing mind games with me, I got up and without hesitation this time opened my curtain and yet again I saw nothing, I told my ex girlfriend that I think someone was playing mind games with me and she said to me “your mind is playing tricks on you you’re tired” she had a point it was about midnight at this point and I was kind of tired, and as she said that, I heard it. A loud scratch at my door whilst I was stood up, and I opened the curtain again and nothing was there, I said enough was enough and I went upstairs, but before I went to sleep I had to brush my teeth and use the toilet, as I walked out of my bathroom I heard someone or something walk across my roof, my roof is a flat roof so anyone can climb onto it and walk around, I run upstairs and into my room and go to my window, and as I looked outside I saw it, the tall 7ft woman I saw as a young boy, my heart jumped out of my chest, my mind was thinking 1000 thoughts at once. But something was different this time, it took me 10 seconds to realise what was happening, she was staring at me through the window with her eyes wide open and grinning at me. I jumped into my bed and forced my eyes shut and it must’ve worked because I fell asleep. I woke up and told my mum straight away, she told me that before we bought the house we was told that a family of three used to live here a long time ago, and they had a young son who was killed and the mother went virtually insane and died later on in her life, the boy would sometimes appear in the corner of her eye when she was cleaning the kitchen, she said the boy had blood on a bright yellow shirt and was staring at her with a sinister look.
Do you think the mother wanted to hurt me like her son was hurt, or am I simply going crazy?

When you first enter Cage Town there is a blue or red resident sitting on the bench lamenting his current situation and what he’s lost. When you interact with him he says, “My beautiful house…my beautiful wife…my large automobile“ - lyrics from the Talking Heads song Once in a Lifetime. It’s small touches like these that make this game so enjoyable to me.

• Decorating the house
• Sewing
  • Sewing your own designs onto your own clothes once you get good at it
• Reading (possibly join a book club?)
• Watching comedy shows (e.g. Dry Bar Comedy on YouTube, Netflix specials, etc.)
• Hanging out with friends
  • Be careful who you’re friends with as they can influence you in ways that can break your marriage
• Learn more about Islam, reading more Qur’an, praying more, just getting closer to Allah SWT in general
• Arts & crafts and advancing from there
  • This can help you decorate your house more)
• Beauty/self-care
  • E.g. skincare, hair maintenance, waist-trainer, etc.
  • No tabarruj though, except towards your husband 😉
• Talk with your family
• Learn new recipes
• Come up with fun date ideas for you and your husband
  • Sometimes men might be too tired or too lazy after work to go out (may Allah SWT Protect us all from such) so they might not want to, which can let you down (may Allah SWT protect us all from such); the way to get around this is to let him know in advance (but not too far in advance!) when he’s feeling more active and energetic
• Exercise, pilates, yoga, and general health & fitness activities
  • Stay away from most of the fitness section of social media because you’ll start comparing yourself and your husband to the people you see there, possibly making you ungrateful for what you have (may Allah SWT Protect us from such); and it’s just not good for your mental health and perception of how people should/shouldn’t look like
• Grow plants and vines (decorating your house)
• Gardening & growing your own food
  • Be aware that animals might eat them, you might need to put something up to protect them (or you could let the animals eat them and you get good deeds for it, doesn’t really matter)
• Start a small farm
  • Chickens are one of the easiest since they’re pretty much pets (my grandparents did this and just let them roam free, no one really cared cuz they’re just chickens lol but you might want to buy or build a coop for the nighttime because you’ll attract animals like owls, foxes, coyotes, raccoons, etc. that might try eating them)
• Learning about parenting if you plan to have kids (don’t be a Karen!)
• Video games
  • Some games have a co-op option where you can play with others online
    • I’d advise you not to get a headset because most video games are male-dominated, and once they hear your voice and find out you’re a girl, they might act like complete horndogs, and it's just a terrible thing to do to talk to other men behind your husband's back (may Allah SWT Protect us from such)
• Bake bread from scratch, or anything in general
  • Apparently it’s super hard, especially if you don’t follow a recipe, but it’s a learning experience (and on that can get you better at baking in general)
• Get involved in the masjid more, taking classes there, etc.
• Sleeping
• Send love notes/love letters and hiding them in places your husband frequents for him to find (I’m just making stuff up lol but the gist here is to find ways to invest in your relationship)
• Prepare yourself for intimacy with your husband (maybe get some lingeries, thongs, crotchless panties, etc.)
• Start a blog (it could be about anything!)
• Pottery & ceramics

