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Lane Bryant Promo Code for June 2023
2023.06.03 09:36 leiathegreenmile Lane Bryant Promo Code for June 2023
Visit this page for Lane Bryant Promo Code for June 2023. The website offers a wide selection of coupons, promo codes, and discount deals that are updated regularly, just visit the website to find the perfect one for you.
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2023.06.02 03:32 Sperhuven-Krispies Lane Bryant?
Has anyone checked out Lane Bryant lately? I looked at their website this morning and I feel like they’ve gotten a little bit better than how they used to be,I saw a few cute things. I was wondering if anyone knows how their sizing is compared to Torrid? I remember when I last shopped there 10+ years ago, they tended to run big in my opinion, I had to size down.
submitted by Sperhuven-Krispies to torrid [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 00:08 NBAjjchamberlain NBA Finals 2023 - Five Strategies to Watch
This year’s NBA Finals is already historic. The Heat are the first play-in team to claw their way out of a 44-38 record and 8th seed to land themselves in the NBA Finals. The Nuggets have never made a Finals, had the best record in the battle hardened West and the city is absolutely stoked. What are NBA heads saying about the series? What are fans around the world hoping to see? How are coaches going to keep these ballers away from Denver’s number one trending story of the year: Shotgun Willie’s Gentleman’s Club, which infamously siren songed the Grizzlies’ Ja Morant into stacking cash on every inch of the private dance room? Slap a booty and get ready for the last NBA basketball of the year.
1 - How to stop Nikola Jokic?
The two time MVP is having yet another killer season. He’s been, arguably, the best player in the playoffs of all time. He’s averging a triple double on 29.9 points, 13.3 assists, 10.3 rebounds and around 1 block and 1 steal per game. This guy can do it all and has undoubtedly contributed to the Heat coaching staff’s lack of sleep. Luckily the state just decrminalized a fanny pack of plant based drugs that may help.
Everyone knows how much the Heat love running zone defense. Can the zone even stop Jokic? Doubt it but the Heat are going to try. They run a fluid 2-3 zone which can flow directly into a 1-3-1 formation. The Heat need to pack the middle of the floor and push Jokic to the sidelines on the pick and roll using their 1-3-1. If the Heat can keep Jokic out of the middle of the floor that limits his options on the center-point guard pick and roll that he runs to perfection with Jamal Murray. Look for easy rebounds and putbacks on the weak side from Aaron Gordon and Michael Porter Jr.
Can the Nuggets outshoot the zone? Damn right they can. Will they? We’ll see. The Heat run out and defend every single three point attempt. They held the sharp shooting Boston Celtics to 30% from 3, down from 37% during the regular season. However, this series may be won from the three point line if the Nuggets can run and the Heat can get Butler into the lane for kickouts.
2 - Who can guard Jimmy Butler?
Aaron Gordon most likely. We will see if he’s too slow to stay in front of Jimmy. If Butler still has that nagging injury he’s been battling the past two series that will help out AG. There are a couple bodies that the Nuggets can throw at James Effin Buckets. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope is an underrated defender with sneaky strength. Reggie Jackson is rusty but used to be able to defend at a high level. Bruce Brown has the heart of fiesty chihuahua but he’s too small. Jamal is too small too. We’ve all seen what Jimmy’s done to smaller guards, he’ll bully his way to the lane and make defenders look stupid with his pump fakes, footwork, interior passing and little chip shots. If Jimmy gets stuffed this series, who will show up for the Heat?
3 - Malone vs Spo
Erik Spoelstra has solidified his standing as one of the greatest coaches of the era, possibly all time. This will be his 6th NBA Finals since taking over the reigns from Pat Riley in 2009. I have no doubt that Spo has some tricks in the bag and having the Godfather on speed dial doesn’t hurt either.
But Malone is no stranger to NBA legacies. His father Brendan was an assistant for the champion Pistons in the late 80’s and then again with the Knicks Finals run in 1999 and the Reggie Miller Pacers in 2000. Michael himself was an assistant during LeBron’s first Finals in 2007. So he does have some experience here in the promised land.
This coaching matchup will come down to, you guessed it, in-game adjustments. Each coach’s ability to change on the fly will be crucial to finding the weak points in each other’s schemes. Every possession will matter in these games. Look for Malone to push the pace with his crew and try to get some quick transition buckets before the Heat can set up their defense. Jokic excels in the rebound-and-go game. In the half court, Malone will try to move Jokic around to different points on the floor and it will be especially interesting when he puts Joker back to the basket in the post. He has the passing, vision, strength, length and creativity to be dangerous that close to the basket.
Spoelstra on the other hand will walk the ball up, play through Butler and try to swing the Nuggets defense from side to side. Expect him to set up Duncan Robinson and Max Strus on the wings where they can be dangerous driving or shooting the three off the Butler-Bam Adebayo pick and roll. Kevin Love can still knock down an open jumper and may have some post move tricks up his sleeve. But he’s so old he can’t even drive a golf cart anymore. Love can be another big body that Spo can put on Jokic to give him different defenders.
4 - Bench Scoring - Who will shine?
The bright lights may burn the bench guys but some will bask in the glory. Kyle Lowry is due for a big game after struggling against the Celtics top tier wing defenders. The Nuggets don’t have the bench defense to hold down all the Heat shooters so we will see a game won by a Heat backup, like we’ve seen in plenty of games so far this playoffs.
The Nuggets bench has issues. Jeff Green is too old. Christian Braun is too young. Reggie Jackson and Thomas Bryant have yet to work their way into the rotation. DeAndre Jordan is a mascot. However, expect some decent minutes from…Vlatko Cancar if the Heat bench is outperforming Green, Brown and Braun. Cancar can guard Love and Robinson. Really this Nuggets bench goes how Bruce Brown goes. If he has a hot game on both ends, the bench looks unstoppable. If he withers like a winter flower then the Heat bench will dominate like they’ve done all year.
5 - The crowd, the altitude, the experience, the refs
Intangibles. The stuff numbers can’t measure. The Nuggets crowd will be loud, fired up and intense. The Heat crowd, not so much. They’ve been spoiled over the years, show up late and leave early. They do wear the white shirts though which looks nice but makes the empty seats even more noticeable.
Do players play worse at altitude? Short answer, yes. Long answer, it depends. The altitude will effect the Heat at the beginning and end of games. The biggest concern is dehydration which means keeping the Heat out of the club and focused on basketball. Heat culture will play a big role here with everyone, top to bottom, 100% ready for each game.
The Heat have much more experience in the Finals than the Nuggets. They have two NBA champions in the rotation in KLove and KLow, three if you count the corpse of Udonis Haslem. They also have a few returning from their 2020 bubble Finals against the Lakers where they lost a heartbreaker to an Anthony Davis fall away three. This grizzled Heat team will be angry and hungry but what else is new? Their Finals experience may end up being the overriding factor in this series, especially among the coaching staffs. The Heat will stay calm and collected even with the intensity through the roof.
Finally, the NBA’s middle management, the refs. Who does the NBA want to win? What will revenue more? This is a coin flip. With the Lakers, Knicks, Celtics and Warriors all on the couch, gone fishin’ or 1-2-3 Cancunin’, the refs will likely call this series as even as they can. A Jokic ring would be the icing on the cake for Eastern European basketball which hasn’t ever had an MVP champion.
So who ya got? The Nuggets in 5 seems like a solid bet at +225 against a hobbled Heat team. But if the Heat push it to six and get back home expect them to finish hard and force a game 7. Heat in 7 is +1000 and it’s tough to bet against them the way they’ve defied all odds.
submitted by NBAjjchamberlain to justbasketball [link] [comments]
1 - How to stop Nikola Jokic?
The two time MVP is having yet another killer season. He’s been, arguably, the best player in the playoffs of all time. He’s averging a triple double on 29.9 points, 13.3 assists, 10.3 rebounds and around 1 block and 1 steal per game. This guy can do it all and has undoubtedly contributed to the Heat coaching staff’s lack of sleep. Luckily the state just decrminalized a fanny pack of plant based drugs that may help.
Everyone knows how much the Heat love running zone defense. Can the zone even stop Jokic? Doubt it but the Heat are going to try. They run a fluid 2-3 zone which can flow directly into a 1-3-1 formation. The Heat need to pack the middle of the floor and push Jokic to the sidelines on the pick and roll using their 1-3-1. If the Heat can keep Jokic out of the middle of the floor that limits his options on the center-point guard pick and roll that he runs to perfection with Jamal Murray. Look for easy rebounds and putbacks on the weak side from Aaron Gordon and Michael Porter Jr.
Can the Nuggets outshoot the zone? Damn right they can. Will they? We’ll see. The Heat run out and defend every single three point attempt. They held the sharp shooting Boston Celtics to 30% from 3, down from 37% during the regular season. However, this series may be won from the three point line if the Nuggets can run and the Heat can get Butler into the lane for kickouts.
2 - Who can guard Jimmy Butler?
Aaron Gordon most likely. We will see if he’s too slow to stay in front of Jimmy. If Butler still has that nagging injury he’s been battling the past two series that will help out AG. There are a couple bodies that the Nuggets can throw at James Effin Buckets. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope is an underrated defender with sneaky strength. Reggie Jackson is rusty but used to be able to defend at a high level. Bruce Brown has the heart of fiesty chihuahua but he’s too small. Jamal is too small too. We’ve all seen what Jimmy’s done to smaller guards, he’ll bully his way to the lane and make defenders look stupid with his pump fakes, footwork, interior passing and little chip shots. If Jimmy gets stuffed this series, who will show up for the Heat?
3 - Malone vs Spo
Erik Spoelstra has solidified his standing as one of the greatest coaches of the era, possibly all time. This will be his 6th NBA Finals since taking over the reigns from Pat Riley in 2009. I have no doubt that Spo has some tricks in the bag and having the Godfather on speed dial doesn’t hurt either.
But Malone is no stranger to NBA legacies. His father Brendan was an assistant for the champion Pistons in the late 80’s and then again with the Knicks Finals run in 1999 and the Reggie Miller Pacers in 2000. Michael himself was an assistant during LeBron’s first Finals in 2007. So he does have some experience here in the promised land.
This coaching matchup will come down to, you guessed it, in-game adjustments. Each coach’s ability to change on the fly will be crucial to finding the weak points in each other’s schemes. Every possession will matter in these games. Look for Malone to push the pace with his crew and try to get some quick transition buckets before the Heat can set up their defense. Jokic excels in the rebound-and-go game. In the half court, Malone will try to move Jokic around to different points on the floor and it will be especially interesting when he puts Joker back to the basket in the post. He has the passing, vision, strength, length and creativity to be dangerous that close to the basket.
Spoelstra on the other hand will walk the ball up, play through Butler and try to swing the Nuggets defense from side to side. Expect him to set up Duncan Robinson and Max Strus on the wings where they can be dangerous driving or shooting the three off the Butler-Bam Adebayo pick and roll. Kevin Love can still knock down an open jumper and may have some post move tricks up his sleeve. But he’s so old he can’t even drive a golf cart anymore. Love can be another big body that Spo can put on Jokic to give him different defenders.
4 - Bench Scoring - Who will shine?
The bright lights may burn the bench guys but some will bask in the glory. Kyle Lowry is due for a big game after struggling against the Celtics top tier wing defenders. The Nuggets don’t have the bench defense to hold down all the Heat shooters so we will see a game won by a Heat backup, like we’ve seen in plenty of games so far this playoffs.
The Nuggets bench has issues. Jeff Green is too old. Christian Braun is too young. Reggie Jackson and Thomas Bryant have yet to work their way into the rotation. DeAndre Jordan is a mascot. However, expect some decent minutes from…Vlatko Cancar if the Heat bench is outperforming Green, Brown and Braun. Cancar can guard Love and Robinson. Really this Nuggets bench goes how Bruce Brown goes. If he has a hot game on both ends, the bench looks unstoppable. If he withers like a winter flower then the Heat bench will dominate like they’ve done all year.
5 - The crowd, the altitude, the experience, the refs
Intangibles. The stuff numbers can’t measure. The Nuggets crowd will be loud, fired up and intense. The Heat crowd, not so much. They’ve been spoiled over the years, show up late and leave early. They do wear the white shirts though which looks nice but makes the empty seats even more noticeable.
Do players play worse at altitude? Short answer, yes. Long answer, it depends. The altitude will effect the Heat at the beginning and end of games. The biggest concern is dehydration which means keeping the Heat out of the club and focused on basketball. Heat culture will play a big role here with everyone, top to bottom, 100% ready for each game.
The Heat have much more experience in the Finals than the Nuggets. They have two NBA champions in the rotation in KLove and KLow, three if you count the corpse of Udonis Haslem. They also have a few returning from their 2020 bubble Finals against the Lakers where they lost a heartbreaker to an Anthony Davis fall away three. This grizzled Heat team will be angry and hungry but what else is new? Their Finals experience may end up being the overriding factor in this series, especially among the coaching staffs. The Heat will stay calm and collected even with the intensity through the roof.
Finally, the NBA’s middle management, the refs. Who does the NBA want to win? What will revenue more? This is a coin flip. With the Lakers, Knicks, Celtics and Warriors all on the couch, gone fishin’ or 1-2-3 Cancunin’, the refs will likely call this series as even as they can. A Jokic ring would be the icing on the cake for Eastern European basketball which hasn’t ever had an MVP champion.
So who ya got? The Nuggets in 5 seems like a solid bet at +225 against a hobbled Heat team. But if the Heat push it to six and get back home expect them to finish hard and force a game 7. Heat in 7 is +1000 and it’s tough to bet against them the way they’ve defied all odds.
2023.06.01 21:43 legalizedynamite Recently ordered a bra and trying to make it work
Hi, I know this is less than ideal to see(and post) as I've found a great fitting bra and understand the basic guidelines. My go-to bra at the moment is the Elomi Matilda: 40I US/ 40G UK. I've owned a bra from Livi through Lane Bryant for about a year now and their system it's a 40H but 40I US/40G UK in standard sizing. My old one fit me great and provided comfortable support. Lately I've been needing another one so I got a different bra in the same size and I swear to God the band is inches too big. I can fit my whole hand through it and I highly doubt it'll provide me much support for high impact activities because of this. I bought it on sale and I'm not sure I can make a return/exchange or if I can even afford to. Are there any tips you guys might have that can help me tighten the band or improve the fit without just scrapping the whole thing? Thank you in advance.
submitted by legalizedynamite to ABraThatFits [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 19:20 xEverAfter Honestly in love with this new top...
 | Top from SheIn; jeans, headband and jacket Lane Bryant, necklace was a handed down to me - my aunt wore it to her wedding. submitted by xEverAfter to PlusSizeFashion [link] [comments] |
2023.05.31 15:42 beeradmaliboo Went to get a Bra Fitting and now I’m completely confused
According to the measuring tool, I’m a US 42DDD/F and UK 42E/40 F.
I went to Lane Bryant/Cacique to purchase bras with my new measurements. I wasn’t intending on trying on any, but thank goodness my mom was with me and told me to just try them on to be sure.
Why did I end up trying on 7 different bras? 😔 The store associate decided to measure me midway through and said my measurements were indeed correct, but the different bras will fit different.
I ended up trying bras that ranged from a 40-42 band and DDD, F, and G cups.
None of them fit like my Curvy Kate Luxe Strapless bra or felt as comfortable as my Evelyn and Bobby bras (my literal 6 days a week bra).
The store associate shared 3 things:
My breast are pendulous and I think* the root is short. 🤔
I always thought they were full on the bottom since they’re flat on top, but when I did the fullness test, I definitely had more tissue above the nipple. (Though I do wonder if it’s fat and not tissue since I’ve gain weight in my boobs).
I’m thinking the “flatness” I’m referring to is what she means by “shallowness”. It’s become much more prominent since I’ve gained weight in my boobs. Traditional bras tend to always have a gap at the top.
So I guess my question is what types of bras should I be looking into? Is she right about the balconette?
I’m hesitant because none of the Cacique balconettes fit. I was either overflowing or had gaps at the top.
I fell in love with my Luxe Strapless because it fit me like a glove. But I know I the construction of that bra is unique because it is strapless.
I’d love to find regular bras that fit the same way.
submitted by beeradmaliboo to ABraThatFits [link] [comments]
I went to Lane Bryant/Cacique to purchase bras with my new measurements. I wasn’t intending on trying on any, but thank goodness my mom was with me and told me to just try them on to be sure.
Why did I end up trying on 7 different bras? 😔 The store associate decided to measure me midway through and said my measurements were indeed correct, but the different bras will fit different.
I ended up trying bras that ranged from a 40-42 band and DDD, F, and G cups.
None of them fit like my Curvy Kate Luxe Strapless bra or felt as comfortable as my Evelyn and Bobby bras (my literal 6 days a week bra).
The store associate shared 3 things:
- It looks like I’m in between sizes (which makes sense because I have gained weight)
- My breast are shallow on top and that’s why the full coverage bras always have gaps at the top.
- I should go down a cup size for full coverage bras or go for balconette bras.
My breast are pendulous and I think* the root is short. 🤔
I always thought they were full on the bottom since they’re flat on top, but when I did the fullness test, I definitely had more tissue above the nipple. (Though I do wonder if it’s fat and not tissue since I’ve gain weight in my boobs).
I’m thinking the “flatness” I’m referring to is what she means by “shallowness”. It’s become much more prominent since I’ve gained weight in my boobs. Traditional bras tend to always have a gap at the top.
So I guess my question is what types of bras should I be looking into? Is she right about the balconette?
I’m hesitant because none of the Cacique balconettes fit. I was either overflowing or had gaps at the top.
I fell in love with my Luxe Strapless because it fit me like a glove. But I know I the construction of that bra is unique because it is strapless.
I’d love to find regular bras that fit the same way.
2023.05.31 11:31 leiathegreenmile Lane Bryant Coupon Code for June 2023
Follow this link for Lane Bryant Coupon Code for June 2023. Access the latest deals and promotions by visiting the link, featuring a constantly updated list of coupons, promo codes, and discounts.
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2023.05.30 19:54 eyeinthesky24 Lane Bryant swim wear
Ok yall if your a plus size lane Bryant has all there swim wear buy one get one free
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2023.05.30 18:35 maybegoddess Setting realistic goals? What’s realistic?
F24; 351lbs
I just started taking my health seriously. I’ve attempted weight loss before, but something just feels different this time. I know I’m ready to stick with it and see it through.
I know one long term goal for myself is to be able to shop in the plus size section of straight sized stores (as of rn torrid and lane Bryant are my only in person options as a pant size 30), but small goals? What are some solid small goals to reach for someone at my size? How do I keep it realistic and not over reach and set myself up for failure?
submitted by maybegoddess to WeightLossAdvice [link] [comments]
I just started taking my health seriously. I’ve attempted weight loss before, but something just feels different this time. I know I’m ready to stick with it and see it through.
I know one long term goal for myself is to be able to shop in the plus size section of straight sized stores (as of rn torrid and lane Bryant are my only in person options as a pant size 30), but small goals? What are some solid small goals to reach for someone at my size? How do I keep it realistic and not over reach and set myself up for failure?
2023.05.29 10:18 FindhotdealsStores Lane Bryant $15 Off $15 Coupon
 | Enjoy $15 off your $15 purchase at Lane Bryant with this exclusive coupon. Shop trendy and stylish plus-size clothing at a discounted price. Don't miss out on this amazing deal: https://findhotdeals.com/lane-bryant submitted by FindhotdealsStores to u/FindhotdealsStores [link] [comments] Lane Bryant $15 Off $15 Coupon |
2023.05.29 05:44 HeadOfSpectre The Casanova
Even though I knew that it was probably just going to be a hookup, I still wanted to look nice. I spent a lot of time agonizing over the outfit that I’d wear. The black dress showed off some cleavage (not that I had much), but it didn’t really seem very me. The floral blouse and skirt combo on the other hand was much more my speed, but I didn’t know if it looked too frumpy or not. I didn’t really want to show up to my first casual hookup looking like somebody's grandmother.
Then there was the choice of underwear. I didn’t own anything that sexy, so I’d bought something just for the occasion. It was comfortable but I didn’t really know if it was me or not.
I guess if all went to plan, my clothes weren’t really going to matter, were they? They were probably going to be in a puddle on the floor pretty early into the night, but I still wanted to look sexy. I wanted to make a good impression! Maybe if I did, it might lead to something a little more lasting… I doubted it, but… well, a girl can dream, right?
I’ve never had a lot of luck with dating. Putting myself out there isn’t easy. I want to do it! But I just struggle. The moment I try to talk to someone, my voice dies in my throat and I immediately run out of things to say. I struggle to make eye contact. It’s not an attractive look. I’d always imagined that someday my love life would just work itself out and that I’d meet the perfect girl in some charming little meet cute. But by the time I was 32, it still hadn’t happened yet and I was starting to doubt that it ever would. I think that’s why the ad I saw a few weeks ago really got to me.
‘Life’s too short to wait for someday! You deserve to find someone! Sign up today and feel the butterflies!’
I’d seen worse advertisements for dating sites before, and considering the headspace I was in, signing up for another one didn’t seem like that bad of an idea. Besides, ‘Butterfly’ was supposed to connect queer girls to queer girls and well, I just so happened to be a queer girl so why not give it a try? It’s not like I had a lot to lose. Although I can’t say I did a whole lot better with online dating than I did with in person dating. I just never seemed to know what to say and most of the conversations I had fizzled out pretty quickly when I either got nervous or ran out of things to talk about. I’m an accountant with no social life. Unfortunately I’m exactly as boring as I sound.
Then I met Dominique… and she seemed to be able to do the talking for both of us.
I matched with her about a week or so after I’d joined up, although I admittedly didn’t think our conversation would last that long though. Dominique was pretty upfront about what she was looking for.