You just take your time with this stuff. You don’t do them like a checklist of things that need to get done on a deadline. Take your time with it all and enjoy the process of everything and let your mind wander. Relax. No need to overthink things.

This whole situation started when I was a teenager (I am now in my late 20's and I am a female). It was one small conversation that I had completely forgotten about until about 2 years ago. But in the past 2ish years more things have happened that have made me really think about that short conversation.
I was about 13 my mom and I had just moved back in with my grandma where my uncle was already living and at the time his friend was living with us as well. He was only staying for a few months, I never knew why I just knew he was staying there. But when my mom and I moved back in one day while the friend was out of the house my uncle sat me down and told me he didn't want me to be alone with his friend, and that I needed to call him if I found myself alone with his friend. Only about a week after my mom and I moved in, my uncle kicked his friend out. I was young and didn't think much about the conversation and had completely forgotten about it.
About 2 years ago my uncle very suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. And after he passed, his friend came back into my grandmas life. I think my grandma kinda used my uncles friend as a replacement for my uncle. And at first everything seemed fine. But after a few visits I started feeling weird around him and I didn't know why. Then I remembered that conversation my uncle had with me. But I tried to move past it because it was over 10 years ago that we had that conversation, and he is married to a lovely woman so I thought maybe things had changed.
He made a lot of dumb jokes that I never found funny but were always harmless like I would come home with a bowl with some snacks in it cuz my coworkers and I share our snacks with each other and he would ask where his share was, small stuff like that. But then he made some jokes about what I was wearing that felt a little uncomfortable but I was used to my family making similar jokes so I brushed it off. Things like "oh who are you trying to impress going out like that" and "you must be fighting off men left and right" and other similar comments. I started avoiding leaving my room at that point when he would come over but sometimes interactions with him were unavoidable cuz he would be here when I was getting home from work, or he would come over without warning.
Another bit of back story, I am engaged to a man who lives in a different country, and when I have gone to visit him I have fallen in love with where he lives. On top of that its more affordable and overall much safer for us to live there so we are working on me moving to be with him. Well I don't tell my uncles friend anything because he makes me uncomfortable but I know my grandma shares everything with him. So he knows about this situation. And he has on more than one occasion asked me why I was moving and I would explain that its because that's where my fiance lives and I absolutely love everything about where he lives, my uncles friend will always come back with "oh of course its for a boy" and has also made comments along the lines of "oh I guess you're in love... I just don't understand it but whatever" like he acts bothered that I am engaged and moving away. But again I would just hide myself away in my room and constantly convinced myself that I was reading into things and overreacting. I also knew I couldn't say anything to my grandma about it because my family is one of those "if you don't want comments you need to cover up" and I am not allowed to wear shorts around male family members because what if they look at me and have bad thoughts, then that's my fault.
Now all of these small instances were very uncomfortable but I just ignored them, hid in my room, did what I could to avoid the situations. Then something happened today and now I am just feeling icky. I went into work and my coworker told me how yesterday a man fitting the description to a T to my uncles friend came into my work in the afternoon after I had already left asking about me. And he knew details like what I looked like, where I lived, even details about my move to another country. And he made comments about being my uncles friend. Now I didn't hear any of this as I had already left for the day but my coworker is a very trustworthy person and doesn't just come up with stuff for fun, she will even be the first one to call someone out on their bs if she catches them lying so I trust that what she is saying is true. But he was saying how ever since my uncle has passed he has been trying to see me more and more cuz he just cares so much about me and he sees me as like his daughter.
That comment alone weirded me out because I have barely interacted with this man, and I avoid it at all costs so why does he feel that close to me?? He also started talking at length about my move to another country and he wouldn't leave the topic he just kept talking about how he doesn't get how I could fall in love with someone so far away and how I should just stay here and find someone here to fall in love with and other comments basically about how he doesn't approve of my move to be with my fiance. I didn't tell him where I worked but I know my grandma would have but it still weirds me out that he came into my workplace looking for me and then talking at length with my coworkers about my choices and my future and how he doesn't like it when I barely know him.
I just can't wait to get out of this house and far far away from him.