“I’m just in town for a few weeks. So I’m sorta looking for a summer fling, you know?”
Honestly, I didn’t know. I never really saw myself as a ‘summer fling’ kind of girl. But despite how clear she was on what she was looking for, Dominique was sweet, she was charming and she was easy to talk to, so I let things play out just to see where it went. I mean, I may be a socially awkward introvert but I’ve still got needs! And judging by her pictures, Dominique was a very good looking woman. She had the body of a goddess, tall and tanned with messy red hair, nice arms, and a full set of abs. And while I was pretty sure that she would snap me like a twig if she so much as put an arm around me, I still couldn’t say no to her.
When she’d asked if I wanted to meet for dinner yesterday, I hadn’t been able to stop myself and even though I knew that this was probably going to end in meaningless sex, I was okay with that. I ended up unable to pick an outfit and sent a picture of both to Dominique, asking which one she liked more.
She picked the skirt and blouse combo, so I went with that. Then, with my heart racing so fast that I could almost hear it and with my legs a little shaky in anticipation of just where this night might lead, I called an uber to take me to meet her.
***
“Dina! I’m so glad you could make it!”
The way that Dominique greeted me honestly made me blush a little. She already had a table at the restaurant and she stood up to pull a chair out for me. I don’t know how she pulled it off, but she was somehow even hotter in person, with sun kissed skin, hair tied back in a messy bun and warm smile that almost made me melt.
“Y-yeah, I’m sorry I’m late!” I said.
“It’s fine! I actually got here a little early,” She said. “I actually kinda love this restaurant. So I might have had a second reason to be excited for tonight!”
“You’ve been here before?” I asked.
“Yeah, my sisters and I always go whenever we’re in town. We love Thai. You ever been here before?”
“Once or twice,” I admitted, watching as she sat back down across from me. As she did, I noticed a tattoo on the back of her right hand. It sort of looked like the zodiac sign for Sagittarius, with the point of the arrow resting on the knuckle of her middle finger.
“You’re into astrology?” I asked.
“Oh? Yeah, kinda.” Dominique said, “It’s more of a family thing. My sisters and I all got one.”
“Sounds interesting, how many sisters have you got?” I asked.
“Twelve. One for each sign,” Dominique said caually, before correcting herself. “We’re technically not all related, it’s just sorta a… I dunno, like a found family kind of deal, you know? None of us really have anybody else, so we mostly just call each other sisters since it’s basically what we are, and we call our Mother our Mother because… well… you get the idea, right?”
“Found family?” I repeated, before stifling a laugh. “That actually sounds kinda wholesome.”
“Yeah, it is for the most part. We’ve been through a lot together. They mean the world to me,” Dominique said. “What about you? Got any family?”
“Eh, yes I don’t keep in touch with them,” I said. “My parents and I sorta stopped being on speaking terms after I came out of the closet… liking girls wasn’t part of ‘Gods Plan’ I guess.”
“Oh… I’m sorry to hear,” Dominique said softly. She reached over to put a hand over mine.
“It’s fine! They made their choice! If they never talk to me again, it’s their loss, really!” I said although I couldn’t hide the flush in my cheeks. “So… um… your family, do they…”
“They’re all pretty supportive. And I’m not the only one who’s not exactly straight,” Dominique replied. “One of my sisters even got married a few years back… Vera. She’s the Gemini, funnily enough. Now her wife is also Gemini. I mean, if the shoe fits, right?”
“Really? Sounds like you’ve got a very interesting family,” I said.
A waiter showed up and took our drink orders before she could reply to that. Dominique ordered herself a beer, I just got water. Alcohol never really agreed with me.
“So… do you do this kind of thing often?” I asked, when the waiter left.
“Dating? Yeah. I like meeting new people,” Dominique said. “You?”
I laughed nervously.
“Not really… this is… um… this is my first time out in about a year, actually. I’ve never really been good at this sort of thing and I’ve never really done anything… you know… casual, before…”
“Well hey, good on you for getting out of your comfort zone, a little!” Dominique said.
“Thanks… I’ve got to ask… these kinds of dates… I’m not implying I’m expecting you to do anything but… you mentioned… I…”
My words completely and utterly failed me at this point, and honestly, it was kinda impressive that I’d managed to last so long with her. But here was the inevitable moment where I went and royally fucked it all up. Good job, Dina!
Dominique just smiled at me, though as if my flustered babbling didn’t put her off in the slightest. Her hand was on top of mine again.
“Hey… we don’t need to do anything you’re not comfortable with, okay? If you just wanna have dinner, then we’re just gonna have dinner. We’ll see where the night goes, alright?”
“A-alright…” I squeaked, still not entirely convinced that I hadn’t just blown it with her. Her hand was comfortably cool on top of mine, and she gently ran her thumb over my knuckles.
I’d been half expecting her to be a little more… I don’t know… straightforward with what she wanted but she made me feel like she really cared about me! Like I really mattered to her! She made me feel so warm and soft and she made my heart race and I just wanted to kiss her and feel her arms around me and… oh God, I was so fucking red!
“Sorry, too much?” Dominique asked, lifting her hand away from mine.
“N-no! Just enough! Just fine! A-okay here!”
Was I coming on too strong? Was I not coming on strong enough? How exactly did I let this woman know that I was very interested in kissing her without coming across as a fucking psychopath? She just chuckled, although the waiter brought us our drinks before she could put her hand back over mine.
I may have drank my water a little too fast.
“So… you’re an accountant, right?” Dominique asked. “What’s that like?”
“Boring,” I said. “Really… really boring. I mean, I find it interesting. I’ve always sort of had a head for numbers and everything, but most people find it boring, I guess.”
Case in point, the people at the next table were leaving. Oh God, I hoped I hadn’t just ruined their dining experience. The people at the table behind us were leaving too, and I caught Dominique eying them warily before her attention returned to me.
“Well, maybe it’s not interesting to everyone but, we need people with a head for numbers in the world. My sister Claire’s always been like that. It’s part of why Mom has her running a lot of the family business. Me? I’m more personable. I do better in sales.”
“Is that why you’re in town?” I asked.
“Yeah, meeting up with a client. I probably shouldn’t get into the details, but it’s mostly just a distribution thing. I don’t really need the money, but I like to travel and I like to feel like I’m contributing, you know?”
“If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your family business?” I asked.
“Jewelry, clothes, fashion items. Stuff like that. It’s more of a luxury brand, I guess but it pays the bills. I’ve been looking for other oppotunities, though. I figure it might be time for a change of pace. Do something a little more… altruistic, I guess? I mean, jewlery really isn’t the business you get into when you want to save the world.”
“I guess not. What did you have in mind?”
“I dunno. Something… helpful…” Her voice trailed off as she watched the customers at another table quietly get up and leave. The restaurant wasn’t empty yet. But there were only a small handful of people left, sitting alone at a few tables. All of them men, all of them well dressed.
Something felt off about this… although I couldn’t exactly tell just what. It almost felt like the men in the restaurant were sitting there, watching us. Dominique looked around at them, before her attention shifted to a man coming out of the back of the restaurant. He appeared to be middle aged, with a full head of thick hair and a large moustache. He wore an expensive suit with a black vest underneath it, and a bolo tie. He sort of reminded me of a cowboy.
I saw Dominique’s eyes narrow, but she didn’t say a word.
“That’s funny…” The man said coolly, “Alturism ain’t really common in your kind.”
He stopped by our table, before fixing me in a cold glare that made my skin crawl.
“You’d best git, girl. Your date and I have some business.”
I looked back at Dominique, who looked more annoyed than intimidated.
“So can I not just have a night out… or is that against your religion, or something?” She asked.
“Your very existence is against my religion, vampire.” The Cowboy replied.
Vampire?
I looked over at Dominique. She looked like a lot of things, but a vampire wasn’t one of them! She sighed, and hardly seemed to notice as the other people in the restaurant who’d been watching us rose from their seats.
“You know what, my sister Claire told me that this was going to happen… she fucking told me. And you know what I said? I said that you guys wouldn’t be stupid enough to try anything, especially after the other recent ass beatings you got from her and Eris. But here I am, eating my words… good grief…”
Dominique shook her head before looking at me and putting on a sheepish smile.
“I’m so sorry about this!” She said, “I really didn’t think that this was going to happen. You should probably just go.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw one of the men surrounding us taking a gun out from his jacket, and felt my heart skip a beat.
They were here to kill her.
And for a moment the restaurant went silent.
They were waiting for me to leave… and it would have been so easy to do it. So easy to run, and let these men… these vampire hunters kill Dominique. I mean, if she really was some kind of creature of the night, that was probably what was best, right?
Right?
“Well?” The Cowboy said impatiently, “Get a move on, dyke!” I noticed a gun in his belt too.
I felt my entire body tense up… but I couldn’t make myself move. I couldn’t leave her to her fate.
I wouldn’t.
Whatever she was, in the short amount of time that I’d known her, she’d been nothing but sweet to me, nothing but kind and understanding and goddamnit even if she’d only done that to get me alone so she could feed on me… hell, I’d probably welcome it.
“N-no…” I said, “You leave her the heck alone!”
I caught Dominique raising an eyebrow as I stood up, looking the Cowboy dead in the eye. He looked moderately surprised, before looking back toward his companions and scoffing.
“Welp… you heard her boys. Looks like we’ve got collateral.”
I saw him go for the gun and felt my heart stop in my chest. It briefly dawned on me that I’d just tried to talk back to a man with a gun, and that this was about to go exactly as badly as expected.
But before he could even get the gun out of his holster, I saw a flash of movement. Dominique lunged at the man with almost blinding speed, grabbing him by the arm and slamming him down into the table between us. The Cowboy hit it hard enough for the table to actually break and he landed at my feet, still alive, but probably no longer entirely sure exactly what day of the week it was anymore.
I heard a few guns go off, but Dominique appeared between me and the shooters. I saw one of them collapse dead to the ground, his head burst open like a watermelon and I really should have been more horrified by that than I was.
“She’s a Di Cesare you idiot! Don’t shoot!” I heard someone else cry, although Dominique had moved to subdue the next man before they could do anything else.
She moved quickly, grabbing a bowl of pad thai off one of the empty tables and smashing it against his head, before using a shard of that same bowl to open the throat of the next man. They struggled to try and stop her, but Dominique was too fast. The next closest man was grabbed by the shirt and pulled toward her. She sank her fangs into his throat and immediately dispelled any lingering doubts I’d had that she was actually a vampire. She was very clearly drinking that mans blood, and when she was done she kicked him into the last two of his friends who were still standing.
“Somebody get the goddamn Malvian stake!” I heard one of them yell, and from the back, I saw two new men coming out, one of them holding something that looked like a stake made out of a pinkish ice. Dominique turned her head toward them, before grabbing one of the nearby chairs and hurling it at the men. Then, her mouth still covered in blood, she ran for me, grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the door.
I really wasn’t in any state of mind to fight her, considering the fact that I’d just found out that vampires were real, and watched one kick the shit out of an entire resturant in the span of about three minutes. As Dominique pulled me down the street, toward a sporty red Dodge Challenger, I barely even had time to adjust my glasses before she’d unlocked the doors and was getting inside.
“C’mon, they’re gonna be following us,” She said.
I blinked in mild disbelief at the absolutely madness that had just seemed to happen around me before realizing that my legs were already carrying me into the passenger seat of Dominique’s car. The engine roared to life, as she tore out onto the street, while Guns and Roses screamed out over the speakers.
Five minutes ago, this had not been the direction I’d figured that this date would go in.
It’s amazing what can happen in five minutes.
I looked out through the rear view window to see the men that Dominique hadn’t just killed shuffling out of the resturant, onto the street. The Cowboy was among them, and I saw him staring at our car as we sped away.
“Sorry about this,” Dominique said. “I really, really didn’t think these jokers would actually have the balls to take a run at me.”
“Who the heck even are those people?” I asked.
“Oh, just some assholes. Long story short… they think they’re the Knights Templar and really hate anything that’s not human,” Dominique said. “They’re not a big fan of a lot of humans either… and my family may or may not have a four hundred year long blood fued with them.”
“Oh…” I said, “Is that all? The rest of your family, you’re all… you’re all…”
“Vampires? Yeah. Sorry… it’s not really the sort of thing you bring up on a first date,” Dominique said, sounding a little embarrassed. “Technically, my sisters and I are a cut above your average vampire. We were actually witches first. The vampirism came later. It’s sorta a whole thing… I can tell you about it later, if you want.”
“A vampire witch…” I said, trying to wrap my head around exactly what the hell that was. I couldn’t so I gave up and tried to focus on another one of the millions of questions racing through my mind.
“Were you going to eat me?”
“What?” Dominique asked, “No! I mean… okay, to be fair I probably would have asked after I told you I was a vampire. But just so we’re clear, no. I don’t really feed on the girls I date unless they tell me I can. It’s sort of an ethics thing, you know?”
“So where do you normally get your blood?” I asked, a little bit suspicious of that answer (and for good reason.)
“I mean, lots of different ways. There’s a lot of us out there, you know? Thousands at least. Maybe even millions. We’ve got infrastructure. It reduces the need to hunt. Gives us access to either living donors, or blood from a source that’s reasonably fresh. I guess most of us do still hunt for fun, and so long as we don’t leave bodies we don’t really get in any trouble for it. But I generally prefer something a little more personal.”
She looked over at me and took note of the look of utter confusion on my face.
“I’m probably not explaining this all that well, am I?” She asked.
“I have no idea,” I replied honestly, “So… you’re not going to kill me, then?”
“No Dina, I’m not going to kill you… hell, I’m actually kinda impressed! That was pretty ballsy of you, standing your ground back there!”
I had no answer for her as to why I’d done that, and I may have just caught myself mindlessly blushing again.
From the corner of my eye, I noticed a pair of SUV’s coming up behind us in the side view mirror and looked back at them. They weaved violently through traffic, trying desperately to catch up to us and though I couldn’t see through the tinted windows, I knew who was behind the wheel.
“Jeez… they’re really determined today…” Dominique said under her breath.
“Why exactly do these people hate you again?” I asked.
“About four hundred years ago they tried to kill my sisters and me for being witches, and we kinda responded by becoming vampires… then after they killed one of us, we may have killed a bunch of them in turn, and they never really got over it,” She said. “Like I said, it’s a whole thing.”
“Yeah… clearly…”
“I’m kinda impressed that they’re still trying. My sisters and I went out of our way to be hard to kill,” Dominique said. “We kinda cursed ourselves, so that anytime someone wounds us, they get hurt instead. Attribution on the spell can be a little sketchy at times, but it works for the most part. Although that stake they had looked like it’d cut right through the spell… guess they’ve gotten smarter.”
The SUV’s were catching up and Dominique watched them closely as they drew closer.
“So, they can’t kill you without that stake, right?” I asked, hoping that meant that we weren’t actually in any danger.
Dominique’s brow remained furrowed.
“I mean it would help… dunno if the spell would help me survive a car wreck, though.”
Her tone implied that she was starting to have second thoughts about the whole ‘getting into a car and driving away from them’ plan.
“I don’t suppose you know any witchy things that will get rid of them?” I asked.
“I just might…” She replied, “Here, take the wheel for a moment.”
“W-what?”
She didn’t wait for me to take the wheel, she just let it go and forced me to grab it. I watched as Dominique bit down hard on her finger, drawing blood before reaching up toward the windshield to start drawing some sort of sigil on the glass in her own blood.
I kept my eyes on the road, trying to keep us from hitting any of the cars we passed, so I didn’t get a particularly good look at the sigil.
“What’s that supposed to do?” I asked although Dominique didn’t respond to me.
The streetlights that we passed started to flicker violently. I watched as Dominique pressed her hand into the center of the sigil, before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. The streetlights around us dimmed, then grew brighter, almost to the point where they were blinding.
“Bruciare,” I heard her say under her breath.
The lights grew even brighter, before one by one they started to burst. The explosions from them were blinding, as sparks showered down on the road around us. I heard something that sounded a little bit like a deafening thunderclap, but I couldn’t see a thing! I felt Dominique grabbing the steering wheel from me as we veered into another lane. I looked back to see what was left of one of the SUV’s sailing through a shower of sparks, its cabin looked as if it had exploded, with little left of it but twisted metal and angry flames.
Dominique smirked as she saw the totaled SUV, before focusing on the road again.
"Electrical rune. Hell of a shock, right?" Dominique said.
Oh, so the magical vampire just deep-fried the religious Knights chasing us with lightning. That was all. I mean, I might have thought it was a little too much but clearly all logic had gone out the window now and insanity had taken hold. I briefly wondered if perhaps I was actually just hallucinating all of this and drooling on the table back at the Thai restaurant while the real Dominique called for a doctor. Or maybe I'd just embarrassed myself so badly that I'd gone completely mad and this was all simply my delusion with which to escape from reality. Who could say, really?
I saw the second SUV weaving through traffic behind us. I guess watching their friend explode hadn't dissuaded the driver at all, since they were still coming right for us. Dominique's eyes were on the road. I didn't know if she'd noticed them or not. The SUV sped closer to us before suddenly slamming into our side and the entire car lurched violently as Dominique tried to right it.
"Asshole!" She spat. "Dina, the wheel!"
This time I was ready. I grabbed the wheel as Dominique prepared another rune. The SUV was coming to ram us again. They dipped into oncoming traffic to build some distance between us, before suddenly veering closer to try and ram us again.
I jerked the wheel to the side, slamming Dominique's car into the SUV before it could hit us and keeping them on the wrong side of the road. Even through the tinted windows, I could see the driver glaring at me... and it wasn't until the last second that he saw the oncoming truck I'd seen about a minute ago. I actually heard him screaming from inside his car the instant before the truck hit him.
I wasn't really sure how to feel about that and decided that I'd probably need to process the complex emotions that come with having just killed a man later.
Dominique was looking at me with a look of utter bewilderment. She looked back at the truck, then back to me.
"You said to take the wheel!" I said!
"Yes... Yes. I did." She replied, before taking the wheel back from me. She took a hard turn onto a new, slightly less busy road. Around us, I could see some quiet warehouses, telling me we'd ended up in the more industrial part of town.
For a moment, everything was quiet, and we sat there in silence, my heart still racing from experiencing my first ever car chase.
"So… I'm guessing you just want me to drop you off somewhere, huh?" Dominique asked.
"Actually…I could still really go for something to eat," I said quietly just embracing the madness. I was hungry. I had not eaten yet. Might as well fix that!
"Wait, really?" Dominique asked. "Well… shit, what's around then?"
"I'm really not picky," I said. "What do vampires eat?"
"Whatever we want. The blood is more of a nutritional thing. We only really need it every few days or so We still need to eat otherwise."
"Really?" I asked, "So what happens if you don't drink blood?"
"You basically just waste away," She said, "And usually you go a little bit crazy… it's never happened to me, but I've heard things. It's not pretty."
"Jesus… yeah, that does sound pretty awful," I said. "Wait, was Jesus real?"
Dominique shrugged.
"I dunno. I'm only about 400 years old, give or take. Christianity was a thing long before I was born."
"Right… sorry," I said.
"It's alright! I can tell you a lot about the history of Venice and Brazil though!"
I was about to take her up on that when I noticed a new set of headlights behind us.
"Oh hell… are there more of them?" I asked, almost exasperated at this point.
"Seriously, how many people do they have?" Dominique asked, "This is getting stupid!”
“How do you deal with this on a daily basis?” I asked.
“Funnily enough we don’t, they usually leave us alone. I heard that somebody’s jonesing for a promotion though and figured they’d take another crack at us… guess they forgot how badly all of their previous attempts went.”
The final SUV sped closer to us, and Dominique pumped the brakes, letting him shoot past us. She jerked the wheel hard, pulling into the parking lot of some nearby warehouse, and I saw the SUV desperately trying to make a U turn. I clamped onto the passenger side grab handle (I didn’t actually know what they were called before I sat down to write this. I’ve always called them the ‘Oh Jesus Handle’) as Dominique did a donut, spinning her damaged car to face the entrance to the parking lot she’d just entered. She watched intently as the SUV followed her in, before revving her engine like a complete and total psychopath and rocketing toward the SUV.
Normally I would have voiced some concern over her absolutely reckless driving skills, but at this point all I could really say was something that sounded a little like: “OHMYGAWHA ARE OH GAAAAAHHH!”
The SUV jerked to the side, trying to avoid being hit by Dominique, who turned her wheel suddenly, doing a wide donut around the SUV. Her tires squealed against the asphalt as the SUV tried to avoid her, heading toward the factory before making another hard U Turn to try and face us again. I could see some muzzle flashes through the SUV’s window and heard the sound of bullets striking the body of the car. One of them must have hit a tire, since Dominique seemed to suddenly lose control and the overpowering smell of burning rubber filled my nostrils. The car spun, and Dominique gripped the wheel tightly, trying to control it. She looked up at the SUV, which was coming around to ram us.
Her eyes narrowed.
“Out,” She said.
“But what about-”
“Out!”
Before I could say a word of protest, she’d hit the brakes, stopping her spin.
“Go!”
The SUV was speeding toward us. I didn’t want to leave her, but every self-preservation instinct I had was telling me to move! I looked Dominique in the eye. She had a stern, somewhat determined expression. I trusted that she knew what she was doing.
I mean, I don’t think I really had a choice but to trust that she knew what she was doing… I got out of the car, running as fast as my legs would let me as Dominique sped away.
The SUV followed her, veering to pursue her as her battered car tried to circle around the SUV again. The destroyed front tire of her car smoked and screamed against the asphalt as she made a hard turn, letting her car fishtail. The rear end of it slammed into the front of the SUV, sending it slightly off course, toward the warehouse.
Dominique hit the gas again, driving up alongside the SUV and slamming her car against theirs, trying to force them toward the wall. The SUV tried to turn, but couldn’t do so fast enough.
Both cars hit the wall and crumpled.