Hi! I was wondering if anyone could recommend me games which focus in exploring worlds/places and don't have focus in combat. I love exploring in games like minecraft, but it gets dull really fast. Ideally I would love a sandbox to build a little house, explore structures and maybe fight or hide from dangers, but mostly chill and have fun.
I only have a PC but it's not low-spec.

Hi reddit, I have a small jack Russell terrier mix who's predisposed to UTIs due to fat around her vulva. I've noticed a couple tiny tiny spots of foamy liquid around the house, and I'm not sure if she's throwing up, peeing it, or if it isn't even her at all. I don't know what else it could be, but her actual pee puddles are completely clear. I had a puppy who died of urinary issues despite taking him to around five vets in just one week, and I'm scared to death about this happening again. Do I bite the bullet and take her to the ER or should I hold off until Monday or until I see more prevalent signs?

So ill change names for this. I was staying at my friend avas house for a sleep over and we were up at 3 am we are still awake well idk about her because im in a different room now. so we were staying in a small room in her house there were two big chairs in the room and to get out of the room you need to move then so at one point i go off it and i asked her for help to move the chair so i could go to the bathroom but she stayd seeted she pushed with one hand snd that was it. I could not hold it because this took about 20 minutes it got on the floor and she just sat there looking at me. I asked her to pass me my bag so i could change and clean up the floor she told me she was bussy but she was just on tick tock i was standing there for a good 18 minutes just trying to get her to give me my bag i feel so bad and all i want to do is go home because i don't really want to see her right now but its 4 am and my mam cant come and get me so im stuck here till tomorrow so am i the jerk

Backstory; I am a musician, and have audio engineers in my (estranged) family. Therefore I’m extra aware of and sensitive to any frequencies
What happened: The other night, I was driving, and had all my windows down and music playing, cruising less than 25 mph. Suddenly, there this ear splitting high pitched noise- so disrupting that it hurt my teeth.
This happened when I passed a particular house. I thought I was losing my mind! So later on st night I drove by again just to see if the phenomenon reproduced. And yep. I slowly rolled by and was met with the same painful frequency.
So I drive by again. I notice a red LED indicator light go on in tandem with the noise. It’s located by the front steps of the house.
Again, I drove by- super super slow. The LED light goes on, but no noise. It’s a small wealthy town and sure enough the police are behind me, so i left.
I’m losing it trying to figure out what this is, because it’s enough to be pretty much unbearable if one were to be exposed to it for any length of time.
I figured I’d ask you engineers first. I want to document this phenom somehow too with my iPhone, if possible, so any suggestions are great.
Thanks!

Hello! Me and my bf just bought an old home in holden in may. We just got informed we will be dropped by our insurance company if we do not have our roof fixed or replaced. :/ this roof will be 100% out of pocket. The house is small and about 950 square feet. Any advice or recommendations is greatly appreciated :)
Side note: our neighbor informed us the roof is probably about 15-20 years old. ( this house was a foreclosure we bought.) so it is assumed we will have to just replace the whole thing.

For context, I play rock and punk rock and have a Seymour Duncan Quarter Pounder split coil pickup in a Jaguar bass. I just sold all my amps because I'm moving and most of my stuff is going to be in storage for 3-6 months while I house shop, so I'm looking to buy a new amp and start fresh. I have two bands lined up to play with. I cannot play through headphones because it aggravates my tinnitus, so I do need a small at home practice amp.
I used to play out of a Rumble 350, but it was too heavy, and I've heard that these are hit or miss in terms of quality, so I'm reluctant to buy again even though mine was good.
I like the light weight of the new Rumbles, the sound is good, and I like a combo amps. But I'm not committed to combos or Rumble Amps. I hear the 500 isn't good at high volumes, but that for my context, I wouldn't be using it at those high volumes.
I can spend up to about $1000, and I'm leaning toward getting a Rumble 40 for at home practice and something else, so about $750-650 for an amp to play with friends and small gigs. What are your recs given my genres and preferences?

I need to get a third party perspective and I'm too scared to ask friends and family. We've been together for about three months.My boyfriend was supposed to come over and spend the night on Friday. I had a really stressful day at work, well, it's been a stressful week tbh. I am in leadership at a small company and have had to put out a lot of fires caused by more junior members of the company, but it puts a lot of stress on me. My boyfriend and I made plans to hang out on the phone Thursday night, but I didn't have time to message during the work day on Friday (which is normal for us). He texted me to confirm we were still good to hang out and I said yeah with a smiley face then suggested we could meet at the park or go out to eat with the dog. I wasn't really sure I was feeling up for hanging out, but he hates when I reschedule things last minute so I wanted to push through.
​
He gave me an ETA, and then arrived like 20 minutes early just as I was taking my dog out with the bike (efficient way to wear her out!). I said I'd be back in ten minutes and my boyfriend waited at my house while I was out. When I got back I told him how I'd had a pretty stressful day and just wanted to have a quiet night. He said he was on board with that and asked what a quiet night would look like to me (<3!) I said maybe just getting some food and drinks to bring home and then watching a movie or something and going to bed early.
​
On our walk to pick-up food we kinda talked about our days, but I didn't say too much about mine except relaying one of the stressful events of the day which he seemed empathetic towards. Then we were pretty quiet. I was still in my own head, and I'm not sure what was going on with him. I think my stress from the day/week was leaking out, but I still tried to push through and have a good night with him. When we got back I made us boozy milkshakes and we ate the food. Then I tried to ask him about how he felt being around me when I was in a bad mood. And he started saying that I was being short with him as soon as he got there and like assuming that I was upset even though I wasn't.
​
This has kind of been a pattern where he always assumes I'm in a negative mood and I'm going to take it out on him or something even though I've never done anything like that (to him or any other person). He asked if I had any movies I wanted to watch, but I didn't have any in mind so I asked if he did. I know he's more of a book person than a movie person, but he didn't have any in mind either. And I just kinda couldn't handle any more decisions, like I just wanted him to pick. But the conversation kinda turned into a thing where he kept accusing me of being upset and I was getting really stressed so I said he should go home, and he said "okay" and then left. But today he told me that he felt like he was "the victim of my bad mood" which makes it sound like I'm abusing him! Can somebody please help me understand what he means? I feel like saying he's a victim is a pretty serious accusation and I want to treat it accordingly. I'm not sure how to respond to him.
​
Thanks in advance, let me know what other details would be helpful!

This is a vent. I’m a single parent and downsized to a small condo around 600 sq ft. I have been saving up for three years and finally purchased new furniture for my kid and for other parts of the house. Since I’m not handy, I also pay for assembly services when I buy furniture.
In the past two months, people will come in our tiny place and take about 30 to 45 minutes to put stuff together and always have to use the bathroom. Why can’t they use the bathroom somewhere else or before they come to my place! I have one bathroom and my kid and I are very particular about people making messes in our toilet. It grosses me out. In the last week four different guys have had to use our toilet on three different occasions.
After they do, I have to scrub and sanitize after them. Then mop the condo floors because they didn’t use shoe protection. I recently bought a box of shoe protecters because of this. So sick of cleaning up after strange, sweaty men! Does anyone else feel this way or am I just overreacting because I like having a clean and sanitized house for me and my kid?