I felt my breath catch in my throat.
For a few moments, everything went silent. I stared at the cars, waiting for some kind of movement… and when the door of the SUV opened, I felt my heart sink.
I watched as the Cowboy dragged himself out of the drivers seat, before his legs gave out from under him. He collapsed onto the pavement, breathing heavily before trying to pick himself up. His hat tumbled off of his head, and he paused to grab it, before gripping the side of his totaled SUV to try and stand again. I saw his eyes shift toward me, although he didn’t say a word. We stood there for a moment, staring at each other from across the parking lot before he reached back into his car and took out the stake I’d seen earlier. The one that Dominique said could probably kill her.
He looked back at me, before limping around the back of his SUV, heading for Dominique’s car.
I was running for him before I even knew what I was doing. I grabbed at his jacket, trying to hold him back, stop him from getting closer to her. He growled in frustration before slapping me hard across the cheek and sending me crashing to the ground.
“Enough!” He snarled, “Enough…”
He glared down at me, and for a moment I thought he was going to use that stake on me.
But he didn’t.
“I don’t know what the hell you think you’re trying to protect, girl… but that thing in there… that isn’t a goddamn person. It’s a fucking plague. I dunno why you motherfuckers try and defend these things. They ain’t human! They ain’t people! Not anymore. Killing it… it’s God’s work, girl. And you don’t stand in the way of God’s work. You understand that? He always wins, girl. God. Wins.”
“Fuck God…” I rasped, trying to pick myself up again. “A-and fuck you, Mister!”
The Cowboy just laughed breathlessly.
“Ah hell… welp, shoulda known better than trying to reason with stupid, I guess.” He said, before taking a step toward me. I stumbled back, as his gaze fixated on me with a single minded, murderous dedication.
Dominique’s engine roared to life. The Cowboy froze, looking back at it with wide, terrified eyes. I took the opportunity to run, getting out of the way before Dominique’s car jerked backward, slamming into the Cowboy and sending him back to the ground with a cry of pain. Dominique’s car door flew open, and I watched as she stumbled out. Blood trickled from the corner of her mouth and she had a few minor cuts on her face from where her windshield had shattered. Her hair was a mess.
But she was alive.
“Leave the girl alone… jackass…” She spat, as her car door came off entirely.
The Cowboy brandished the stake he had at her, holding it between them as if it was going to shoot out some kind of death beam that would instantly kill her. Although he didn’t seem to have the strength to actually use it. Dominique stared down at him, before looking back at her fallen car door and grabbing it, dragging it toward him.
The Cowboy watched as she came, and I saw a grim resignation settle over his face.
“There’s gonna be more of us, Di Cesare…” He hissed, “So long as your motherfuckin’ family is still alive, we will never stop coming for you. You hear me? God wins, vampire! God… wins…”
“Yeah, you guys have done great so far. This is the closest you’ve come in what, over 200 years? Nice work. I’m sure God’s gonna be real proud of you,” Dominique huffed as she approached. She gingerly kicked the stake out of the Cowboy’s hand. He meekly tried to reach for it, although I grabbed it off the ground, keeping it away from him as Dominique stood over him with the car door.
He looked up at her, trying to remain composed but I could still clearly see the terror in his eyes.
“Hail Satan, asshole,” Dominique replied, before lifting the car door and bringing it down hard on his head. I didn’t watch as she killed him. But I heard his skull cracking and from the corner of my eye, I saw his body twitch before going limp.
Dominique tossed the broken piece of the car door aside, before looking down at the body, and giving an exhausted sigh. She looked back at her totaled car, frowning and taking a moment to quietly mourn it before leaning against it and letting out an exhausted groan.
After a moment, I stepped over the body of the man she’d just killed and stood beside her.
“So… wanna go back to my place?” I asked, looking up at her.
Dominique looked back over at me, and for a moment we just sort of stared at each other.
***
About thirty minutes later, I was back at my apartment, on my back with Dominique on top of me, having the most intense orgasm of my life. My fingernails dug into her back as she kissed me over and over again. I could still taste my own blood on her lips but I didn’t care. I could see stars and there wasn’t a single coherent thought in my mind.
I vaguely remember screaming her name as she sank her teeth into me again, and oh God, why did nobody tell me that getting bit by a vampire felt so fucking good?
I felt a little dizzy, but in a good way as Dominique kissed the small bite mark she’d left on my neck. My entire body trembled as she lifted her hand from between my legs, smiling knowingly as she kissed me one more time. I held her close, losing myself completely in this moment, and savoring the sensation of her arms wrapping around me. It was exactly as nice as I’d hoped it would be, and as we basked in the afterglow of what had easily just been the best sex of my life, I felt content.
Dominique kissed me on the head, before checking on the bite mark again.
“Still doing okay?” She whispered to me.
“Y-yuh…” Was the only response that I was really able to get out.
“Good.”
She kissed me again before playing with my hair and fixing my glasses, chuckling softly as she did. I curled up beside her. Her body was cool to the touch, but she pulled the blanket over us so we’d be warm. I closed my eyes, feeling sleep calling me and quietly wished that Dominique would be staying in town for a little bit longer.
Oh well.
I had every intention of making the most of our time together.
***
It’s been about a week after Dominique left, and since then I’ve found myself back on Butterfly. I didn’t think I’d have much success there… especially after what happened with Dominique, but strangely it’s been going pretty good, lately. It’s hard to say what’s changed about me, but I’m finding that I’m having an easier time talking to people lately.
I guess once you’ve survived a car chase with a bunch of religious fanatics, talking to strangers online doesn’t seem as scary anymore.
I’ve even got another date lined up for tonight! Her name is Piper, and while I don’t think it’s going to be as crazy as my first date with Dominique was, I’ve still got a good feeling about it. For the first time in a while, I feel like things are going to work out for me.
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Then there was the choice of underwear. I didn’t own anything that sexy, so I’d bought something just for the occasion. It was comfortable but I didn’t really know if it was me or not.
I guess if all went to plan, my clothes weren’t really going to matter, were they? They were probably going to be in a puddle on the floor pretty early into the night, but I still wanted to look sexy. I wanted to make a good impression! Maybe if I did, it might lead to something a little more lasting… I doubted it, but… well, a girl can dream, right?
I’ve never had a lot of luck with dating. Putting myself out there isn’t easy. I want to do it! But I just struggle. The moment I try to talk to someone, my voice dies in my throat and I immediately run out of things to say. I struggle to make eye contact. It’s not an attractive look. I’d always imagined that someday my love life would just work itself out and that I’d meet the perfect girl in some charming little meet cute. But by the time I was 32, it still hadn’t happened yet and I was starting to doubt that it ever would. I think that’s why the ad I saw a few weeks ago really got to me.
‘Life’s too short to wait for someday! You deserve to find someone! Sign up today and feel the butterflies!’
I’d seen worse advertisements for dating sites before, and considering the headspace I was in, signing up for another one didn’t seem like that bad of an idea. Besides, ‘Butterfly’ was supposed to connect queer girls to queer girls and well, I just so happened to be a queer girl so why not give it a try? It’s not like I had a lot to lose. Although I can’t say I did a whole lot better with online dating than I did with in person dating. I just never seemed to know what to say and most of the conversations I had fizzled out pretty quickly when I either got nervous or ran out of things to talk about. I’m an accountant with no social life. Unfortunately I’m exactly as boring as I sound.
Then I met Dominique… and she seemed to be able to do the talking for both of us.
I matched with her about a week or so after I’d joined up, although I admittedly didn’t think our conversation would last that long though. Dominique was pretty upfront about what she was looking for.
“I’m just in town for a few weeks. So I’m sorta looking for a summer fling, you know?”
Honestly, I didn’t know. I never really saw myself as a ‘summer fling’ kind of girl. But despite how clear she was on what she was looking for, Dominique was sweet, she was charming and she was easy to talk to, so I let things play out just to see where it went. I mean, I may be a socially awkward introvert but I’ve still got needs! And judging by her pictures, Dominique was a very good looking woman. She had the body of a goddess, tall and tanned with messy red hair, nice arms, and a full set of abs. And while I was pretty sure that she would snap me like a twig if she so much as put an arm around me, I still couldn’t say no to her.
When she’d asked if I wanted to meet for dinner yesterday, I hadn’t been able to stop myself and even though I knew that this was probably going to end in meaningless sex, I was okay with that. I ended up unable to pick an outfit and sent a picture of both to Dominique, asking which one she liked more.
She picked the skirt and blouse combo, so I went with that. Then, with my heart racing so fast that I could almost hear it and with my legs a little shaky in anticipation of just where this night might lead, I called an uber to take me to meet her.
***
“Dina! I’m so glad you could make it!”
The way that Dominique greeted me honestly made me blush a little. She already had a table at the restaurant and she stood up to pull a chair out for me. I don’t know how she pulled it off, but she was somehow even hotter in person, with sun kissed skin, hair tied back in a messy bun and warm smile that almost made me melt.
“Y-yeah, I’m sorry I’m late!” I said.
“It’s fine! I actually got here a little early,” She said. “I actually kinda love this restaurant. So I might have had a second reason to be excited for tonight!”
“You’ve been here before?” I asked.
“Yeah, my sisters and I always go whenever we’re in town. We love Thai. You ever been here before?”
“Once or twice,” I admitted, watching as she sat back down across from me. As she did, I noticed a tattoo on the back of her right hand. It sort of looked like the zodiac sign for Sagittarius, with the point of the arrow resting on the knuckle of her middle finger.
“You’re into astrology?” I asked.
“Oh? Yeah, kinda.” Dominique said, “It’s more of a family thing. My sisters and I all got one.”
“Sounds interesting, how many sisters have you got?” I asked.
“Twelve. One for each sign,” Dominique said caually, before correcting herself. “We’re technically not all related, it’s just sorta a… I dunno, like a found family kind of deal, you know? None of us really have anybody else, so we mostly just call each other sisters since it’s basically what we are, and we call our Mother our Mother because… well… you get the idea, right?”
“Found family?” I repeated, before stifling a laugh. “That actually sounds kinda wholesome.”
“Yeah, it is for the most part. We’ve been through a lot together. They mean the world to me,” Dominique said. “What about you? Got any family?”
“Eh, yes I don’t keep in touch with them,” I said. “My parents and I sorta stopped being on speaking terms after I came out of the closet… liking girls wasn’t part of ‘Gods Plan’ I guess.”
“Oh… I’m sorry to hear,” Dominique said softly. She reached over to put a hand over mine.
“It’s fine! They made their choice! If they never talk to me again, it’s their loss, really!” I said although I couldn’t hide the flush in my cheeks. “So… um… your family, do they…”
“They’re all pretty supportive. And I’m not the only one who’s not exactly straight,” Dominique replied. “One of my sisters even got married a few years back… Vera. She’s the Gemini, funnily enough. Now her wife is also Gemini. I mean, if the shoe fits, right?”
“Really? Sounds like you’ve got a very interesting family,” I said.
A waiter showed up and took our drink orders before she could reply to that. Dominique ordered herself a beer, I just got water. Alcohol never really agreed with me.
“So… do you do this kind of thing often?” I asked, when the waiter left.
“Dating? Yeah. I like meeting new people,” Dominique said. “You?”
I laughed nervously.
“Not really… this is… um… this is my first time out in about a year, actually. I’ve never really been good at this sort of thing and I’ve never really done anything… you know… casual, before…”
“Well hey, good on you for getting out of your comfort zone, a little!” Dominique said.
“Thanks… I’ve got to ask… these kinds of dates… I’m not implying I’m expecting you to do anything but… you mentioned… I…”
My words completely and utterly failed me at this point, and honestly, it was kinda impressive that I’d managed to last so long with her. But here was the inevitable moment where I went and royally fucked it all up. Good job, Dina!
Dominique just smiled at me, though as if my flustered babbling didn’t put her off in the slightest. Her hand was on top of mine again.
“Hey… we don’t need to do anything you’re not comfortable with, okay? If you just wanna have dinner, then we’re just gonna have dinner. We’ll see where the night goes, alright?”
“A-alright…” I squeaked, still not entirely convinced that I hadn’t just blown it with her. Her hand was comfortably cool on top of mine, and she gently ran her thumb over my knuckles.
I’d been half expecting her to be a little more… I don’t know… straightforward with what she wanted but she made me feel like she really cared about me! Like I really mattered to her! She made me feel so warm and soft and she made my heart race and I just wanted to kiss her and feel her arms around me and… oh God, I was so fucking red!
“Sorry, too much?” Dominique asked, lifting her hand away from mine.
“N-no! Just enough! Just fine! A-okay here!”
Was I coming on too strong? Was I not coming on strong enough? How exactly did I let this woman know that I was very interested in kissing her without coming across as a fucking psychopath? She just chuckled, although the waiter brought us our drinks before she could put her hand back over mine.
I may have drank my water a little too fast.
“So… you’re an accountant, right?” Dominique asked. “What’s that like?”
“Boring,” I said. “Really… really boring. I mean, I find it interesting. I’ve always sort of had a head for numbers and everything, but most people find it boring, I guess.”
Case in point, the people at the next table were leaving. Oh God, I hoped I hadn’t just ruined their dining experience. The people at the table behind us were leaving too, and I caught Dominique eying them warily before her attention returned to me.
“Well, maybe it’s not interesting to everyone but, we need people with a head for numbers in the world. My sister Claire’s always been like that. It’s part of why Mom has her running a lot of the family business. Me? I’m more personable. I do better in sales.”
“Is that why you’re in town?” I asked.
“Yeah, meeting up with a client. I probably shouldn’t get into the details, but it’s mostly just a distribution thing. I don’t really need the money, but I like to travel and I like to feel like I’m contributing, you know?”
“If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your family business?” I asked.
“Jewelry, clothes, fashion items. Stuff like that. It’s more of a luxury brand, I guess but it pays the bills. I’ve been looking for other oppotunities, though. I figure it might be time for a change of pace. Do something a little more… altruistic, I guess? I mean, jewlery really isn’t the business you get into when you want to save the world.”
“I guess not. What did you have in mind?”
“I dunno. Something… helpful…” Her voice trailed off as she watched the customers at another table quietly get up and leave. The restaurant wasn’t empty yet. But there were only a small handful of people left, sitting alone at a few tables. All of them men, all of them well dressed.
Something felt off about this… although I couldn’t exactly tell just what. It almost felt like the men in the restaurant were sitting there, watching us. Dominique looked around at them, before her attention shifted to a man coming out of the back of the restaurant. He appeared to be middle aged, with a full head of thick hair and a large moustache. He wore an expensive suit with a black vest underneath it, and a bolo tie. He sort of reminded me of a cowboy.
I saw Dominique’s eyes narrow, but she didn’t say a word.
“That’s funny…” The man said coolly, “Alturism ain’t really common in your kind.”
He stopped by our table, before fixing me in a cold glare that made my skin crawl.
“You’d best git, girl. Your date and I have some business.”
I looked back at Dominique, who looked more annoyed than intimidated.
“So can I not just have a night out… or is that against your religion, or something?” She asked.
“Your very existence is against my religion, vampire.” The Cowboy replied.
Vampire?
I looked over at Dominique. She looked like a lot of things, but a vampire wasn’t one of them! She sighed, and hardly seemed to notice as the other people in the restaurant who’d been watching us rose from their seats.
“You know what, my sister Claire told me that this was going to happen… she fucking told me. And you know what I said? I said that you guys wouldn’t be stupid enough to try anything, especially after the other recent ass beatings you got from her and Eris. But here I am, eating my words… good grief…”
Dominique shook her head before looking at me and putting on a sheepish smile.
“I’m so sorry about this!” She said, “I really didn’t think that this was going to happen. You should probably just go.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw one of the men surrounding us taking a gun out from his jacket, and felt my heart skip a beat.
They were here to kill her.
And for a moment the restaurant went silent.
They were waiting for me to leave… and it would have been so easy to do it. So easy to run, and let these men… these vampire hunters kill Dominique. I mean, if she really was some kind of creature of the night, that was probably what was best, right?
Right?
“Well?” The Cowboy said impatiently, “Get a move on, dyke!” I noticed a gun in his belt too.
I felt my entire body tense up… but I couldn’t make myself move. I couldn’t leave her to her fate.
I wouldn’t.
Whatever she was, in the short amount of time that I’d known her, she’d been nothing but sweet to me, nothing but kind and understanding and goddamnit even if she’d only done that to get me alone so she could feed on me… hell, I’d probably welcome it.
“N-no…” I said, “You leave her the heck alone!”
I caught Dominique raising an eyebrow as I stood up, looking the Cowboy dead in the eye. He looked moderately surprised, before looking back toward his companions and scoffing.
“Welp… you heard her boys. Looks like we’ve got collateral.”
I saw him go for the gun and felt my heart stop in my chest. It briefly dawned on me that I’d just tried to talk back to a man with a gun, and that this was about to go exactly as badly as expected.
But before he could even get the gun out of his holster, I saw a flash of movement. Dominique lunged at the man with almost blinding speed, grabbing him by the arm and slamming him down into the table between us. The Cowboy hit it hard enough for the table to actually break and he landed at my feet, still alive, but probably no longer entirely sure exactly what day of the week it was anymore.
I heard a few guns go off, but Dominique appeared between me and the shooters. I saw one of them collapse dead to the ground, his head burst open like a watermelon and I really should have been more horrified by that than I was.
“She’s a Di Cesare you idiot! Don’t shoot!” I heard someone else cry, although Dominique had moved to subdue the next man before they could do anything else.
She moved quickly, grabbing a bowl of pad thai off one of the empty tables and smashing it against his head, before using a shard of that same bowl to open the throat of the next man. They struggled to try and stop her, but Dominique was too fast. The next closest man was grabbed by the shirt and pulled toward her. She sank her fangs into his throat and immediately dispelled any lingering doubts I’d had that she was actually a vampire. She was very clearly drinking that mans blood, and when she was done she kicked him into the last two of his friends who were still standing.
“Somebody get the goddamn Malvian stake!” I heard one of them yell, and from the back, I saw two new men coming out, one of them holding something that looked like a stake made out of a pinkish ice. Dominique turned her head toward them, before grabbing one of the nearby chairs and hurling it at the men. Then, her mouth still covered in blood, she ran for me, grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the door.
I really wasn’t in any state of mind to fight her, considering the fact that I’d just found out that vampires were real, and watched one kick the shit out of an entire resturant in the span of about three minutes. As Dominique pulled me down the street, toward a sporty red Dodge Challenger, I barely even had time to adjust my glasses before she’d unlocked the doors and was getting inside.
“C’mon, they’re gonna be following us,” She said.
I blinked in mild disbelief at the absolutely madness that had just seemed to happen around me before realizing that my legs were already carrying me into the passenger seat of Dominique’s car. The engine roared to life, as she tore out onto the street, while Guns and Roses screamed out over the speakers.
Five minutes ago, this had not been the direction I’d figured that this date would go in.
It’s amazing what can happen in five minutes.
I looked out through the rear view window to see the men that Dominique hadn’t just killed shuffling out of the resturant, onto the street. The Cowboy was among them, and I saw him staring at our car as we sped away.
“Sorry about this,” Dominique said. “I really, really didn’t think these jokers would actually have the balls to take a run at me.”
“Who the heck even are those people?” I asked.
“Oh, just some assholes. Long story short… they think they’re the Knights Templar and really hate anything that’s not human,” Dominique said. “They’re not a big fan of a lot of humans either… and my family may or may not have a four hundred year long blood fued with them.”
“Oh…” I said, “Is that all? The rest of your family, you’re all… you’re all…”
“Vampires? Yeah. Sorry… it’s not really the sort of thing you bring up on a first date,” Dominique said, sounding a little embarrassed. “Technically, my sisters and I are a cut above your average vampire. We were actually witches first. The vampirism came later. It’s sorta a whole thing… I can tell you about it later, if you want.”
“A vampire witch…” I said, trying to wrap my head around exactly what the hell that was. I couldn’t so I gave up and tried to focus on another one of the millions of questions racing through my mind.
“Were you going to eat me?”
“What?” Dominique asked, “No! I mean… okay, to be fair I probably would have asked after I told you I was a vampire. But just so we’re clear, no. I don’t really feed on the girls I date unless they tell me I can. It’s sort of an ethics thing, you know?”
“So where do you normally get your blood?” I asked, a little bit suspicious of that answer (and for good reason.)
“I mean, lots of different ways. There’s a lot of us out there, you know? Thousands at least. Maybe even millions. We’ve got infrastructure. It reduces the need to hunt. Gives us access to either living donors, or blood from a source that’s reasonably fresh. I guess most of us do still hunt for fun, and so long as we don’t leave bodies we don’t really get in any trouble for it. But I generally prefer something a little more personal.”
She looked over at me and took note of the look of utter confusion on my face.
“I’m probably not explaining this all that well, am I?” She asked.
“I have no idea,” I replied honestly, “So… you’re not going to kill me, then?”
“No Dina, I’m not going to kill you… hell, I’m actually kinda impressed! That was pretty ballsy of you, standing your ground back there!”
I had no answer for her as to why I’d done that, and I may have just caught myself mindlessly blushing again.
From the corner of my eye, I noticed a pair of SUV’s coming up behind us in the side view mirror and looked back at them. They weaved violently through traffic, trying desperately to catch up to us and though I couldn’t see through the tinted windows, I knew who was behind the wheel.
“Jeez… they’re really determined today…” Dominique said under her breath.
“Why exactly do these people hate you again?” I asked.
“About four hundred years ago they tried to kill my sisters and me for being witches, and we kinda responded by becoming vampires… then after they killed one of us, we may have killed a bunch of them in turn, and they never really got over it,” She said. “Like I said, it’s a whole thing.”