so as i've stated here before, i recently got myself an id cane and a mobility cane. i went out with my friend and his little sister today and took them with me. we went to several places with varying degrees of physical openness and crowdedness. i got stared at a lot (can't really tell if it's because of the aids or because of the fact that i dress like i'm gearing up for warped tour '05 every time i leave my house), but i didn't get harassed or anything, so i see that as a win. i also noticed people moved out of my way the second they saw me, which was nice.
we stopped by a food court though and the cashier handed me my drink when i had propped my id cane against my chest to put my change away. the look on her face when she realized what issue she'd just caused for me was pretty funny. i had readjust myself and let her know that i still have enough vision to navigate out of the line though haha.
i've always been prone to falling over minor changes in floor height or small items that disrupt my path, but with the canes, i only tripped over my own feet once the entire day! and, on top of that, after 7 hours of walking non stop in vans (notorious for awful comfort level), i am in zero pain. for the first time in my life i feel no pain.
in the end i'd say my day was so much better than any of the outings i've had before, simply because im finally using the things that ive needed for my entire life.

My (30M) bf and I (29F) have been together for 4 years. He has a friend named Dan (31M) who he's been friends with for around 10 years. Dan has a drinking problem and when I first met my boyfriend he drank often as well. Pretty much the entirety of their relationship was getting drunk together and watching sports. Half the time when we go over to Dan's he's already drunk, tries to get my bf to take shots with him, and sometimes passes out while were watching a game. My boyfriend has slowed his drinking down immensely and has become an overall healthier person, but Dan has remained the same. Maybe some important notes: Dan is gay, but is not super open about his sexuality- my boyfriend was one of the first people he came out to. Dan has very few friends that live in the area. My boyfriend also doesn't have many friends but does have another best friend who Dan doesn't like for seemingly no reason. About a year ago I started working for the same company as Dan. We get along fine so we never really had any issues. However, over the past few months there have been some questionable interactions between Dan and my BF. The first was the Super Bowl. For the past few years my bf was watched the Super Bowl at Dans house, this year my bf decided to throw a party because his team was playing. He invited some friends, including the one Dan doesn't like, so when he told Dan, Dan's exact words were "end of an era." Which made my bf feeL guilty and he almost cancelled his plans but ultimately decided to follow through with the party. Dan ignored my bf for some time after that. Then a few months ago, Dan invited my bf on a 10 day long road trip for Dan's birthday. My boyfriend wanted me to join but Dan insisted we couldn't both have work off for that long (which is true as we're on a small team). My boyfriend tried to back out but decided to go when Dan told him he'd otherwise cancel the whole trip because that was too long to drive alone. Then on the trip, Dan guilted my bf into paying for expensive meals by bringing up the fact that he'd already spent a lot of money on hotels and gas (they drove dan's car). It's also important to note that Dan makes a lot more money than my bf and I do and he knows that. Then a few weeks ago, Dan and I were texting about work, I could tell he'd been drinking. He brought up the fact that he doesn't have any friends and I said he had me and my bf and he responded "he's in love with you, he only 'loves' me." He quickly tried to say that he didn't mean anything weird by that but I ignored the message. Then a few days ago he tried to invite my bf over to watch a game and eat dinner. My bf declined because he was tired and wanted to spend time with me. Dan asked if he was declining because I work with him, and my bf said no. Dan then said it was weird that he wouldn't want to watch the game with him since they always do, and that he wouldn't be making the elaborate dinner he was planning because he didn't want to eat it alone. My bf felt guilty but irritated because he'd just been over to Dans a few days ago. I guess I'd like advice on how to handle this. My boyfriend is pretty non confrontational, but he is a grown man who can stand up for himself. I'm just becoming more and more uncomfortable with Dan's behavior, but I also don't want to make it weird for us at work. It just feels like he maybe views my bf as his life partner..?