“Yeah… clearly…”
“I’m kinda impressed that they’re still trying. My sisters and I went out of our way to be hard to kill,” Dominique said. “We kinda cursed ourselves, so that anytime someone wounds us, they get hurt instead. Attribution on the spell can be a little sketchy at times, but it works for the most part. Although that stake they had looked like it’d cut right through the spell… guess they’ve gotten smarter.”
The SUV’s were catching up and Dominique watched them closely as they drew closer.
“So, they can’t kill you without that stake, right?” I asked, hoping that meant that we weren’t actually in any danger.
Dominique’s brow remained furrowed.
“I mean it would help… dunno if the spell would help me survive a car wreck, though.”
Her tone implied that she was starting to have second thoughts about the whole ‘getting into a car and driving away from them’ plan.
“I don’t suppose you know any witchy things that will get rid of them?” I asked.
“I just might…” She replied, “Here, take the wheel for a moment.”
“W-what?”
She didn’t wait for me to take the wheel, she just let it go and forced me to grab it. I watched as Dominique bit down hard on her finger, drawing blood before reaching up toward the windshield to start drawing some sort of sigil on the glass in her own blood.
I kept my eyes on the road, trying to keep us from hitting any of the cars we passed, so I didn’t get a particularly good look at the sigil.
“What’s that supposed to do?” I asked although Dominique didn’t respond to me.
The streetlights that we passed started to flicker violently. I watched as Dominique pressed her hand into the center of the sigil, before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. The streetlights around us dimmed, then grew brighter, almost to the point where they were blinding.
“Bruciare,” I heard her say under her breath.
The lights grew even brighter, before one by one they started to burst. The explosions from them were blinding, as sparks showered down on the road around us. I heard something that sounded a little bit like a deafening thunderclap, but I couldn’t see a thing! I felt Dominique grabbing the steering wheel from me as we veered into another lane. I looked back to see what was left of one of the SUV’s sailing through a shower of sparks, its cabin looked as if it had exploded, with little left of it but twisted metal and angry flames.
Dominique smirked as she saw the totaled SUV, before focusing on the road again.
"Electrical rune. Hell of a shock, right?" Dominique said.
Oh, so the magical vampire just deep-fried the religious Knights chasing us with lightning. That was all. I mean, I might have thought it was a little too much but clearly all logic had gone out the window now and insanity had taken hold. I briefly wondered if perhaps I was actually just hallucinating all of this and drooling on the table back at the Thai restaurant while the real Dominique called for a doctor. Or maybe I'd just embarrassed myself so badly that I'd gone completely mad and this was all simply my delusion with which to escape from reality. Who could say, really?
I saw the second SUV weaving through traffic behind us. I guess watching their friend explode hadn't dissuaded the driver at all, since they were still coming right for us. Dominique's eyes were on the road. I didn't know if she'd noticed them or not. The SUV sped closer to us before suddenly slamming into our side and the entire car lurched violently as Dominique tried to right it.
"Asshole!" She spat. "Dina, the wheel!"
This time I was ready. I grabbed the wheel as Dominique prepared another rune. The SUV was coming to ram us again. They dipped into oncoming traffic to build some distance between us, before suddenly veering closer to try and ram us again.
I jerked the wheel to the side, slamming Dominique's car into the SUV before it could hit us and keeping them on the wrong side of the road. Even through the tinted windows, I could see the driver glaring at me... and it wasn't until the last second that he saw the oncoming truck I'd seen about a minute ago. I actually heard him screaming from inside his car the instant before the truck hit him.
I wasn't really sure how to feel about that and decided that I'd probably need to process the complex emotions that come with having just killed a man later.
Dominique was looking at me with a look of utter bewilderment. She looked back at the truck, then back to me.
"You said to take the wheel!" I said!
"Yes... Yes. I did." She replied, before taking the wheel back from me. She took a hard turn onto a new, slightly less busy road. Around us, I could see some quiet warehouses, telling me we'd ended up in the more industrial part of town.
For a moment, everything was quiet, and we sat there in silence, my heart still racing from experiencing my first ever car chase.
"So… I'm guessing you just want me to drop you off somewhere, huh?" Dominique asked.
"Actually…I could still really go for something to eat," I said quietly just embracing the madness. I was hungry. I had not eaten yet. Might as well fix that!
"Wait, really?" Dominique asked. "Well… shit, what's around then?"
"I'm really not picky," I said. "What do vampires eat?"
"Whatever we want. The blood is more of a nutritional thing. We only really need it every few days or so We still need to eat otherwise."
"Really?" I asked, "So what happens if you don't drink blood?"
"You basically just waste away," She said, "And usually you go a little bit crazy… it's never happened to me, but I've heard things. It's not pretty."
"Jesus… yeah, that does sound pretty awful," I said. "Wait, was Jesus real?"
Dominique shrugged.
"I dunno. I'm only about 400 years old, give or take. Christianity was a thing long before I was born."
"Right… sorry," I said.
"It's alright! I can tell you a lot about the history of Venice and Brazil though!"
I was about to take her up on that when I noticed a new set of headlights behind us.
"Oh hell… are there more of them?" I asked, almost exasperated at this point.
"Seriously, how many people do they have?" Dominique asked, "This is getting stupid!”
“How do you deal with this on a daily basis?” I asked.
“Funnily enough we don’t, they usually leave us alone. I heard that somebody’s jonesing for a promotion though and figured they’d take another crack at us… guess they forgot how badly all of their previous attempts went.”
The final SUV sped closer to us, and Dominique pumped the brakes, letting him shoot past us. She jerked the wheel hard, pulling into the parking lot of some nearby warehouse, and I saw the SUV desperately trying to make a U turn. I clamped onto the passenger side grab handle (I didn’t actually know what they were called before I sat down to write this. I’ve always called them the ‘Oh Jesus Handle’) as Dominique did a donut, spinning her damaged car to face the entrance to the parking lot she’d just entered. She watched intently as the SUV followed her in, before revving her engine like a complete and total psychopath and rocketing toward the SUV.
Normally I would have voiced some concern over her absolutely reckless driving skills, but at this point all I could really say was something that sounded a little like: “OHMYGAWHA ARE OH GAAAAAHHH!”
The SUV jerked to the side, trying to avoid being hit by Dominique, who turned her wheel suddenly, doing a wide donut around the SUV. Her tires squealed against the asphalt as the SUV tried to avoid her, heading toward the factory before making another hard U Turn to try and face us again. I could see some muzzle flashes through the SUV’s window and heard the sound of bullets striking the body of the car. One of them must have hit a tire, since Dominique seemed to suddenly lose control and the overpowering smell of burning rubber filled my nostrils. The car spun, and Dominique gripped the wheel tightly, trying to control it. She looked up at the SUV, which was coming around to ram us.
Her eyes narrowed.
“Out,” She said.
“But what about-”
“Out!”
Before I could say a word of protest, she’d hit the brakes, stopping her spin.
“Go!”
The SUV was speeding toward us. I didn’t want to leave her, but every self-preservation instinct I had was telling me to move! I looked Dominique in the eye. She had a stern, somewhat determined expression. I trusted that she knew what she was doing.
I mean, I don’t think I really had a choice but to trust that she knew what she was doing… I got out of the car, running as fast as my legs would let me as Dominique sped away.
The SUV followed her, veering to pursue her as her battered car tried to circle around the SUV again. The destroyed front tire of her car smoked and screamed against the asphalt as she made a hard turn, letting her car fishtail. The rear end of it slammed into the front of the SUV, sending it slightly off course, toward the warehouse.
Dominique hit the gas again, driving up alongside the SUV and slamming her car against theirs, trying to force them toward the wall. The SUV tried to turn, but couldn’t do so fast enough.
Both cars hit the wall and crumpled.
I felt my breath catch in my throat.
For a few moments, everything went silent. I stared at the cars, waiting for some kind of movement… and when the door of the SUV opened, I felt my heart sink.
I watched as the Cowboy dragged himself out of the drivers seat, before his legs gave out from under him. He collapsed onto the pavement, breathing heavily before trying to pick himself up. His hat tumbled off of his head, and he paused to grab it, before gripping the side of his totaled SUV to try and stand again. I saw his eyes shift toward me, although he didn’t say a word. We stood there for a moment, staring at each other from across the parking lot before he reached back into his car and took out the stake I’d seen earlier. The one that Dominique said could probably kill her.
He looked back at me, before limping around the back of his SUV, heading for Dominique’s car.
I was running for him before I even knew what I was doing. I grabbed at his jacket, trying to hold him back, stop him from getting closer to her. He growled in frustration before slapping me hard across the cheek and sending me crashing to the ground.
“Enough!” He snarled, “Enough…”
He glared down at me, and for a moment I thought he was going to use that stake on me.
But he didn’t.
“I don’t know what the hell you think you’re trying to protect, girl… but that thing in there… that isn’t a goddamn person. It’s a fucking plague. I dunno why you motherfuckers try and defend these things. They ain’t human! They ain’t people! Not anymore. Killing it… it’s God’s work, girl. And you don’t stand in the way of God’s work. You understand that? He always wins, girl. God. Wins.”
“Fuck God…” I rasped, trying to pick myself up again. “A-and fuck you, Mister!”
The Cowboy just laughed breathlessly.
“Ah hell… welp, shoulda known better than trying to reason with stupid, I guess.” He said, before taking a step toward me. I stumbled back, as his gaze fixated on me with a single minded, murderous dedication.
Dominique’s engine roared to life. The Cowboy froze, looking back at it with wide, terrified eyes. I took the opportunity to run, getting out of the way before Dominique’s car jerked backward, slamming into the Cowboy and sending him back to the ground with a cry of pain. Dominique’s car door flew open, and I watched as she stumbled out. Blood trickled from the corner of her mouth and she had a few minor cuts on her face from where her windshield had shattered. Her hair was a mess.
But she was alive.
“Leave the girl alone… jackass…” She spat, as her car door came off entirely.
The Cowboy brandished the stake he had at her, holding it between them as if it was going to shoot out some kind of death beam that would instantly kill her. Although he didn’t seem to have the strength to actually use it. Dominique stared down at him, before looking back at her fallen car door and grabbing it, dragging it toward him.
The Cowboy watched as she came, and I saw a grim resignation settle over his face.
“There’s gonna be more of us, Di Cesare…” He hissed, “So long as your motherfuckin’ family is still alive, we will never stop coming for you. You hear me? God wins, vampire! God… wins…”
“Yeah, you guys have done great so far. This is the closest you’ve come in what, over 200 years? Nice work. I’m sure God’s gonna be real proud of you,” Dominique huffed as she approached. She gingerly kicked the stake out of the Cowboy’s hand. He meekly tried to reach for it, although I grabbed it off the ground, keeping it away from him as Dominique stood over him with the car door.
He looked up at her, trying to remain composed but I could still clearly see the terror in his eyes.
“Hail Satan, asshole,” Dominique replied, before lifting the car door and bringing it down hard on his head. I didn’t watch as she killed him. But I heard his skull cracking and from the corner of my eye, I saw his body twitch before going limp.
Dominique tossed the broken piece of the car door aside, before looking down at the body, and giving an exhausted sigh. She looked back at her totaled car, frowning and taking a moment to quietly mourn it before leaning against it and letting out an exhausted groan.
After a moment, I stepped over the body of the man she’d just killed and stood beside her.
“So… wanna go back to my place?” I asked, looking up at her.
Dominique looked back over at me, and for a moment we just sort of stared at each other.
***
About thirty minutes later, I was back at my apartment, on my back with Dominique on top of me, having the most intense orgasm of my life. My fingernails dug into her back as she kissed me over and over again. I could still taste my own blood on her lips but I didn’t care. I could see stars and there wasn’t a single coherent thought in my mind.
I vaguely remember screaming her name as she sank her teeth into me again, and oh God, why did nobody tell me that getting bit by a vampire felt so fucking good?
I felt a little dizzy, but in a good way as Dominique kissed the small bite mark she’d left on my neck. My entire body trembled as she lifted her hand from between my legs, smiling knowingly as she kissed me one more time. I held her close, losing myself completely in this moment, and savoring the sensation of her arms wrapping around me. It was exactly as nice as I’d hoped it would be, and as we basked in the afterglow of what had easily just been the best sex of my life, I felt content.
Dominique kissed me on the head, before checking on the bite mark again.
“Still doing okay?” She whispered to me.
“Y-yuh…” Was the only response that I was really able to get out.
“Good.”
She kissed me again before playing with my hair and fixing my glasses, chuckling softly as she did. I curled up beside her. Her body was cool to the touch, but she pulled the blanket over us so we’d be warm. I closed my eyes, feeling sleep calling me and quietly wished that Dominique would be staying in town for a little bit longer.
Oh well.
I had every intention of making the most of our time together.
***
It’s been about a week after Dominique left, and since then I’ve found myself back on Butterfly. I didn’t think I’d have much success there… especially after what happened with Dominique, but strangely it’s been going pretty good, lately. It’s hard to say what’s changed about me, but I’m finding that I’m having an easier time talking to people lately.
I guess once you’ve survived a car chase with a bunch of religious fanatics, talking to strangers online doesn’t seem as scary anymore.
I’ve even got another date lined up for tonight! Her name is Piper, and while I don’t think it’s going to be as crazy as my first date with Dominique was, I’ve still got a good feeling about it. For the first time in a while, I feel like things are going to work out for me.
2023.05.28 17:29 bookwrm1324 Looking for plus size with pushup lining!
Hi everyone! I wear a 40G/H (depending on the bra) and I've noticed since discovering this that most bras available have almost zero lining. My breast shape is not flattered at all by this style, they end up looking like a flat uniboob. I like having lift and cleavage and it seems like lined/push up bras are like completely nonexistent in this size. Even a lightly lined balconette would likely work. I've found ONE on Lane Bryant but I've had mixed experiences with them in the past so I'm hesitant. Any recs for where to look? 😅
submitted by bookwrm1324 to ABraThatFits [link] [comments]
2023.05.26 20:16 Marzman315 Defending the Draft 2023 - Cleveland Browns
Marzman315 here again for this year's edition of Defending the Draft
Disclaimer:
Well here we are again. Once again I am here to talk about the Cleveland Browns offseason and draft, and this means I will be talking about Deshaun Watson. While I am a Browns fan I am completely sympathetic to the negative feelings toward this player. However I am not responsible for his actions or the team's decision to sign him so don't waste your time insulting me and distracting from the discussion of this post to address his actions, instead use that time and energy to donate to the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center using the link below, as I will not engage in any discussion regarding the QB in any off field capacity:
https://clevelandrapecrisis.org/support/donate-now/
Brief Season Review:
The Browns entered 2022 with very ill-defined expectations. On one hand the roster looked fairly solid on paper, however the bizarre QB situation left many with the knowledge that success would be an uphill battle, and that inconsistent QB play would likely be our downfall.
And it most certainly was.
During Deshaun Watson's 11 game suspension, Jacoby Brissett took over as starting QB. He immediately became a fan favorite, as the Browns won their opening week game for the first time in seventeen years, and largely played fairly well in the opening weeks. Some poor performances against beatable opponents though saw the Browns as a pretty mid-level team as Watson made his debut.
To say he was underwhelming was an understatement. While flashes of the elite play that Watson has demonstrated in the past shone through at times, he was largely mediocre to poor for most of his abridged season, completing just 58% of his passes for 1,100 yards with seven touchdowns and five interceptions. He turned in decent games against Baltimore and Washington, and while most reasonable Browns fans expected him to have a bit of rust, it was hard not to be disappointed.
That being said there was still plenty of fun to be had during the Browns 2022 campaign as well. New receiver Amari Cooper performed as advertised, putting up an impressive 1,160 yards and 9 TDs, Nick Chubb was dominant once again rushing for over 1500 yards and 12 TDs, the offensive line continued to utterly dominate (including surprise breakout player Ethan Pocic). The defense regressed largely due to poor coaching and a down year from Denzel Ward (which could partially be blamed on said coaching) but another absolutely elite season from Myles Garrett, continued improvement from 2021 first round pick Greg Newsome and a fantastic year from third round rookie MJ Emerson kept things from being disastrous.
Coaching Staff and Front Office:
The major change to feature here was the welcome firing of defensive coordinator Joe Woods following the season. Woods' refusal to adjust his scheme to fit the skillsets of his players led to pretty poor results (hence the down year from Ward, an elite man coverage corner who played the vast majority of his snaps in zone coverage) and was replaced with veteran DC Jim Schwartz. Kevin Stefanski remains head coach and despite a few Browns fans losing faith in him, the 2020 NFL Coach of the Year remains a stable presence at a position the Browns have not had much stability in as of late.
Free Agency and Trades:
The Browns came into free agency this season with clear needs and GM Andrew Berry emphasized filling those needs immediately with the opening of free agency. Those three needs were Defensive Tackle, which the Browns basically had nobody playing, an edge defender opposite Myles Garrett, and a safety to replace the departing John Johnson.
The Browns opened free agency by signing Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, former Ram and Texan coming off two great pass rushing seasons, Dalvin Tomlinson, the solid and consistent defensive tackle from Minnesota, and Juan Thornhill, very good coverage safety from the Kansas City Chiefs. They then focused on re-signing players from their core like Ethan Pocic and Sione Takitaki, as well as rounding out their depth with more mid-level free agents at fair deals like Jordan Akins and Trysten Hill. Their final impact move before the draft was a trade for 23 year old slot specialist Elijah Moore from the New York Jets by exchanging their second round pick for the Jets third round pick. A low risk gamble for the high upside Moore who wanted to be featured in the offense a bit more and will be in the Browns offense.
Key Acquisitions/signings:
Dalvin Tomlinson, DT - Signed: 4 yrs $57 million
Juan Thornhill, DB - Signed: 3 yrs $21 million
Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, DE - Signed: 3 yrs $19 million
Jordan Akins, TE - Signed: 2 yrs $3.9 million
Sione Takitaki, LB - Re-signed: $2.4 million
Marquise Goodwin, WR - Signed $1.7 million
Michael Ford, DB - Signed: $1.5 million
Elijah Moore, WR - Traded from NY Jets for draft picks
Za'Darius Smith, DE - Traded from Minnesota for draft picks
Anthony Walker, LB - Re-Signed: 1 yr, $1.2 million
Rodney McCleod, DB - Signed: 1 yr, $1.3 million
Trysten Hill, DL - Signed: 1 yr, $1.2 million
Jordan Kunaszyk, LB - Signed 1 yr, $1.2 million
Key Losses:
Jacoby Brissett, QB - Signed with Washington in FA
Greedy Williams, DB - Signed with Philadelphia in FA
D'Ernest Johnson, RB - Signed with Jacksonville in FA
Taven Bryan, DT - Signed with Indianapolis in FA
Chase Winovich, DE - Signed with Houston in FA
(The following players' deals have expired but as of now they have neither re-signed or signed elsewhere)
John Johnson, DB - Very unlikely to re-sign, replaced by Thornhill/McLeod
Jadeveon Clowney, DE - Very unlikely to re-sign, replaced by Okoronkwo/Smith
Kareem Hunt, RB - unlikely to re-sign, injuries/reduced usage in 2022
Deion Jones, LB - uncertain to resign, average play in 2022, probably redundant with healthy Anthony Walker
Draft Season:
The Browns entered the draft season without any major holes on the starting roster, although their depth at defensive tackle and wide receiver was still lacking. This was good, considering the team had no draft picks until the 74th pick. The Browns have had some mixed success in the mid rounds but ultimately most reasonable fans trust Berry to put together the best roster possible.
The Draft:
Browns trade pick 42 to NYJ for WR Elijah Moore and pick 74.
3.74 - Cedric Tillman, WR Tennessee
Receiver is an interesting position for the Browns because there are a number of guys on the roster that its easy to get excited about but also easy to write off as non-contributors. 2020 sixth round pick Donovan Peoples-Jones was a fairly solid number two with 840 yds and 3 TDs, but struggled to contribute meaningfully late in the season barring a pretty good game against Cincinnati. Third round rookie David Bell had some decent games from the slot but is limited as an outside option, and Anthony Schwartz is good for one or two huge plays a year thanks to his speed but his terrible hands and poor route running simply doesn't justify them.
Enter Cedric Tillman. The big bodied, 6'3" 220 lb outside threat was dominant for Tennessee before injuries saw him limited in his final season. Tillman has huge potential and while he may not play a ton of snaps in 2023 he is auditioning to take over at #2 if Peoples-Jones leaves in free agency following this year.
3.98 - Siaki Ika, DT Baylor
While GM Andrew Berry aggressively attacked the defensive tackle in free agency, the depth of the position was still lacking going into the draft, particularly an adept run stuffer to man the 1T.
And then the 6'3" 335 lb monster Siaki Ika just falls into their laps. Ika was widely considered a first round prospect going into the season, however some reduction in his production in 2022 as well as a disappointing combine saw him fall out of favor a bit, plus the natural lack of value of the nose tackle position he plays. However his good tape is astounding, as it features a very nimble big man who can not only absorb double teams and disrupt run lanes, but positively contribute to pass rushing as well. He will have a role on the Browns from day one, even if he cannot replicate his pass rushing from college, he will be an effective presence on run downs immediately.
4.111 - Dawand Jones, OT Ohio State
The fall of Dawand Jones on draft day was shocking to some and expected by others. He is a prospect of very distinct strengths and weaknesses.
His strengths are obvious from looking at him. Dude's big. At over 6'8" and weighing in at 375 lbs with monstrous 36" arms he's the premier 'first off the bus' guy and has inherent advantages at the position. His tape was very impressive in 2022 and 21, albeit a bit inconsistent at times.
Jones started rubbing people the wrong way at the senior bowl, after an impressive first day he quit on the rest of the program, then showed up seeming a bit out of shape at the Combine. In the fourth round however he is a no-brainer. With Jedrick Wills approaching the last year of his contract and Jack Conklin (despite his recent extension) being somewhat injury prone, Jones has a path to the field early and is in the hands of one of the very best position coaches in the NFL in o-line coach Bill Callahan. A gamble to be sure, but a very worthwhile one.