My boyfriend and I, we have been dating for 11 months already. We met at a friend's birthday festivity a couple of years ago, but then we crossed paths again at this time and we really got along well. I think he is an amazing character, very independent and smart, and he is stable.
It has been a laissez-faire relationship regarding each other's hobbies and interests. We share a love for baking, but not too much else out of the ordinary. That's no trouble for us, I'm just adding color.
He bought a house 6 months ago, a nice cozy and small appartement in that could easily sustain 2 adults and 1 child. I have been living by myself for the last 5 years after moving to this city. He asked me a few months ago to move in with him over the summer, and I was thrilled and said yes, and I have been really looking forward to the moment.
However, 3 weeks ago, when we were discussing which day in June I would move in, he suddenly hesitated. I cannot fathom why. He just told me that he doesn't think I should move in yet and we should look at this topic again in 6 months at the end of the year.
I asked him why, and he said he doesn't want to do it yet. I asked him if he was unsure of our bond and relationship potential. He did not answer which to me is an answer.
I am really sad and haven't been able to get an answer from him, but I think he isn't head over heels for me and isn't sure about us, even if he wants it to go on. Could he be cheating? I lost some of my love for wanting to progress the relationship now, and I don't know what to do?I want a dream relationship, and it just doesn't feel like it now

​
I had one conversation with my husband since everything happened—by his choice. It lasted maybe five minutes and was like talking to a robot. I know from others that he cries to people about how he ruined his life, but I have never once gotten an apology or the same show of regret. At this point, I don’t care. I know him and the other woman are still seeing each other and frankly, they deserve each other. Good for them.
While I still feel angry occasionally, I no longer mourn what I once had. Instead, I’m so excited for the life I now get to live. I moved to a small walkable city and gave myself my dream apartment. It makes me so happy to see how I’ve decorated it and to just live in a cozy place instead of our old dreary house. I was the breadwinner in our marriage, and he would make me feel awful about wanting to pay for nice meals or do fun things. Since moving here, I’ve done a ton of foodie fun stuff and don’t feel guilty. It’s so refreshing.
I have dipped my toe into the dating pool again and had plenty of mediocre dates from dating apps. Recently, I found someone who I’ve really clicked with and am enjoying how appreciated and desired he’s made me feel. It’s definitely early and we’re moving slow, but overall, dating has made me realize that I’m a catch who doesn’t have to settle.
Therapy has done wonders and I’m so happy I immediately dove into it. My therapist is proud of me. I’m proud of me. I’ve stopped looking at being divorced as a failure. He failed—not me. I’m genuinely happy and excited to wake up each morning and no longer feel like this terrible weight is sitting on my chest. The holidays were surprisingly easy and I found myself so happy to spend time with my family without having to compromise anything.
So all in all, life is good and there’s so much of it ahead. Looking back, I can’t believe I wasted so much time thinking about how I could get him to come home. I’ve made my own home and my own happiness and that is worth so so much more.

So I might still have a bit of a high, still seeing rainbows from the light of my computer but I felt that moment of clarity where I cried my eyes out already so maybe I am thinking clearly.
So I have a 6 figure job as a programmer for a top medical school. Have worked there for 5 years. The job is stable and people there treat me well. I am female, 34, still single but seeing someone. It's only been like 4 dates though and though the guy is nice I am kind of forcing myself to date him because I'm already 34 and trying not to be too picky (I didn't actively think that but the shrooms made me aware I was subconsciously thinking that).
Meanwhile I have been struggling with lots of childhood trauma since I had abusive Chinese parents who beat me when I was growing up and they always told me I was worthless and stuff. Those memories have been plaguing me really bad lately. There is this repeated scene where my dad would hit me for crying, so I would cover my mouth with my hands to force myself not to cry, but there is still a whimper coming from my nose so he would hit me for that, and so I cover my nose too until I can't breathe and I am choking. I have REPEATED visions of that. Then for 6 months after college, I couldn't find a job right away because I graduated during the recession with a humanities degree and my mom put me under house arrest until one day I couldn't stand it anymore, I went out in the rain for a walk until the police brought me home 7 hours later. Since then she has tried to become a better person, reinvented herself, blah blah blah, and I feel like I HAVE to accept her now because she has apologized and tried to change.
Since then I've learned a highly valuable tech skillset. I worked very hard and used each job as a stepping stone until the next job until I was making 6 figures. Saved my money by tolerating awful Craigslist roommates until I bought my own home. But now that I've achieved all those tangible goals I've gotten depressed again, cried 8 hours in one day 2 weeks ago, lots of negativity over my parents.
I've heard shrooms would help me with my depression and I've taken very small, careful doses before (400 mg max) but this time I did a full gram because I read that you need a large dose for it to improve your depression.
I decided to do so at the beach because the beach is a happy place so I wanted the happiness of the beach to beam through the unhappiness of the depression I have so I don't have a bad trip. The guy I've been dating said there is this great dog park he likes to go to so we went there. I set up a tent.
I offered him some of my mushrooms, but he only took 200 mg. I took 1 gram. Soon the beach started feeling sickeningly bright so I crawled into my tent. Felt like I saw those Indian-style patterns in my tent fabric even though it's a solid blue tent.
Then my little blonde poodle mix's hair started turning rainbow-y from the light. The guy I have been dating decided to walk his dog and they disappeared from view.
And then I saw my manager's head poke out from the side-view of the tent, and he said "Do you wish I were here instead?" and my heart said yes.
So now let's back up. 5 years ago I had a job interview for my current position. It was a Zoom meeting and we didn't even have our webcams on, but I was instantly attracted to my manager because of both how smart he was and how assertive he was. When we actually met in person for the second interview he was also a lot more handsome than what I expected. For my first 6 months working there I couldn't even look him in the eyes because of how attracted I was to him. But I told myself it was a crush and I would get over it. We never said anything inappropriate to each other, but I sense the tension. Like, once I couldn't get something to fit together -- I think it was a pen clip or something small like that -- and he started putting it together and trying with a lot of intensity to help me, and the office gossip made a snide remark that he was acting like a boyfriend trying to please a girl.
Anyway, 2 years later, COVID hit, and now we work remotely and aren't even in the same office. We are supposed to meet once a week to talk about my work and half of those meetings are even rescheduled because other stuff comes up. But I noticed some unusual things, like we both got fluffy blonde dogs that look near identical during the pandemic despite never saying anything about wanting dogs like that. And a few days ago I mentioned buying a lemon tree for my home and he said it was funny because he was just looking online for lemon trees the same week. We never talked about those things to each other before because it's inappropriate to talk about stuff like that at work. I always think with my head, never my heart. Even though we have meetings with our cameras turned off, and we talk about the dry shit like the accuracy of a machine learning algorithm, his voice is the source of comfort to me.
When I took the shrooms, I expected it to help me deal with the depression with my parents. Was I supposed to just feel better and feel at one with the universe or something? Instead, the shrooms closed a lid on that. It didn't give a SHIT about my parents! It just showed me my manager, poking his head over the side of my tent and asking me if I wanted him to be there. And my heart said yes. And it was so fucking clear.
And now I am asking myself, what's the point of having a secure, 6 figure job if I'm depressed? I already own my own home. But the sane part of me is saying, "wtf, what are you thinking, quitting a 6 figure job and then telling your direct manager you like him? This is insane and came out of nowhere! And what about this new guy you've been dating and trying hard to make yourself like? Give him a chance!"
But I was bawling on the drive home. I don't know. Still trying to process. I went into the shroom trip thinking it would explore my relationship with my parents and it just said "fuck that let's show you that you have a crush on your direct manager."