4.126 - Isaiah McGuire, DE Missouri
The Browns have certainly had a type with their edge rushers as of late. With the exception of Okoronkwo the physical profile of our EDGE rushers is often very similar and McGuire fits that mold exactly. Highly productive at Missouri, McGuire logged over 20 QB hurries in 2021 and 2022 according to PFF. While he did get shut down at times against top level opponents like Georgia, he was a very effective pass rusher and run stopper with a tremendous physical profile, even if his athletic testing was a bit more modest. He will settle in as a rotational edge rusher immediately and compete with Alex Wright for snaps.
5.140 - Dorian Thompson-Robinson , QB UCLA
There have been few QBs in college football over the past five years as modestly dependable and effective as DTR. Passing for over 10,000 yds and 86 TD to 33 INTs over his long college career, with an additional 1800 yds and 27 TDs on the ground, DTR has a pro level arm, excellent mobility, and is a very intelligent passer with good instincts and the ability to progress through his reads. With a QB that has baggage, a dependable backup QB is a necessity.
5.142 - Cameron Mitchell, DB Northwestern
There was a scandal at one point this offseason where one of Cleveland's many dumbass media personalities pushed a rumor that Greg Newsome was unhappy and was demanding a trade. This was immediately rebuked by follow reporters, sources with the team, and Newsome himself, citing a charity program he launched in Cleveland within the few months prior while reiterating his love for the Browns. The reporter was justifiably made a fool of and issued a half-hearted apology soon after.
However just in case, the Browns went ahead and drafted Newsome's best friend just to make him a bit happier. Mitchell was a solid coverage presence at Northwestern, who had some great games against good passing teams including Ohio State. However his tendency to disappear at times as well as his being a better tackler than coverage player (not exactly what you want in a cornerback) saw him fall to the fifth round. He brings solid size and athleticism to the position, and is certainly a worthwhile project.
6.190 - Luke Wypler, IOL Ohio State
A real curiosity of the 2023 NFL draft was the fall of Luke Wypler. The number 54 player on PFF's big board and considered a solid day two choice by most, Wypler found himself falling all the way to the sixth round where he was a welcome addition by the Browns. Perhaps a bit undersized for his frame, he brings solid athleticism and two very good years of production to the position at one of the top programs in the nation. With the team having signed Ethan Pocic to an extension and Wypler's profile locking him to Center pretty much exclusively, his path to the field is not exactly clear (barring injuries) but a player of Wypler's caliber is not often available in the sixth round so that seems like a good problem to have.
Undrafted Free Agents:
Lonnie Phelps, DE Kansas
Mohamoud Diabate, LB Utah
Ronnie Hickman, DB Ohio State
Jeremiah Marin, DE Washington
Hassan Hall, RB Georgia Tech
Tanner McCalister, DB Ohio State
Charlie Thomas III, LB Georgia Tech
Thomas Greaney, TE Albany
Caleb Biggers, DB Boise State
I don't see anyone from this list contributing meaningfully in 2023 barring injury. The days of the Browns depending on starting snaps from UDFAs is thankfully over. That said I can see Phelps and Hickman potentially making the team, perhaps Hassan Hall as well due largely to the lack of depth running backs on the roster.
It was also following the draft that the Browns traded two fifth round picks for Za'Darius Smith, a sixth round pick and a seventh round pick. Smith is an excellent pass rusher who will provide the critical third veteran presence after Okoronkwo and Garrett, allowing the young, more raw guys like Alex Wright and Isaiah McGuire to be more rotational.
Going Forward:
Browns fans that I've spoken to are largely extremely pleased with this draft and offseason as a whole. We came in with clear needs, addressed them definitively in free agency, drafted with a clear BPA approach, and came out of draft season a better team on paper than going in. The depth of the receiving corps is still a bit uncertain, and while most Browns fans may wish we upgraded at DT a bit more I think that the guys that have been starting are better suited as backups anyway.
The season is hard to predict however for much the same reason last year's was; the massive uncertainty at QB. While Deshaun Watson played quite poorly last year it is impossible to predict how he will play with a full offseason with his teammates and coaching staff.
The division and conference is brutally hard but if this team plays to its full potential it is easily a contender for a deep playoff run. If Watson struggles and the defense doesn't improve with the new coaching it could be a long few years ahead. Only time will tell and most Browns fans are approaching the year with a familiar cautious optimism.
Projected 53 Man Roster:
OFFENSE:
QB - Deshaun Watson, Joshua Dobbs, Dorian Thompson-Robinson (3)
RB - Nick Chubb, Jerome Ford, John Kelly, Hassan Hall, (7)
WR - Amari Cooper, Donovan Peoples-Jones, Elijah Moore, Cedric Tillman, David Bell, Marquise Goodwin (13)
TE - David Njoku, Harrison Bryant, Jordan Akins (16)
OT - Jedrick Wills Jr. (LT), Jack Conklin (RT), Dawand Jones, James Hudson, (20)
OG - Joel Bitonio (LG), Wyatt Teller (RG), Colby Gossett (23)
C - Ethan Pocic, Luke Wypler (25)
DEFENSE:
DE - Myles Garrett, Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, Za'Darius Smith, Alex Wright, Isaiah McGuire (30)
DT - Dalvin Tomlinson, Sikai Ika, Perrion Winfrey, Jordan Elliot, Trysten Hill (35)
LB - Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah, Anthony Walker, Sione Takitaki, Tony Fields, Jordan Kunaszyk (40)
CB - Denzel Ward, Martin Emerson, Greg Newsome, Mike Ford, AJ Green, Cameron Mitchell (46)
SFTY - Grant Delpit, Juan Thornhill, Rodney McCleod, D'Anthony Bell (50)
SPECIALISTS
K - Cade York (51)
P - Corey Bojorquez (52)
LS - Charley Hughlett (53)
submitted by Marzman315 to NFL_Draft [link] [comments]
Disclaimer:
Well here we are again. Once again I am here to talk about the Cleveland Browns offseason and draft, and this means I will be talking about Deshaun Watson. While I am a Browns fan I am completely sympathetic to the negative feelings toward this player. However I am not responsible for his actions or the team's decision to sign him so don't waste your time insulting me and distracting from the discussion of this post to address his actions, instead use that time and energy to donate to the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center using the link below, as I will not engage in any discussion regarding the QB in any off field capacity:
https://clevelandrapecrisis.org/support/donate-now/
Brief Season Review:
The Browns entered 2022 with very ill-defined expectations. On one hand the roster looked fairly solid on paper, however the bizarre QB situation left many with the knowledge that success would be an uphill battle, and that inconsistent QB play would likely be our downfall.
And it most certainly was.
During Deshaun Watson's 11 game suspension, Jacoby Brissett took over as starting QB. He immediately became a fan favorite, as the Browns won their opening week game for the first time in seventeen years, and largely played fairly well in the opening weeks. Some poor performances against beatable opponents though saw the Browns as a pretty mid-level team as Watson made his debut.
To say he was underwhelming was an understatement. While flashes of the elite play that Watson has demonstrated in the past shone through at times, he was largely mediocre to poor for most of his abridged season, completing just 58% of his passes for 1,100 yards with seven touchdowns and five interceptions. He turned in decent games against Baltimore and Washington, and while most reasonable Browns fans expected him to have a bit of rust, it was hard not to be disappointed.
That being said there was still plenty of fun to be had during the Browns 2022 campaign as well. New receiver Amari Cooper performed as advertised, putting up an impressive 1,160 yards and 9 TDs, Nick Chubb was dominant once again rushing for over 1500 yards and 12 TDs, the offensive line continued to utterly dominate (including surprise breakout player Ethan Pocic). The defense regressed largely due to poor coaching and a down year from Denzel Ward (which could partially be blamed on said coaching) but another absolutely elite season from Myles Garrett, continued improvement from 2021 first round pick Greg Newsome and a fantastic year from third round rookie MJ Emerson kept things from being disastrous.
Coaching Staff and Front Office:
The major change to feature here was the welcome firing of defensive coordinator Joe Woods following the season. Woods' refusal to adjust his scheme to fit the skillsets of his players led to pretty poor results (hence the down year from Ward, an elite man coverage corner who played the vast majority of his snaps in zone coverage) and was replaced with veteran DC Jim Schwartz. Kevin Stefanski remains head coach and despite a few Browns fans losing faith in him, the 2020 NFL Coach of the Year remains a stable presence at a position the Browns have not had much stability in as of late.
Free Agency and Trades:
The Browns came into free agency this season with clear needs and GM Andrew Berry emphasized filling those needs immediately with the opening of free agency. Those three needs were Defensive Tackle, which the Browns basically had nobody playing, an edge defender opposite Myles Garrett, and a safety to replace the departing John Johnson.
The Browns opened free agency by signing Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, former Ram and Texan coming off two great pass rushing seasons, Dalvin Tomlinson, the solid and consistent defensive tackle from Minnesota, and Juan Thornhill, very good coverage safety from the Kansas City Chiefs. They then focused on re-signing players from their core like Ethan Pocic and Sione Takitaki, as well as rounding out their depth with more mid-level free agents at fair deals like Jordan Akins and Trysten Hill. Their final impact move before the draft was a trade for 23 year old slot specialist Elijah Moore from the New York Jets by exchanging their second round pick for the Jets third round pick. A low risk gamble for the high upside Moore who wanted to be featured in the offense a bit more and will be in the Browns offense.
Key Acquisitions/signings:
Dalvin Tomlinson, DT - Signed: 4 yrs $57 million
Juan Thornhill, DB - Signed: 3 yrs $21 million
Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, DE - Signed: 3 yrs $19 million
Jordan Akins, TE - Signed: 2 yrs $3.9 million
Sione Takitaki, LB - Re-signed: $2.4 million
Marquise Goodwin, WR - Signed $1.7 million
Michael Ford, DB - Signed: $1.5 million
Elijah Moore, WR - Traded from NY Jets for draft picks
Za'Darius Smith, DE - Traded from Minnesota for draft picks
Anthony Walker, LB - Re-Signed: 1 yr, $1.2 million
Rodney McCleod, DB - Signed: 1 yr, $1.3 million
Trysten Hill, DL - Signed: 1 yr, $1.2 million
Jordan Kunaszyk, LB - Signed 1 yr, $1.2 million
Key Losses:
Jacoby Brissett, QB - Signed with Washington in FA
Greedy Williams, DB - Signed with Philadelphia in FA
D'Ernest Johnson, RB - Signed with Jacksonville in FA
Taven Bryan, DT - Signed with Indianapolis in FA
Chase Winovich, DE - Signed with Houston in FA
(The following players' deals have expired but as of now they have neither re-signed or signed elsewhere)
John Johnson, DB - Very unlikely to re-sign, replaced by Thornhill/McLeod
Jadeveon Clowney, DE - Very unlikely to re-sign, replaced by Okoronkwo/Smith
Kareem Hunt, RB - unlikely to re-sign, injuries/reduced usage in 2022
Deion Jones, LB - uncertain to resign, average play in 2022, probably redundant with healthy Anthony Walker
Draft Season:
The Browns entered the draft season without any major holes on the starting roster, although their depth at defensive tackle and wide receiver was still lacking. This was good, considering the team had no draft picks until the 74th pick. The Browns have had some mixed success in the mid rounds but ultimately most reasonable fans trust Berry to put together the best roster possible.
The Draft:
Browns trade pick 42 to NYJ for WR Elijah Moore and pick 74.
3.74 - Cedric Tillman, WR Tennessee
Receiver is an interesting position for the Browns because there are a number of guys on the roster that its easy to get excited about but also easy to write off as non-contributors. 2020 sixth round pick Donovan Peoples-Jones was a fairly solid number two with 840 yds and 3 TDs, but struggled to contribute meaningfully late in the season barring a pretty good game against Cincinnati. Third round rookie David Bell had some decent games from the slot but is limited as an outside option, and Anthony Schwartz is good for one or two huge plays a year thanks to his speed but his terrible hands and poor route running simply doesn't justify them.
Enter Cedric Tillman. The big bodied, 6'3" 220 lb outside threat was dominant for Tennessee before injuries saw him limited in his final season. Tillman has huge potential and while he may not play a ton of snaps in 2023 he is auditioning to take over at #2 if Peoples-Jones leaves in free agency following this year.
3.98 - Siaki Ika, DT Baylor
While GM Andrew Berry aggressively attacked the defensive tackle in free agency, the depth of the position was still lacking going into the draft, particularly an adept run stuffer to man the 1T.
And then the 6'3" 335 lb monster Siaki Ika just falls into their laps. Ika was widely considered a first round prospect going into the season, however some reduction in his production in 2022 as well as a disappointing combine saw him fall out of favor a bit, plus the natural lack of value of the nose tackle position he plays. However his good tape is astounding, as it features a very nimble big man who can not only absorb double teams and disrupt run lanes, but positively contribute to pass rushing as well. He will have a role on the Browns from day one, even if he cannot replicate his pass rushing from college, he will be an effective presence on run downs immediately.
4.111 - Dawand Jones, OT Ohio State
The fall of Dawand Jones on draft day was shocking to some and expected by others. He is a prospect of very distinct strengths and weaknesses.
His strengths are obvious from looking at him. Dude's big. At over 6'8" and weighing in at 375 lbs with monstrous 36" arms he's the premier 'first off the bus' guy and has inherent advantages at the position. His tape was very impressive in 2022 and 21, albeit a bit inconsistent at times.
Jones started rubbing people the wrong way at the senior bowl, after an impressive first day he quit on the rest of the program, then showed up seeming a bit out of shape at the Combine. In the fourth round however he is a no-brainer. With Jedrick Wills approaching the last year of his contract and Jack Conklin (despite his recent extension) being somewhat injury prone, Jones has a path to the field early and is in the hands of one of the very best position coaches in the NFL in o-line coach Bill Callahan. A gamble to be sure, but a very worthwhile one.
4.126 - Isaiah McGuire, DE Missouri
The Browns have certainly had a type with their edge rushers as of late. With the exception of Okoronkwo the physical profile of our EDGE rushers is often very similar and McGuire fits that mold exactly. Highly productive at Missouri, McGuire logged over 20 QB hurries in 2021 and 2022 according to PFF. While he did get shut down at times against top level opponents like Georgia, he was a very effective pass rusher and run stopper with a tremendous physical profile, even if his athletic testing was a bit more modest. He will settle in as a rotational edge rusher immediately and compete with Alex Wright for snaps.
5.140 - Dorian Thompson-Robinson , QB UCLA
There have been few QBs in college football over the past five years as modestly dependable and effective as DTR. Passing for over 10,000 yds and 86 TD to 33 INTs over his long college career, with an additional 1800 yds and 27 TDs on the ground, DTR has a pro level arm, excellent mobility, and is a very intelligent passer with good instincts and the ability to progress through his reads. With a QB that has baggage, a dependable backup QB is a necessity.
5.142 - Cameron Mitchell, DB Northwestern
There was a scandal at one point this offseason where one of Cleveland's many dumbass media personalities pushed a rumor that Greg Newsome was unhappy and was demanding a trade. This was immediately rebuked by follow reporters, sources with the team, and Newsome himself, citing a charity program he launched in Cleveland within the few months prior while reiterating his love for the Browns. The reporter was justifiably made a fool of and issued a half-hearted apology soon after.
However just in case, the Browns went ahead and drafted Newsome's best friend just to make him a bit happier. Mitchell was a solid coverage presence at Northwestern, who had some great games against good passing teams including Ohio State. However his tendency to disappear at times as well as his being a better tackler than coverage player (not exactly what you want in a cornerback) saw him fall to the fifth round. He brings solid size and athleticism to the position, and is certainly a worthwhile project.
6.190 - Luke Wypler, IOL Ohio State
A real curiosity of the 2023 NFL draft was the fall of Luke Wypler. The number 54 player on PFF's big board and considered a solid day two choice by most, Wypler found himself falling all the way to the sixth round where he was a welcome addition by the Browns. Perhaps a bit undersized for his frame, he brings solid athleticism and two very good years of production to the position at one of the top programs in the nation. With the team having signed Ethan Pocic to an extension and Wypler's profile locking him to Center pretty much exclusively, his path to the field is not exactly clear (barring injuries) but a player of Wypler's caliber is not often available in the sixth round so that seems like a good problem to have.
Undrafted Free Agents:
Lonnie Phelps, DE Kansas
Mohamoud Diabate, LB Utah
Ronnie Hickman, DB Ohio State
Jeremiah Marin, DE Washington
Hassan Hall, RB Georgia Tech
Tanner McCalister, DB Ohio State
Charlie Thomas III, LB Georgia Tech
Thomas Greaney, TE Albany
Caleb Biggers, DB Boise State
I don't see anyone from this list contributing meaningfully in 2023 barring injury. The days of the Browns depending on starting snaps from UDFAs is thankfully over. That said I can see Phelps and Hickman potentially making the team, perhaps Hassan Hall as well due largely to the lack of depth running backs on the roster.
It was also following the draft that the Browns traded two fifth round picks for Za'Darius Smith, a sixth round pick and a seventh round pick. Smith is an excellent pass rusher who will provide the critical third veteran presence after Okoronkwo and Garrett, allowing the young, more raw guys like Alex Wright and Isaiah McGuire to be more rotational.
Going Forward:
Browns fans that I've spoken to are largely extremely pleased with this draft and offseason as a whole. We came in with clear needs, addressed them definitively in free agency, drafted with a clear BPA approach, and came out of draft season a better team on paper than going in. The depth of the receiving corps is still a bit uncertain, and while most Browns fans may wish we upgraded at DT a bit more I think that the guys that have been starting are better suited as backups anyway.
The season is hard to predict however for much the same reason last year's was; the massive uncertainty at QB. While Deshaun Watson played quite poorly last year it is impossible to predict how he will play with a full offseason with his teammates and coaching staff.
The division and conference is brutally hard but if this team plays to its full potential it is easily a contender for a deep playoff run. If Watson struggles and the defense doesn't improve with the new coaching it could be a long few years ahead. Only time will tell and most Browns fans are approaching the year with a familiar cautious optimism.
Projected 53 Man Roster:
OFFENSE:
QB - Deshaun Watson, Joshua Dobbs, Dorian Thompson-Robinson (3)
RB - Nick Chubb, Jerome Ford, John Kelly, Hassan Hall, (7)
WR - Amari Cooper, Donovan Peoples-Jones, Elijah Moore, Cedric Tillman, David Bell, Marquise Goodwin (13)
TE - David Njoku, Harrison Bryant, Jordan Akins (16)
OT - Jedrick Wills Jr. (LT), Jack Conklin (RT), Dawand Jones, James Hudson, (20)
OG - Joel Bitonio (LG), Wyatt Teller (RG), Colby Gossett (23)
C - Ethan Pocic, Luke Wypler (25)
DEFENSE:
DE - Myles Garrett, Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, Za'Darius Smith, Alex Wright, Isaiah McGuire (30)
DT - Dalvin Tomlinson, Sikai Ika, Perrion Winfrey, Jordan Elliot, Trysten Hill (35)
LB - Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah, Anthony Walker, Sione Takitaki, Tony Fields, Jordan Kunaszyk (40)
CB - Denzel Ward, Martin Emerson, Greg Newsome, Mike Ford, AJ Green, Cameron Mitchell (46)
SFTY - Grant Delpit, Juan Thornhill, Rodney McCleod, D'Anthony Bell (50)
SPECIALISTS
K - Cade York (51)
P - Corey Bojorquez (52)
LS - Charley Hughlett (53)
2023.05.26 06:31 twentyfourstyle need help!!!
so my graduation is tomorrow evening and i did not plan ahead very well 🙃. i had a shirt i thought would work, but it looks completely different from what i thought it would. i do not have any other tops that would fit this occasion, only plain tshirts.
what stores could i possibly go to tomorrow that would have 5/6x? i’m in the central kentucky area, if that helps!
i have tried torrid and lane bryant, with absolutely no luck. plan to go to a larger torrid in the morning, as they have a bigger selection!
any help is appreciated!
submitted by twentyfourstyle to PlusSizeFashion [link] [comments]
what stores could i possibly go to tomorrow that would have 5/6x? i’m in the central kentucky area, if that helps!
i have tried torrid and lane bryant, with absolutely no luck. plan to go to a larger torrid in the morning, as they have a bigger selection!
any help is appreciated!
2023.05.26 01:27 Realistic_Chef_1730 About the torrid clothing...
So recently she has been getting clothes (moo moos) from amazon. Her Bra seems to have disappeared. IMO clothes from torrid, lane bryant, and other plus size clothing stores (yes I have shopped at these and others previously) a lot of these clothes need to be taken care of and still shrink. The quality of the clothing is ok, but still not the greatest. Ass for the Bra My guess is she has been sweating up a storm and got the under the boob rash. possibly even resulting in infection which makes wearing a bra painful. again the quality of these items are meant to wear out. I'd be so lucky to get a bra to last me a year. Normally it stretches and it doesn't have the same support, or the back of the bra where the hooks are tend to deform. She has wired bra which is aa whole new problem of the wire popping out.
Clearly she is not only gaining weight but is having issues maintaining her income to a level that can support her wants.
they have specialty bra places that can properly fit her it might cost almost 200 dollars aa bra but it is good quality that will last longer than a retail store made for larger people. Its kind of sad that she is so limited to clothing choices, but who am I kidding.... if cancer cant scare her straight why would better clothing options put her on track
submitted by Realistic_Chef_1730 to ambbabies [link] [comments]
Clearly she is not only gaining weight but is having issues maintaining her income to a level that can support her wants.
they have specialty bra places that can properly fit her it might cost almost 200 dollars aa bra but it is good quality that will last longer than a retail store made for larger people. Its kind of sad that she is so limited to clothing choices, but who am I kidding.... if cancer cant scare her straight why would better clothing options put her on track
2023.05.24 22:45 omeganebulaheart Lane Bryant Discount Code in May 2023
Visit this page for Lane Bryant Discount Code in May 2023. The website offers a wide selection of coupons, promo codes, and discount deals that are updated regularly, just visit the website to find the perfect one for you.
submitted by omeganebulaheart to HotshotOffers [link] [comments]
2023.05.23 22:30 Pharmkitty18 Plus Size Petite mini dresses
Hey there! Looking for suggestions for where to order plus size mini dresses that would suit someone petite. I’m 5’1” and always struggle with short dresses hanging below my knees. (For example, Torrid and Lane Bryant dresses typically swallow me in terms of length). I can usually find some cute-ish sundresses but I’m specifically looking for something a bit dressier. Taking a trip to NY in a couple months and need something that would be appropriate for a happy hour cocktail at a more upscale bar and then a Broadway show. Also only interested in stores with decent shipping and returns. I like to over-order to see what I like, and I don’t want to end up with store credit instead of a refund.
Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
submitted by Pharmkitty18 to PlusSizeFashion [link] [comments]
Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
2023.05.23 20:19 jimbobbypaul Ranking the Top 131 FBS Programs of the Last 40 Years: 94. SMU
Main hub thread with the full 131 rankings
There’s 2 things people know about SMU football: The Pony Express, and a really strange inside joke on Reddit’s CFB. After enjoying a 41-5-1 record from 1981-84, in 1987 SMU became the first and only football program to receive the “death penalty” for repeated violation of NCAA rules. You can watch the ESPN 30 for 30 “Pony Excess” for a full summary, but most of the violations were in player recruitment: Boosters offered money to players to come to SMU. The team was forced to shut down for 2 years from 1987-88, and when they returned, had just 1 winning season over the next 20 years.
SMU had some real bad years immediately following the death penalty, but the worst came 15 years later in 2003. The entire gameplan was to hand the ball off to RB Keylon Kincade, which wasn’t very effective. Full credit to Kincade, who did all he could, running the ball 317 times for 1280 yards and 4 TD. He also had 18 catches for 271 yards and 1 receiving TD. They had to give it to Kincade, as the QBs combined for 46.6% completions for 1576 yards 7 TD 15 INT. Kincade’s 317 carries ranked 5th in the nation, and this was following a 2002 year where he ran it 327 times (for 1279 yards and 7 TD). SMU’s pitiful offense ranked last in the nation with just 11.2 PPG, while the defense did their best, giving up 32.2 PPG. Because their defense kept them in games, they had a 7-10 loss to Baylor, 9-12 to Nevada, 19-21 to UTEP, and 13-20 to #19 TCU. Kincade went on to sit on the Dallas Cowboys roster from 2004-06, and was the Whataburger Coach of the Week in November 2019 while at Winona High in Texas. This SMU team is my 36th worst team since 1983.
5. 1985 (6-5 overall, 5-3 SWC)
Despite going 7-3 in 2020, 1985 gets the nod as the 5th best season due to playing in a tougher conference, the SWC. Way back in the 80’s, the SWC had 9 teams—8 which were from Texas, and then Arkansas. Having gone 41-5-1 from 1981-84, SMU entered 1985 as the preseason #3 team. In week 3, 2-0 #3 SMU travelled to Arizona to play the Wildcats, and while SMU came in as the big bad guys, it was a 5’6 168 lb RB from Arizona that ran for 136 yards and a TD—David Adams. Arizona dominated 28-6, and SMU fell to #16. The season continued to slip after a 14-21 loss to #19 Baylor, and when 4-2 #20 SMU travelled to Texas A&M a few weeks later and lost 17-19, they never returned to the Top 25. With 2 weeks to go, SMU was still in the SWC title hunt with a 5-1 conference record, but lost to #18 Arkansas and #4 Oklahoma to finish off the year. RB Reggie Dupard was SMU’s last Consensus All-American, rushing for 1278 yards and 14 TD on 5.6 YPC, and was drafted in the 1st round by the New England Patriots after the season.
4. 2021 (8-4 overall, 4-4 American)
Now back to the present day, in the American. Long since the days of the Pony Express, SMU was becoming a premier G5 team under Sonny Dykes with top offenses year in and year out. It was more of the same in 2021, ranking 10th in the nation with 38.4 PPG. SMU jumped out to a 7-0 start and #19 ranking, blowing out mostly weak competition, setting up a matchup with 6-1 Houston. SMU tied the game 37-37 with 30 seconds left, but made the mistake of kicking to arguably the greatest return man in college football history, Marcus Jones, who subsequently returned the kickoff for the winning TD. SMU fell off after that, winning just 1 of their last 5 on the season, but did get a nice 55-28 win over eventual 9-4 UCF. The bowl game against Virginia was cancelled, but SMU would’ve had a good shot at winning. 5 players on offense were 1st/2nd Team All-AAC. QB Tanner Mordecai threw for 3628 yards 39 TD 12 INT, WR Danny Gray had 4.33 speed with 49 catches for 803 yards and 9 TD, and former Oklahoma TE Grant Calcaterra had 450+ receiving yards and was drafted in the 3rd round after the season. Mordecai would go on to throw 9 TD against Houston in 2022, revenge for the last second loss.
3. 2019 (10-3 overall, 6-2 American)
As good as the 2021 offense was, 2019 was even better, averaging 41.8 PPG. They were led by former Texas QB Shane Buechele, who was in his first year with SMU after losing the Longhorns QB battle to Sam Ehlinger. SMU got off to an 8-0 start, with wins over #25 TCU and Houston. That set up an ESPN College GameDay matchup between #15 SMU and #24 Memphis. In an exciting game filled with NFL talent on both sides, Memphis held on for a 54-48 win, and I highly recommend you watch the highlights, as there was a lot of action. SMU alternated wins/losses for the rest of the year, losing 28-52 in the bowl to C-USA champion FAU and Lane Kiffin. Buechele threw for 3929 yards with 34 TD to 10 INT, RB Xavier Jones had 1276 rushing yards and a whopping 23 TD, and James Proche had 111 catches for 1225 yards and 15 TD. Patrick Nelson, just a 6’0 216 lb LB/S, had a monster 1st Team All-AAC year with 81 tackles, 12.5 sacks, and 5 TFL, ranking #2 in the American in sacks.
2. 1983 (10-2 overall, 7-1 SWC)
And here we have the glory years. Where did it all go wrong? Rhetorical question, there’s entire documentaries on the subject. The 1983 SMU team was a sight to behold. They ran the ball down your throat, and you couldn’t do anything to their defense. While QB Lance McIlhenny didn’t have gaudy stats, just 11 TD to 7 INT, he earned his 3rd straight 1st Team All-SWC selection and is considered one of the greatest option quarterbacks in NCAA history. As RC Slocum put it, McIlhenny “understood option football. ... He had two great running backs at SMU, but he’s the one who made it all go”. Those 2 RBs were Reggie Dupard (mentioned in the 1985 entry) and Jeff Atkins, who combined for 2186 rushing yards and 16 TD on 6.2 YPC. DB Russell Carter earned Consensus All-American honors with 7 interceptions, which surprisingly was only 6th in the nation that year. For the regular season, SMU started #19 and finished #6, going 10-1 against a soft schedule. They played 7-4 Alabama, the first year without Bear Bryant, and the Tide pulled off a 28-7 upset. SMU finished the year #12, their lowest ranking of 1981-84.
1. 1984 (10-2 overall, 6-2 SWC)
By 1984, people were accustomed to seeing SMU do well, and they started the year #14 in the AP Poll. A 4-2 start saw hard-fought 20-29 and 7-13 losses to Houston and #2 Texas, respectively, and SMU fell to #19. They were favored in most, if not all games the rest of the way, and won out, beating 4-3 Texas A&M 28-20, 4-5 Texas Tech 31-0, and 7-2-1 Arkansas 31-28. Arguably the most impressive win of the season came in the final week against UNLV of all teams, who entered at 10-1 with All-American QB Randall Cunningham. #10 SMU handled them 38-21. SMU finished the year beating #17 Notre Dame 27-20 for a #8 finish in the AP Top 25 and a #7 finish in my rankings. The defense gave up 5 more PPG than 1983 (16.5), but the offense also scored 5 more (27.3 PPG). It seems weird for newer fans to think about, but SMU was legitimately on top of the college football world in the early 80’s, their .839 win percentage from 1980-84 ranking #1 among D1 teams in that period.
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submitted by jimbobbypaul to CFB [link] [comments]
There’s 2 things people know about SMU football: The Pony Express, and a really strange inside joke on Reddit’s CFB. After enjoying a 41-5-1 record from 1981-84, in 1987 SMU became the first and only football program to receive the “death penalty” for repeated violation of NCAA rules. You can watch the ESPN 30 for 30 “Pony Excess” for a full summary, but most of the violations were in player recruitment: Boosters offered money to players to come to SMU. The team was forced to shut down for 2 years from 1987-88, and when they returned, had just 1 winning season over the next 20 years.
Best Seasons and Highlights
1. 1984: 7. Southern Methodist: 10-2 (27.732) 2. 1983: 15. Southern Methodist: 10-2 (20.558) 3. 2019: 29. Southern Methodist: 10-3 (12.982) 4. 2021: 47. Southern Methodist: 8-4 (2.330) 5. 1985: 36. Southern Methodist: 6-5 (2.109) 6. 1986: 37. Southern Methodist: 6-5 (0.466) 7. 2020: 50. Southern Methodist: 7-3 (-0.043) 8. 2009: 57. Southern Methodist: 8-5 (-3.051) 9. 2011: 51. Southern Methodist: 8-5 (-3.239) 10. 2022: 62. Southern Methodist: 7-6 (-7.891) 11. 1997: 53. Southern Methodist: 6-5 (-8.438) 12. 2012: 66. Southern Methodist: 7-6 (-9.135) 13. 2017: 78. Southern Methodist: 7-6 (-13.907) 14. 2005: 70. Southern Methodist: 5-6 (-14.427) 15. 2010: 76. Southern Methodist: 7-7 (-16.013) 16. 2006: 70. Southern Methodist: 6-6 (-17.049) 17. 1996: 65. Southern Methodist: 5-6 (-17.230) 18. 1992: 76. Southern Methodist: 5-6 (-20.791) 19. 1998: 72. Southern Methodist: 5-7 (-21.366) 20. 2018: 96. Southern Methodist: 5-7 (-22.017) 21. 1999: 80. Southern Methodist: 4-6 (-24.600) 22. 2016: 94. Southern Methodist: 5-7 (-27.421) 23. 2013: 92. Southern Methodist: 5-7 (-27.444) 24. 1993: 81. Southern Methodist: 2-7-2 (-28.107) 25. 2001: 88. Southern Methodist: 4-7 (-28.940) 26. 2004: 107. Southern Methodist: 3-8 (-45.326) 27. 1994: 98. Southern Methodist: 1-9-1 (-46.257) 28. 2002: 104. Southern Methodist: 3-9 (-46.778) 29. 2000: 105. Southern Methodist: 3-9 (-47.839) 30. 2015: 120. Southern Methodist: 2-10 (-51.500) 31. 1995: 103. Southern Methodist: 1-10 (-52.348) 32. 1989: 96. Southern Methodist: 2-9 (-53.365) 33. 1991: 103. Southern Methodist: 1-10 (-56.018) 34. 2007: 117. Southern Methodist: 1-11 (-59.209) 35. 1990: 103. Southern Methodist: 1-10 (-60.385) 36. 2008: 116. Southern Methodist: 1-11 (-61.364) 37. 2014: 127. Southern Methodist: 1-11 (-65.583) 38. 2003: 116. Southern Methodist: 0-12 (-68.492) Overall Score: 5981 (94th)
- 178-265-3 record
- 1 conference title
- 4-5 bowl record
- 2 consensus All-Americans
- 40 NFL players drafted
Top 5 Seasons
Worst Season: 2003 (0-12 overall, 0-8 WAC)SMU had some real bad years immediately following the death penalty, but the worst came 15 years later in 2003. The entire gameplan was to hand the ball off to RB Keylon Kincade, which wasn’t very effective. Full credit to Kincade, who did all he could, running the ball 317 times for 1280 yards and 4 TD. He also had 18 catches for 271 yards and 1 receiving TD. They had to give it to Kincade, as the QBs combined for 46.6% completions for 1576 yards 7 TD 15 INT. Kincade’s 317 carries ranked 5th in the nation, and this was following a 2002 year where he ran it 327 times (for 1279 yards and 7 TD). SMU’s pitiful offense ranked last in the nation with just 11.2 PPG, while the defense did their best, giving up 32.2 PPG. Because their defense kept them in games, they had a 7-10 loss to Baylor, 9-12 to Nevada, 19-21 to UTEP, and 13-20 to #19 TCU. Kincade went on to sit on the Dallas Cowboys roster from 2004-06, and was the Whataburger Coach of the Week in November 2019 while at Winona High in Texas. This SMU team is my 36th worst team since 1983.
5. 1985 (6-5 overall, 5-3 SWC)
Despite going 7-3 in 2020, 1985 gets the nod as the 5th best season due to playing in a tougher conference, the SWC. Way back in the 80’s, the SWC had 9 teams—8 which were from Texas, and then Arkansas. Having gone 41-5-1 from 1981-84, SMU entered 1985 as the preseason #3 team. In week 3, 2-0 #3 SMU travelled to Arizona to play the Wildcats, and while SMU came in as the big bad guys, it was a 5’6 168 lb RB from Arizona that ran for 136 yards and a TD—David Adams. Arizona dominated 28-6, and SMU fell to #16. The season continued to slip after a 14-21 loss to #19 Baylor, and when 4-2 #20 SMU travelled to Texas A&M a few weeks later and lost 17-19, they never returned to the Top 25. With 2 weeks to go, SMU was still in the SWC title hunt with a 5-1 conference record, but lost to #18 Arkansas and #4 Oklahoma to finish off the year. RB Reggie Dupard was SMU’s last Consensus All-American, rushing for 1278 yards and 14 TD on 5.6 YPC, and was drafted in the 1st round by the New England Patriots after the season.
4. 2021 (8-4 overall, 4-4 American)
Now back to the present day, in the American. Long since the days of the Pony Express, SMU was becoming a premier G5 team under Sonny Dykes with top offenses year in and year out. It was more of the same in 2021, ranking 10th in the nation with 38.4 PPG. SMU jumped out to a 7-0 start and #19 ranking, blowing out mostly weak competition, setting up a matchup with 6-1 Houston. SMU tied the game 37-37 with 30 seconds left, but made the mistake of kicking to arguably the greatest return man in college football history, Marcus Jones, who subsequently returned the kickoff for the winning TD. SMU fell off after that, winning just 1 of their last 5 on the season, but did get a nice 55-28 win over eventual 9-4 UCF. The bowl game against Virginia was cancelled, but SMU would’ve had a good shot at winning. 5 players on offense were 1st/2nd Team All-AAC. QB Tanner Mordecai threw for 3628 yards 39 TD 12 INT, WR Danny Gray had 4.33 speed with 49 catches for 803 yards and 9 TD, and former Oklahoma TE Grant Calcaterra had 450+ receiving yards and was drafted in the 3rd round after the season. Mordecai would go on to throw 9 TD against Houston in 2022, revenge for the last second loss.
3. 2019 (10-3 overall, 6-2 American)
As good as the 2021 offense was, 2019 was even better, averaging 41.8 PPG. They were led by former Texas QB Shane Buechele, who was in his first year with SMU after losing the Longhorns QB battle to Sam Ehlinger. SMU got off to an 8-0 start, with wins over #25 TCU and Houston. That set up an ESPN College GameDay matchup between #15 SMU and #24 Memphis. In an exciting game filled with NFL talent on both sides, Memphis held on for a 54-48 win, and I highly recommend you watch the highlights, as there was a lot of action. SMU alternated wins/losses for the rest of the year, losing 28-52 in the bowl to C-USA champion FAU and Lane Kiffin. Buechele threw for 3929 yards with 34 TD to 10 INT, RB Xavier Jones had 1276 rushing yards and a whopping 23 TD, and James Proche had 111 catches for 1225 yards and 15 TD. Patrick Nelson, just a 6’0 216 lb LB/S, had a monster 1st Team All-AAC year with 81 tackles, 12.5 sacks, and 5 TFL, ranking #2 in the American in sacks.
2. 1983 (10-2 overall, 7-1 SWC)
And here we have the glory years. Where did it all go wrong? Rhetorical question, there’s entire documentaries on the subject. The 1983 SMU team was a sight to behold. They ran the ball down your throat, and you couldn’t do anything to their defense. While QB Lance McIlhenny didn’t have gaudy stats, just 11 TD to 7 INT, he earned his 3rd straight 1st Team All-SWC selection and is considered one of the greatest option quarterbacks in NCAA history. As RC Slocum put it, McIlhenny “understood option football. ... He had two great running backs at SMU, but he’s the one who made it all go”. Those 2 RBs were Reggie Dupard (mentioned in the 1985 entry) and Jeff Atkins, who combined for 2186 rushing yards and 16 TD on 6.2 YPC. DB Russell Carter earned Consensus All-American honors with 7 interceptions, which surprisingly was only 6th in the nation that year. For the regular season, SMU started #19 and finished #6, going 10-1 against a soft schedule. They played 7-4 Alabama, the first year without Bear Bryant, and the Tide pulled off a 28-7 upset. SMU finished the year #12, their lowest ranking of 1981-84.
1. 1984 (10-2 overall, 6-2 SWC)
By 1984, people were accustomed to seeing SMU do well, and they started the year #14 in the AP Poll. A 4-2 start saw hard-fought 20-29 and 7-13 losses to Houston and #2 Texas, respectively, and SMU fell to #19. They were favored in most, if not all games the rest of the way, and won out, beating 4-3 Texas A&M 28-20, 4-5 Texas Tech 31-0, and 7-2-1 Arkansas 31-28. Arguably the most impressive win of the season came in the final week against UNLV of all teams, who entered at 10-1 with All-American QB Randall Cunningham. #10 SMU handled them 38-21. SMU finished the year beating #17 Notre Dame 27-20 for a #8 finish in the AP Top 25 and a #7 finish in my rankings. The defense gave up 5 more PPG than 1983 (16.5), but the offense also scored 5 more (27.3 PPG). It seems weird for newer fans to think about, but SMU was legitimately on top of the college football world in the early 80’s, their .839 win percentage from 1980-84 ranking #1 among D1 teams in that period.
5th Quarter
Will SMU return to their glory days in the NIL era? Was the death penalty justified at the time? What have you thought about SMU’s high-powered offenses in the last decade and how they look going forward?If you appreciate the effort, please consider subscribing on substack!
2023.05.23 14:26 AnderLouis_ Hail and Farewell (George Moore) - Book 3: Vale, Chapter 7.2
PODCAST: https://ayearofwarandpeace.podbean.com/e/ep1567-hail-and-farewell-george-moore-vale-chapter-72/
PROMPTS: Nah
Today's Reading, via Project Gutenberg:
Lady Gregory is a Persse, and the Persses are an ancient Galway family; the best-known branch is the Moyaude branch, for it was at Moyaude that Burton Persse bred and hunted the Galway Blazers for over thirty years ... till his death. Moyaude has passed away, but Roxborough continues, never having indulged in either horses or hounds, a worthy but undistinguished family in love, in war, or in politics, never having indulged in anything except a taste for Bible reading in the cottages. A staunch Protestant family, if nothing else, the Roxborough Persses certainly are. Mrs Persse and her two elder daughters were ardent soul-gatherers in the days gone by, but Lady Gregory did not join them in their missionary work, holding always to the belief that there was great danger in persuading any one to leave the religion learnt in childhood, for we could never be sure that another would find a place in the heart. In saying as much she wins our hearts, but our intelligence warns us against the seduction, and we remember that we may not acquiesce in what we believe to be error. The ignorant and numbed mind cannot be acceptable to God, so do we think, and take our stand with Mrs Persse and the elder sisters. We are glad, however, though we are not sure that our gladness on such a point is not a sign of weakness, still we are glad that Sir William chose Augusta rather than one of her elder sisters, either of whom would certainly have fired up in the carriage when Sir William, on his way to Coole, suggested to his bride that she should refrain from pointing out to his tenants what she believed to be a different teaching of the Bible from that which they received from the parish priest. He would probably say: You have made no converts—(we have forgotten Mrs Shaw Taylor's Christian name, but Agnes will serve our purpose as well as another)—you have made no converts, Agnes, but you have shaken the faith of thousands. The ground at Roxborough has been cleared for the sowing, but Kiltartan can wait. Which Path Should Agnes Have Followed? is clearly the title of a six-shilling novel which I pass on to my contemporaries; meanwhile I have pleasure in stating here, for my statement is implicated in an artistic movement, the Abbey Theatre, that the Gospels were never read by Lady Gregory round Kiltartan. I should like to fill in a page or two about her married life, but though we know our neighbours very well in one direction, in another there is nothing that we know less than our neighbours, and Lady Gregory has never been for me a very real person. I imagine her without a mother, or father, or sisters, or brothers, sans attache. It is difficult to believe, but it is nevertheless true, that fearing a too flagrant mistake, I had to ask a friend the other day if I were right in supposing that Mrs Shaw Taylor was Lady Gregory's sister, an absurd question truly, for Mrs Shaw Taylor's house (I have forgotten its name) is within a mile of Tillyra, and I must have been there many times. We may cultivate our memories in one direction, but by so doing we curtail them in another, and documentary evidence jars my style. I like to write of Lady Gregory from the evening that Edward drove me over to Coole, the night of the dinner-party. There is in the first part of this book a portrait of her as I saw her that night, a slim young woman of medium height and slight figure; her hair, parted in the middle, was brushed in wide bands about a brow which even at that time was intellectual. The phrase previously used, if my memory does not deceive me, was high and cultured; I think I said that she wore a high-school air, and the phrase expresses the idea she conveyed to me—an air of mixed timidity and restrained anxiety. On the whole it was pleasant to pass from her to Sir William, who was more at his ease, more natural. He spoke to me affably about a Velasquez in the National Gallery, which was not a Velasquez; it is now set down as a Zurbaran, but the last attribution does not convince me any more than the first. He wore the Lord Palmerston air; it was the air of that generation, but he did not wear it nearly so well as my father.
These two men were of the same generation and their interests were the same; both were travelled men; Sir William's travels were not so original as my father's, and the racehorses that he kept were not so fast, and his politics were not so definite; he was more of an opportunist than my father, more careful and cautious, and therefore less interesting. Galway has not produced so many interesting man as Mayo; its pastures are richer, but its men are thinner in intellect. But if we are considering Lady Gregory's rise in the world, we must admit that she owes a great deal to her husband. He took her to London, and she enjoyed at least one season in a tall house in the little enclosure known as St George's Place; and there met a number of eminent men whose books and conversation were in harmony with her conception of life, still somewhat formal. One afternoon Lecky the historian left her drawing-room as I entered it, and I remember the look of pleasure on her face when she mentioned the name of her visitor, and her pleasure did not end with Lecky, for a few minutes afterwards Edwin Arnold, the poet of The Light of Asia, was announced. She would have liked to have had him all to herself, and I think that she thought my conversation a little ill advised when I spoke to Sir Edwin of a book lately published on the subject of Buddhism, and asked him what book was the best to read on this subject. He did not answer my question directly, but very soon he was telling Lady Gregory that he had just received a letter from India from a distinguished Buddhist who had read The Light of Asia and could find no fault in it; the Buddhist doctrine as related by him had been related faultlessly. And with this little anecdote Sir Edwin thought my question sufficiently answered. The conversation turned on the coloured races, and I remember Sir Edwin's words. The world will not be perfect, he said, until we get the black notes into the gamut. A pretty bit of Telegraphese which pleased Lady Gregory; and when Sir Edwin rose to go she produced a fan and asked him to write his name upon one of the sticks. But she did not ask me to write my name, though at that time I had written not only A Modern Lover, but also A Mummer's Wife, and I left the house feeling for the first time that the world I lived in was not so profound as I had imagined it to be. If I remember the circumstances quite rightly, Sir William came into the room just as I was leaving it, and she showed him the fan; he looked a little distressed at her want of tact, and it was some years afterward that I heard, and not without surprise, that she had shown some literary ability in the editing of his Memoirs. The publication of these Memoirs was a great day for Roxborough, but not such a great day for Ireland as the day she drove over to Tillyra.
I was not present at the time, but from Edward's account of the meeting she seems to have recognised her need in Yeats at once, foreseeing dimly, of course, but foreseeing that he would help her out of conventions and prejudices, and give her wings to soar in the free air of ideas and instincts. She was manifestly captured by his genius, and seemed to dread that the inspiration the hills of Sligo had nourished might wither in the Temple where he used to spend long months with his friend Arthur Symons. He had finished all his best work at the time, the work whereby he will live; The Countess Cathleen had not long been written, and he was dreaming the poem of The Shadowy Waters, and where could he dream it more fortunately than by the lake at Coole? The wild swans gather there, and every summer he returned to Coole to write The Shadowy Waters, writing under her tutelage and she serving him as amanuensis, collecting the different versions, etc.
Thus much of the literary history of this time has already been written, but what has not been written, or only hinted at, is the interdependence of these two minds. It was he, no doubt, who suggested to her the writing of the Cuchulain legends. It must have been so, for he had long been dreaming an epic poem to be called Cuchulain; but feeling himself unable for so long a task he entrusted it to Lady Gregory, and led her from cabin to cabin in search of a style, and they returned to Coole ruminating the beautiful language of the peasants and the masterpiece quickening in it, Yeats a little sad, but by no means envious toward Lady Gregory, and sad, if at all, that his own stories in the volume entitled The Secret Rose were not written in living speech. It is pleasant to think that, as he opened the park gates for her to pass through, the thought glided into his mind that perhaps in some subsequent edition she might help him with the translation. But the moment was for the consideration of a difficulty that had arisen suddenly. The legends of Cuchulain are written in a very remote language, bearing little likeness to the modern Irish which Lady Gregory had learnt in common with everybody connected with the Irish Literary Movement, Yeats and myself excepted. A dictionary of the ancient language exists, and it is easy to look out a word; but a knowledge of Early or Middle Irish is only obtained gradually after years of study; Lady Gregory confesses herself in her preface to be no scholar, and that she pieced together her text from various French and German translations. This method recommends itself to Yeats, who says in his preface that by collating the various versions of the same tale and taking the best bits out of each the stories are now told perfectly for the first time, a singular view for a critic of Yeats's understanding to hold, a strange theory to advocate, the strangest, we do not hesitate to say, that has ever been put forward by so distinguished a poet and critic as Yeats. He was a severer critic the day that he threw out Edward's play with so much indignity in Tillyra. He was then a monk of literature, an inquisitor, a Torquemada, but in this preface he bows to Lady Gregory's taste as if she were the tale-teller that the world had been waiting for, one whose art exceeded that of Balzac or Turgenev, for neither would have claimed the right to refashion the old legends in accordance with his own taste or the taste of his neighbourhood. I left out a good deal, Lady Gregory writes in her preface, I thought you would not care about. The you refers to the people of Kiltartan, to whom Lady Gregory dedicates her book. It seems to me that Balzac and Turgenev would have taken a different view as to the duty of a modern writer to the old legends; both would have said: It is never justifiable to alter a legend; it has come down to us because it contains some precious message, and the message the legend carries will be lost or worsened if the story be altered or mutilated or deformed. And who am I, Balzac would have said, that I should alter a message that has come down from a far-off time, a message often enfolded in the tale so secretly that it is all things to all men? My province, he would have continued, is not to alter the story, but to interpret it, and we have not to listen very intently to hear him say: Not only I may, I must interpret. There can be little doubt that Yeats is often injudicious in his noble preface, and he exposes Lady Gregory to criticism when he depreciates the translation from which Lady Gregory said she worked. She might have written: Which I quote, for she follows Kuno Meyer's translation of The Wooing of Emer sentence by sentence, and it is our puzzle to discover how Kuno Meyer's English is worthless when he signs it and beautiful when Lady Gregory quotes it. A clear case of literary transubstantiation, I said, speaking of the miracle to a friend who happened to be a Roman Catholic, and she gave me the definition of the catechism: the substance is the same, but the accident is different. Or it may have been: the incident is the same and the substance is different; one cannot always be sure that one remembers theology correctly. A little examination, however, of Lady Gregory's text enabled us to dismiss the theological aspect as untenable. Here and there we find she has altered the words; Kuno Meyer's title is The Wooing of Emer; Lady Gregory has changed it to The Courting of Emer (she is writing living speech); and if Kuno Meyer wrote that Emer received Cuchulain in her bower, Lady Gregory, for the same reason, would certainly change it to: she asked him into her parlour. The word lawn in the sentence: and as the young girls were sitting together on their bench on the lawn they heard coming toward them a clattering of hooves, the creaking of a chariot, the grating of wheels, belongs to Lady Gregory; of that I am so sure that it would be needless for me to refer to Kuno Meyer's version of the legend.
No light diadem of praise Yeats sets on Lady Gregory's brow when he says that she has discovered a speech, beautiful as that of Morris, and a living speech into the bargain. He continues, that as she moved among her people she learnt to love the beautiful speech of those who think in Irish, and to understand that it is as true a dialect of English as the dialect that Burns wrote in. But when we look into the beautiful speech that Lady Gregory learnt as she moved among her people, we find that it consists of no more than a dozen turns of speech, dropped into pages of English so ordinary, that redeemed from these phrases it might appear in any newspaper without attracting attention. And she does not seem to have inquired if the phrases she uses are merely local or part of the English language; she writes again and again a phrase which we find in The Burial of Sir John Moore, evidently under the impression that she is writing something extremely Irish:
That the foe and the stranger should tread o'er his head, And we far away on the billow.
It would seem that in the opinion of many the line: And we far away on the billow, marks the poem as having been written by an Irishman, a careless criticism, for it is certain that the turn of speech referred to is to be found in Shakespeare, in Milton, in Morris, even in Dickens. It is heard in England in everyday speech, though not so often as it is heard in Ireland, but it is heard, and it was a mistake on Lady Gregory's part to accept it as characteristically Irish. And her mistake shows how very little thought she gave to the question of idiomatic speech. She writes: he, himself, instead of omitting the parasitical he as she might very well have done. The omission would have suggested Ireland without any violation to the English language; and her attitude toward the verb to be is quite unconsidered and commonplace. She does not seem to have realised that in Ireland the verb to be is used to imply continuous action; and it seems to me very important to have noticed that Irish English and Provincial English preserve a distinction that has disappeared from English as spoken in polite society and taught at Oxford and Cambridge. Everybody in Ireland and a great many among the English middle classes still say: I shall be seeing So-and-so tonight and will tell him, etc., and everybody in Ireland and a great number among the English middle classes still say: Will you be having your letters sent on, which is surely richer English than: Will you have your letters sent on? My parlourmaid always says: Will you be dressing for dinner tonight? and: Will you be wearing your silk hat tonight? thereby distinguishing between a simple and a continuous future action. It is our parlourmaids and their likes that carry on these subtleties of tense, a much more important point than the aspiration of the letter h. I have heard of something called Extension Lectures at Oxford and Cambridge, but, without having the least notion of what is meant by extension lectures, I would suggest that some of the yeomen of Oxfordshire should be sent for to teach the professors, learned, no doubt, in the Latin and Greek languages, but who have no English.
But the efforts of the uneducated to teach the educated would be made in vain; the English language is perishing and it is natural that it should perish with the race; race and grammatical sense go together. The English have striven—and done a great deal in the world; the English are a tired race, and their weariness betrays itself in the language, and the most decadent of all are the educated classes. We say in Ireland: I am just after feeding the birds, and this is a richer phrase, faintly different from: I have just fed the birds. All these delicate shades have dropped out of modern English; they still exist in the language, but they are no longer used, they are slightly archaic today, or provincial; and the source wherefrom the language is refreshed—rural English—is being destroyed by Board-schools. God help the writer who puts pen to paper in fifty years' time, for all that will be left of the language will be a dry shank-bone that has been lying a long while on the dust-heap of empire.
The difference between rural and urban speech should have been studied by Lady Gregory, but we fear she has not given a thought to it; she was just content to pepper her page with a few idiomatic turns of speech which she very often does not use correctly. It is what I think, said Ferogain, that it is the fire of Conaire, the High King, and I would be glad he not to be there tonight, for it would be a pity if harm would come on him or his life be shortened, for he is a branch in its blossom. To my ear—and I come from the same country as Lady Gregory—this is not living speech. What the Galway, and I may add the Mayo, peasant would say is: And it's glad I'd be if he wasn't there tonight. We read on and at the end of about ten lines we come upon: What use will it be I to speak to him? And then her pen fills up another page before she thinks it necessary to drop in: A welcome before you, a pretty phrase which may be idiom, though I have never heard it in either Mayo or Galway. We turn the leaves and catch sight of: And it's you have what all the men of Ulster are wanting in. If we continued a little further it is quite possible we should come upon: And they do be saying, and: It is what I think, but we should not meet anywhere in the book an attempt to make, to mould, or to fashion a language out of the idiom of the Galway peasant, and it is astonished I am altogether that Yeats could have brought himself to compare this patchwork to the beautiful speech of Morris or of Burns, and to speak of the manuscripts that were consulted, for Lady Gregory says herself in her preface that she cannot read the manuscripts, but has translated from the French and German versions of the stories. And it is mighty hard to know how he could have reconciled himself to the adaptation of barbaric tales to the drawing-room. He must have often said to himself: She wouldn't bowdlerise the Bible in the interests of the drawing-room. And the constant repetition of a phrase like: And it wasn't a chair they gave him but a stool, and it not in the corner, must have ended by boring him, for no one is so easily bored by the repetition of a phrase as Yeats; it must have been that phrase that drove him out of Coole and sent him off again in pursuit of the golden-haired Isolde, whom, perhaps, the poet missed or found in Brittany or in Passy.
And it was on one of those journeys that he discovered Synge, a man of such rough and uncultivated aspect that he looked as if he had come out of Derrinrush. He was not a peasant as Yeats first supposed, but came, like all great writers, from the middle classes; his mother had a house in Kingstown which he avoided as much as possible, and it was in the Rue d'Arras that Yeats found him, dans une chambre meublée on the fifth floor. He was on his way back to Ireland, and might stay at Kingstown for a while, till his next quarter's allowance came in (he had but sixty pounds a year), but as soon as he got it he would be away to the West, to the Arran Islands. Yeats gasped; and it was the romance of living half one's life in the Latin Quarter and the other half in the Arran Islands that captured Yeats's imagination. He must have lent a willing ear to Synge's tale of an unpublished manuscript, a book which he had written about the Arran Islands; but his interest in it doubtless flagged when Synge told him that it was not written in peasant speech. Synge must have answered: But peasant speech in Arran is Irish. Yeats remembered with regret that this was so, for he would have preferred Anglo-Irish; and he listened to Synge telling him that he had some colloquial knowledge of the Irish language. He had had to pick up a little Irish; life in Arran would be impossible without Irish, and Yeats awoke from his meditation.
This strange Irishman was a solitary, who only cared to talk with peasants, and was interested in things rather than ideas. In the Rue d'Arras it must have been Yeats that did all the admiration, and Synge must have been a little bored, but quite willing that Yeats should discover in him a man of genius, a strange experience for Synge, who, however convinced he was inly of his own genius, must have wondered how Yeats had divined it, for Yeats had not pretended to feel any interest in the articles on French writers that Synge had sent round to the English Press, adding thereby sometimes a few pounds to his income, but only sometimes, for these articles were so trite that they were seldom accepted; John Eglinton confesses once a year that he could not stomach the article that Synge sent to him for publication in Dana; and they were so incorrectly written that Best, who knew Synge in the Rue d'Arras, tells that he used to go over them, for Synge could not write correctly at that time. Only one out of three was accepted, and the one that came to Dana no doubt came with all the edges worn by continual transmission through the post. It is Best that should write about Synge, for he helped him to furnish his room in the Rue d'Arras; Synge was very helpless in the actual affairs of life; he could not go out and buy furniture; Best had to go with him, and they brought home a mattress and some chairs and a bed on a barrow, and then returned to fetch the rest. There was a fiddle hanging on the wall of the garret in the Rue d'Arras, but as Synge never played it, Best began to wonder if Synge could play, and as if suspecting Best of disbelief in his music, Synge took it down one evening and drew the bow across the strings in a way that convinced Best, who played the fiddle himself; and, as if satisfied, he returned the fiddle to its nail, saying that he only played it in the Arran Islands in the evenings when the peasants wanted to dance. They have no ear for music, he said, and do not recognise a melody. What! exclaimed Best. Only as they recognise the cry of a bird or animal, not as a musician. Only the beat of the jig enters their ears, Best replied in a voice tinged with melancholy.
In Yeats's imagination, playing the fiddle to the Arran Islanders, and reciting poems to them, are one and the same thing, and he recognised instantly in Synge the Gleeman that was in himself, but had remained, and would remain for ever, unrealised; and his imagination caught fire at the conjunction of the Rue d'Arras and the Arran Islands. And whosoever has followed this narrative so far can see Yeats leaning forward in Synge's chair, getting more and more interested in him at every moment, his literary passions rising till they carried him to his feet and set him walking about the dusty carpet from the window to the table at which Synge worked, crying: Come to Ireland and write folk-plays for me. A play about Arran.
But the play I've shown you—
Is of no account. The language will help you to know your own people.
And, better than any description, this dialogue represents the meeting of Yeats and Synge in the Rue d'Arras, Synge's large impassive face into which hardly any light of expression ever came, listening to Yeats with a look of perplexity moving over its immobility, and Yeats's passion, purely literary, steadily mounting. You must come back and perfect yourself in the language; you must live among the people again, he reports himself to have said. You must come to Ireland. A theatre is building in Dublin for the production of folk-plays, or soon will be building; and he told Synge how Miss Horniman, a lady of literary tastes and ample income, had decided to give to Dublin what no other city in an English-speaking country possessed—a subventioned theatre. Write me an Arran play. We will open the theatre with it; and he began to speak of Synge's immediate return to Arran. I should die, Synge is reported to have answered. Not before you have written the masterpiece, Yeats answered, and he continued day after day to subjugate Synge's mind, till one Saturday evening, after a talk lasting till long past midnight, Synge declared his adherence to the new creed of living speech.
When a man's mind is made up, his feet must set out on the way, Yeats replied. Synge acquiesced, and when he had received two little cheques which were due to him for articles, he folded his luggage according to promise, and a few days after presented himself at the Nassau Hotel, and was introduced to Lady Gregory, who encouraged him to confide in her; and he told her the story of his health, and she very kindly took his part against Yeats, who was all for Arran, not for the middle island, for there only Irish is spoken. And the dialect is what we want. That may be, Mr Yeats, but Mr Synge may not be able to stand the climate in the autumn. And she turned to Synge, who told her that the best time would be a little later, when the people would be out digging in their potato fields. Lady Gregory agreed that this was so, and after some demur Yeats yielded, as he always does to Lady Gregory, and the three were of one mind that the mild climate of Wicklow was suitable to Synge's health, and also to the study of living speech, for the tinkers met in Wicklow in the autumn, Yeats cried. You mustn't miss the gathering. And a few days later Synge wrote that he had been fortunate enough to fall in with a band of tinkers. He had heard a tall, lean man cry after a screaming girl: Black Hell to your sowl! you've followed me so far, you'll follow me to the end! And driving their shaggy ponies and lean horses up a hillside, the tinkers made for their annual assemblage, exchanging their wives and arranging the roads they were to take, the signs to be left at the cross roads, the fairs they were to attend, and the meeting-places for the following year. But this was not all the good news. Synge had gained the good-will of a certain tinker and his wife, and was learning their life and language as they strolled along the lanes, cadging and stealing as they went, squatting at eventide on the side of a dry ditch. Like a hare in a gap he listened, and when he had mastered every turn of their speech he left the tinker and turned into the hills, spending some weeks with a cottager, joining a little later another group of tinkers accompanied by a servant-girl who had suddenly wearied of scrubbing and mangling, boiling for pigs, cooking, and working dough, and making beds in the evening. It would be better, she had thought, to lie under the hedgerow; and in telling me of this girl, Synge seemed to be telling me his own story. He, too, disliked the regular life of his mother's house, and preferred to wander with the tinkers, and when tired of them to lie abed smoking with a peasant, and awake amid the smells of shag and potato-skins in the sieve in the corner of the room. In answer to an inquiry how the day passed in the cottage, he told me that after breakfast he scrambled over a low wall out of which grew a single hawthorn, and looked round for a place where he might loosen his strap, and when that job was done he kept on walking ahead thinking out the dialogue of his plays, modifying it at every stile after a gossip with some herdsman or pig-jobber, whomever he might meet, returning through the cold spring evening, when the stars shine brightly through the naked trees, licking his lips, appreciating the fine flavour of some drunkard's oath or blasphemy.
Yeats was at this time in the hands of the Fays and a Committee, and the performances of the National Theatre were given in different halls; and when Synge came up from the country to read Riders to the Sea to the company, Yeats, who did not wish to have any misunderstanding on the subject, cried: Sophocles! across the table, and, fearing that he was not impressive enough, he said: No, Aeschylus! And that same afternoon he said to me in Grafton Street: I would I were as sure of your future and of my own as I am of Synge's. Irishmen, he said, had written well before Synge, but they had written well by casting off Ireland; but Synge was the first man that Ireland had inspired; and I asked if he were going to find his fortune in Ireland, his literary fortune, for The Well of the Saints had very nearly emptied the Abbey Theatre. We were but twenty in the stalls: the Yeats family, Sarah Purser, William Bailey, John Eglinton, AE, Longworth, and dear Edward, who supported the Abbey Theatre, though he was averse from peasant plays. All this sneering at Catholic practices is utterly distasteful to me, he said to me. I can hear the whining voice of the proselytiser through it all. I never will go against my opinions, and when I hear the Sacred Name I assure you—You mean the name of God, Edward, don't you? I never like to mention it. The Sacred Name is enough. But if you are speaking French you say Mon Dieu at every sentence. If it isn't wrong in one language, how can it be wrong in another? A smile trickled across Edward's face, round and large and russet as a ripe pumpkin, and he muttered: Mon ami Moore, mon ami Moore.
He was in the Abbey the first night of the Playboy, and on my return from Paris he told me that though the noise was great, he had heard enough blasphemy to keep him out of the theatre thenceforth, and next morning he had read in the papers that Ireland had been exhibited in a shameful light as an immoral country. And oddly enough, the scene of the immorality is your own native town, George. He told me that the hooting had begun about the middle of the third act at the words: If all the women of Mayo were standing before me, and they in their—He shrank from completing the sentence, and muttered something about the evocation of a disgusting spectacle.
I agree with you, Edward, that shift evokes a picture of blay calico; but the delightful underwear of Madame—
Now, George.
And then, amused at his own folly, which he can no more overcome than anybody else, he began to laugh, shaking like a jelly, puffing solemnly all the while at his churchwarden.
The indignation was so great that I thought sometimes the pit was going to break in. Lower the bloody curtain, and give us something we bloody well want, a crowded pit kept on shouting. And looking at Edward I imagined I could see him in the stalls near the stage, turning round in terror, his face growing purpler and purpler. All the same, he said, though the pain that Synge's irreverent remarks caused me is very great, I disapprove altogether of interrupting a performance. But Yeats shouldn't have called in the police. A Nationalist should never call for the police.
But, Edward, supposing a housebreaker forces his way in here or into Tillyra?
He said that that was different, and after wasting some time in discussion regarding the liberty of speech and the rights of property, he asked me if I had read the play, and I told him that on reading about the tumult in the Abbey Theatre I had telegraphed from Paris for a copy, and that the first lines convinced me that Ireland had at last begotten a masterpiece—the first lines of Pegeen Mike's letter to Mr Michael O'Flaherty, general dealer, in Castlebar, for six yards of stuff for to make a yellow gown, a pair of boots with lengthy heels on them and brassy eyes, a hat as suited for a wedding day, a fine-tooth comb. Never was there such a picture of peasant life in a few lines; and at every sentence my admiration increased. At the end of the act I cried out: A masterpiece! a masterpiece! Of course, they felt insulted. The girls coming in with presents for the young stranger pleased me, but a cold wind of doubt seemed to blow over the pages when the father came on the stage, a bloody bandage about his head, and—Edward—you're asleep!
No, I'm listening.
So clearly did I see disaster in that bloody bandage that I could hardly read through the third act. But you see nothing in the play.
Yes, I do, only it's a little thing. Shawn Keogh is a very good character, and the Widow Quinn is not bad either.
But the language, Edward?
You have made up your mind that this play is a masterpiece, but I am not going to give in to you.
But the style, Edward?
It isn't English. I like the Irish language and the English language, but I don't like the mixture; and then puffing at his pipe for a few seconds he said: I like the intellectual drama.
The conversation turned upon Ibsen, and we talked pleasantly until one in the morning, and then bidding him good night I returned to Ely Place, delighted at my own perspicacity, for there could be no doubt that it was the bloody bandage that caused the row in the Abbey Theatre. The language is beautiful, but—I had admitted to Edward that I had only glanced through the third act, and Edward had answered: If you had read the whole of it you might be of my opinion. It wasn't likely that Edward and I should agree about the Playboy, but it might well be that I was judging it hurriedly, and it would have been wiser, I reflected, to have read the play through before attempting to explain why the humour of the audience had changed suddenly, and I resolved to read the play next morning. But my dislike of reading is so great that I overlooked it, and when Yeats came to see me, instead of the praise which he had come to hear, and which he was craving for, he heard some rather vain dissertations and only half-hearted praise. Again my impulsiveness was my ruin. The play would have been understood if it had been read carefully, and the evening would have been one of exaltation, whereas it went by mournfully, Yeats in the chimney-corner listening to suggestions that would preserve the comedy note. He went away depressed, saying, however, that it would be as well that I should write to Synge about his play, since I liked the greater part. But he did not think that Synge would make any alterations. And the letter I sent to Synge was superficial. I hope he destroyed it. He was glad that his play had pleased me, but he could not alter the third act. It had been written again and again—thirteen times. That is all I remember of his letter, interesting on account of the circumstances in which it was written and the rarity of Synge's correspondence. It is a pity his letter was destroyed and no copy kept; our letters would illuminate the page that I am now writing, exhibiting us both in our weakness and our strength—Synge in his strength, for if the play had been altered we should have all been disgraced, and it was Yeats's courage that saved us in Dublin. He did not argue, he piled affirmation upon affirmation, and he succeeded in the end ... but we will not anticipate.
But if Dublin would not listen to the Playboy, Dublin read the text; edition after edition was published, and we talked the Playboy round our firesides. How we talked! Week after week, month after month, the Abbey Theatre declining all the while, till at last the brothers Fay rose in revolt against Yeats's management, accusing him of hindering the dramatic movement by producing no plays except those written by his intimate friends. Yeats repelled the accusation by offering to submit those that he had rejected to the judgment of Professor Tyrrell, a quite unnecessary concession on the part of Yeats, for Willie Fay is but an amusing Irish comedian, and it was presumptuous for him and his brother to set themselves against a poet. They resigned, and one night Yeats came to me with the grave news that the Fays had seceded.
I feel I must talk to somebody he said, flinging himself into a chair.
AE is the only man who can distribute courage, but Yeats and AE were no longer friends, and I was but a poor purveyor. It is true that I told him, and without hesitation, that the secession of the Fays was a blessing in disguise, and that now he was master in his own house the Abbey Theatre would begin to flourish, and it would have been well if I had confined myself to pleasant prophesying; but very few can resist the temptation to give good advice. One thing, Yeats, I have always had in mind, but never liked to tell you; it is that the way you come down the steps from the stage and stride up the stalls and alight by Lady Gregory irritates the audience, and if you will allow me to be perfectly frank, I will tell you that she is a little too imposing, too suggestive of Corinne or Madame de Staël. Corinne and Madame de Staël were one and the same person, weren't they? But you don't know, Yeats, do you? And so I went on pulling the cord, letting down volumes of water upon poor Yeats, who crouched and shivered. The water, always cold, was at times very icy, for instance when I said that his dreams of reviving Jonson's Volpone must be abandoned. If you aren't very careful, Yeats, the Academic idea will overgrow the folk.
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Today's Reading, via Project Gutenberg:
Lady Gregory is a Persse, and the Persses are an ancient Galway family; the best-known branch is the Moyaude branch, for it was at Moyaude that Burton Persse bred and hunted the Galway Blazers for over thirty years ... till his death. Moyaude has passed away, but Roxborough continues, never having indulged in either horses or hounds, a worthy but undistinguished family in love, in war, or in politics, never having indulged in anything except a taste for Bible reading in the cottages. A staunch Protestant family, if nothing else, the Roxborough Persses certainly are. Mrs Persse and her two elder daughters were ardent soul-gatherers in the days gone by, but Lady Gregory did not join them in their missionary work, holding always to the belief that there was great danger in persuading any one to leave the religion learnt in childhood, for we could never be sure that another would find a place in the heart. In saying as much she wins our hearts, but our intelligence warns us against the seduction, and we remember that we may not acquiesce in what we believe to be error. The ignorant and numbed mind cannot be acceptable to God, so do we think, and take our stand with Mrs Persse and the elder sisters. We are glad, however, though we are not sure that our gladness on such a point is not a sign of weakness, still we are glad that Sir William chose Augusta rather than one of her elder sisters, either of whom would certainly have fired up in the carriage when Sir William, on his way to Coole, suggested to his bride that she should refrain from pointing out to his tenants what she believed to be a different teaching of the Bible from that which they received from the parish priest. He would probably say: You have made no converts—(we have forgotten Mrs Shaw Taylor's Christian name, but Agnes will serve our purpose as well as another)—you have made no converts, Agnes, but you have shaken the faith of thousands. The ground at Roxborough has been cleared for the sowing, but Kiltartan can wait. Which Path Should Agnes Have Followed? is clearly the title of a six-shilling novel which I pass on to my contemporaries; meanwhile I have pleasure in stating here, for my statement is implicated in an artistic movement, the Abbey Theatre, that the Gospels were never read by Lady Gregory round Kiltartan. I should like to fill in a page or two about her married life, but though we know our neighbours very well in one direction, in another there is nothing that we know less than our neighbours, and Lady Gregory has never been for me a very real person. I imagine her without a mother, or father, or sisters, or brothers, sans attache. It is difficult to believe, but it is nevertheless true, that fearing a too flagrant mistake, I had to ask a friend the other day if I were right in supposing that Mrs Shaw Taylor was Lady Gregory's sister, an absurd question truly, for Mrs Shaw Taylor's house (I have forgotten its name) is within a mile of Tillyra, and I must have been there many times. We may cultivate our memories in one direction, but by so doing we curtail them in another, and documentary evidence jars my style. I like to write of Lady Gregory from the evening that Edward drove me over to Coole, the night of the dinner-party. There is in the first part of this book a portrait of her as I saw her that night, a slim young woman of medium height and slight figure; her hair, parted in the middle, was brushed in wide bands about a brow which even at that time was intellectual. The phrase previously used, if my memory does not deceive me, was high and cultured; I think I said that she wore a high-school air, and the phrase expresses the idea she conveyed to me—an air of mixed timidity and restrained anxiety. On the whole it was pleasant to pass from her to Sir William, who was more at his ease, more natural. He spoke to me affably about a Velasquez in the National Gallery, which was not a Velasquez; it is now set down as a Zurbaran, but the last attribution does not convince me any more than the first. He wore the Lord Palmerston air; it was the air of that generation, but he did not wear it nearly so well as my father.
These two men were of the same generation and their interests were the same; both were travelled men; Sir William's travels were not so original as my father's, and the racehorses that he kept were not so fast, and his politics were not so definite; he was more of an opportunist than my father, more careful and cautious, and therefore less interesting. Galway has not produced so many interesting man as Mayo; its pastures are richer, but its men are thinner in intellect. But if we are considering Lady Gregory's rise in the world, we must admit that she owes a great deal to her husband. He took her to London, and she enjoyed at least one season in a tall house in the little enclosure known as St George's Place; and there met a number of eminent men whose books and conversation were in harmony with her conception of life, still somewhat formal. One afternoon Lecky the historian left her drawing-room as I entered it, and I remember the look of pleasure on her face when she mentioned the name of her visitor, and her pleasure did not end with Lecky, for a few minutes afterwards Edwin Arnold, the poet of The Light of Asia, was announced. She would have liked to have had him all to herself, and I think that she thought my conversation a little ill advised when I spoke to Sir Edwin of a book lately published on the subject of Buddhism, and asked him what book was the best to read on this subject. He did not answer my question directly, but very soon he was telling Lady Gregory that he had just received a letter from India from a distinguished Buddhist who had read The Light of Asia and could find no fault in it; the Buddhist doctrine as related by him had been related faultlessly. And with this little anecdote Sir Edwin thought my question sufficiently answered. The conversation turned on the coloured races, and I remember Sir Edwin's words. The world will not be perfect, he said, until we get the black notes into the gamut. A pretty bit of Telegraphese which pleased Lady Gregory; and when Sir Edwin rose to go she produced a fan and asked him to write his name upon one of the sticks. But she did not ask me to write my name, though at that time I had written not only A Modern Lover, but also A Mummer's Wife, and I left the house feeling for the first time that the world I lived in was not so profound as I had imagined it to be. If I remember the circumstances quite rightly, Sir William came into the room just as I was leaving it, and she showed him the fan; he looked a little distressed at her want of tact, and it was some years afterward that I heard, and not without surprise, that she had shown some literary ability in the editing of his Memoirs. The publication of these Memoirs was a great day for Roxborough, but not such a great day for Ireland as the day she drove over to Tillyra.
I was not present at the time, but from Edward's account of the meeting she seems to have recognised her need in Yeats at once, foreseeing dimly, of course, but foreseeing that he would help her out of conventions and prejudices, and give her wings to soar in the free air of ideas and instincts. She was manifestly captured by his genius, and seemed to dread that the inspiration the hills of Sligo had nourished might wither in the Temple where he used to spend long months with his friend Arthur Symons. He had finished all his best work at the time, the work whereby he will live; The Countess Cathleen had not long been written, and he was dreaming the poem of The Shadowy Waters, and where could he dream it more fortunately than by the lake at Coole? The wild swans gather there, and every summer he returned to Coole to write The Shadowy Waters, writing under her tutelage and she serving him as amanuensis, collecting the different versions, etc.
Thus much of the literary history of this time has already been written, but what has not been written, or only hinted at, is the interdependence of these two minds. It was he, no doubt, who suggested to her the writing of the Cuchulain legends. It must have been so, for he had long been dreaming an epic poem to be called Cuchulain; but feeling himself unable for so long a task he entrusted it to Lady Gregory, and led her from cabin to cabin in search of a style, and they returned to Coole ruminating the beautiful language of the peasants and the masterpiece quickening in it, Yeats a little sad, but by no means envious toward Lady Gregory, and sad, if at all, that his own stories in the volume entitled The Secret Rose were not written in living speech. It is pleasant to think that, as he opened the park gates for her to pass through, the thought glided into his mind that perhaps in some subsequent edition she might help him with the translation. But the moment was for the consideration of a difficulty that had arisen suddenly. The legends of Cuchulain are written in a very remote language, bearing little likeness to the modern Irish which Lady Gregory had learnt in common with everybody connected with the Irish Literary Movement, Yeats and myself excepted. A dictionary of the ancient language exists, and it is easy to look out a word; but a knowledge of Early or Middle Irish is only obtained gradually after years of study; Lady Gregory confesses herself in her preface to be no scholar, and that she pieced together her text from various French and German translations. This method recommends itself to Yeats, who says in his preface that by collating the various versions of the same tale and taking the best bits out of each the stories are now told perfectly for the first time, a singular view for a critic of Yeats's understanding to hold, a strange theory to advocate, the strangest, we do not hesitate to say, that has ever been put forward by so distinguished a poet and critic as Yeats. He was a severer critic the day that he threw out Edward's play with so much indignity in Tillyra. He was then a monk of literature, an inquisitor, a Torquemada, but in this preface he bows to Lady Gregory's taste as if she were the tale-teller that the world had been waiting for, one whose art exceeded that of Balzac or Turgenev, for neither would have claimed the right to refashion the old legends in accordance with his own taste or the taste of his neighbourhood. I left out a good deal, Lady Gregory writes in her preface, I thought you would not care about. The you refers to the people of Kiltartan, to whom Lady Gregory dedicates her book. It seems to me that Balzac and Turgenev would have taken a different view as to the duty of a modern writer to the old legends; both would have said: It is never justifiable to alter a legend; it has come down to us because it contains some precious message, and the message the legend carries will be lost or worsened if the story be altered or mutilated or deformed. And who am I, Balzac would have said, that I should alter a message that has come down from a far-off time, a message often enfolded in the tale so secretly that it is all things to all men? My province, he would have continued, is not to alter the story, but to interpret it, and we have not to listen very intently to hear him say: Not only I may, I must interpret. There can be little doubt that Yeats is often injudicious in his noble preface, and he exposes Lady Gregory to criticism when he depreciates the translation from which Lady Gregory said she worked. She might have written: Which I quote, for she follows Kuno Meyer's translation of The Wooing of Emer sentence by sentence, and it is our puzzle to discover how Kuno Meyer's English is worthless when he signs it and beautiful when Lady Gregory quotes it. A clear case of literary transubstantiation, I said, speaking of the miracle to a friend who happened to be a Roman Catholic, and she gave me the definition of the catechism: the substance is the same, but the accident is different. Or it may have been: the incident is the same and the substance is different; one cannot always be sure that one remembers theology correctly. A little examination, however, of Lady Gregory's text enabled us to dismiss the theological aspect as untenable. Here and there we find she has altered the words; Kuno Meyer's title is The Wooing of Emer; Lady Gregory has changed it to The Courting of Emer (she is writing living speech); and if Kuno Meyer wrote that Emer received Cuchulain in her bower, Lady Gregory, for the same reason, would certainly change it to: she asked him into her parlour. The word lawn in the sentence: and as the young girls were sitting together on their bench on the lawn they heard coming toward them a clattering of hooves, the creaking of a chariot, the grating of wheels, belongs to Lady Gregory; of that I am so sure that it would be needless for me to refer to Kuno Meyer's version of the legend.
No light diadem of praise Yeats sets on Lady Gregory's brow when he says that she has discovered a speech, beautiful as that of Morris, and a living speech into the bargain. He continues, that as she moved among her people she learnt to love the beautiful speech of those who think in Irish, and to understand that it is as true a dialect of English as the dialect that Burns wrote in. But when we look into the beautiful speech that Lady Gregory learnt as she moved among her people, we find that it consists of no more than a dozen turns of speech, dropped into pages of English so ordinary, that redeemed from these phrases it might appear in any newspaper without attracting attention. And she does not seem to have inquired if the phrases she uses are merely local or part of the English language; she writes again and again a phrase which we find in The Burial of Sir John Moore, evidently under the impression that she is writing something extremely Irish:
That the foe and the stranger should tread o'er his head, And we far away on the billow.
It would seem that in the opinion of many the line: And we far away on the billow, marks the poem as having been written by an Irishman, a careless criticism, for it is certain that the turn of speech referred to is to be found in Shakespeare, in Milton, in Morris, even in Dickens. It is heard in England in everyday speech, though not so often as it is heard in Ireland, but it is heard, and it was a mistake on Lady Gregory's part to accept it as characteristically Irish. And her mistake shows how very little thought she gave to the question of idiomatic speech. She writes: he, himself, instead of omitting the parasitical he as she might very well have done. The omission would have suggested Ireland without any violation to the English language; and her attitude toward the verb to be is quite unconsidered and commonplace. She does not seem to have realised that in Ireland the verb to be is used to imply continuous action; and it seems to me very important to have noticed that Irish English and Provincial English preserve a distinction that has disappeared from English as spoken in polite society and taught at Oxford and Cambridge. Everybody in Ireland and a great many among the English middle classes still say: I shall be seeing So-and-so tonight and will tell him, etc., and everybody in Ireland and a great number among the English middle classes still say: Will you be having your letters sent on, which is surely richer English than: Will you have your letters sent on? My parlourmaid always says: Will you be dressing for dinner tonight? and: Will you be wearing your silk hat tonight? thereby distinguishing between a simple and a continuous future action. It is our parlourmaids and their likes that carry on these subtleties of tense, a much more important point than the aspiration of the letter h. I have heard of something called Extension Lectures at Oxford and Cambridge, but, without having the least notion of what is meant by extension lectures, I would suggest that some of the yeomen of Oxfordshire should be sent for to teach the professors, learned, no doubt, in the Latin and Greek languages, but who have no English.
But the efforts of the uneducated to teach the educated would be made in vain; the English language is perishing and it is natural that it should perish with the race; race and grammatical sense go together. The English have striven—and done a great deal in the world; the English are a tired race, and their weariness betrays itself in the language, and the most decadent of all are the educated classes. We say in Ireland: I am just after feeding the birds, and this is a richer phrase, faintly different from: I have just fed the birds. All these delicate shades have dropped out of modern English; they still exist in the language, but they are no longer used, they are slightly archaic today, or provincial; and the source wherefrom the language is refreshed—rural English—is being destroyed by Board-schools. God help the writer who puts pen to paper in fifty years' time, for all that will be left of the language will be a dry shank-bone that has been lying a long while on the dust-heap of empire.
The difference between rural and urban speech should have been studied by Lady Gregory, but we fear she has not given a thought to it; she was just content to pepper her page with a few idiomatic turns of speech which she very often does not use correctly. It is what I think, said Ferogain, that it is the fire of Conaire, the High King, and I would be glad he not to be there tonight, for it would be a pity if harm would come on him or his life be shortened, for he is a branch in its blossom. To my ear—and I come from the same country as Lady Gregory—this is not living speech. What the Galway, and I may add the Mayo, peasant would say is: And it's glad I'd be if he wasn't there tonight. We read on and at the end of about ten lines we come upon: What use will it be I to speak to him? And then her pen fills up another page before she thinks it necessary to drop in: A welcome before you, a pretty phrase which may be idiom, though I have never heard it in either Mayo or Galway. We turn the leaves and catch sight of: And it's you have what all the men of Ulster are wanting in. If we continued a little further it is quite possible we should come upon: And they do be saying, and: It is what I think, but we should not meet anywhere in the book an attempt to make, to mould, or to fashion a language out of the idiom of the Galway peasant, and it is astonished I am altogether that Yeats could have brought himself to compare this patchwork to the beautiful speech of Morris or of Burns, and to speak of the manuscripts that were consulted, for Lady Gregory says herself in her preface that she cannot read the manuscripts, but has translated from the French and German versions of the stories. And it is mighty hard to know how he could have reconciled himself to the adaptation of barbaric tales to the drawing-room. He must have often said to himself: She wouldn't bowdlerise the Bible in the interests of the drawing-room. And the constant repetition of a phrase like: And it wasn't a chair they gave him but a stool, and it not in the corner, must have ended by boring him, for no one is so easily bored by the repetition of a phrase as Yeats; it must have been that phrase that drove him out of Coole and sent him off again in pursuit of the golden-haired Isolde, whom, perhaps, the poet missed or found in Brittany or in Passy.
And it was on one of those journeys that he discovered Synge, a man of such rough and uncultivated aspect that he looked as if he had come out of Derrinrush. He was not a peasant as Yeats first supposed, but came, like all great writers, from the middle classes; his mother had a house in Kingstown which he avoided as much as possible, and it was in the Rue d'Arras that Yeats found him, dans une chambre meublée on the fifth floor. He was on his way back to Ireland, and might stay at Kingstown for a while, till his next quarter's allowance came in (he had but sixty pounds a year), but as soon as he got it he would be away to the West, to the Arran Islands. Yeats gasped; and it was the romance of living half one's life in the Latin Quarter and the other half in the Arran Islands that captured Yeats's imagination. He must have lent a willing ear to Synge's tale of an unpublished manuscript, a book which he had written about the Arran Islands; but his interest in it doubtless flagged when Synge told him that it was not written in peasant speech. Synge must have answered: But peasant speech in Arran is Irish. Yeats remembered with regret that this was so, for he would have preferred Anglo-Irish; and he listened to Synge telling him that he had some colloquial knowledge of the Irish language. He had had to pick up a little Irish; life in Arran would be impossible without Irish, and Yeats awoke from his meditation.
This strange Irishman was a solitary, who only cared to talk with peasants, and was interested in things rather than ideas. In the Rue d'Arras it must have been Yeats that did all the admiration, and Synge must have been a little bored, but quite willing that Yeats should discover in him a man of genius, a strange experience for Synge, who, however convinced he was inly of his own genius, must have wondered how Yeats had divined it, for Yeats had not pretended to feel any interest in the articles on French writers that Synge had sent round to the English Press, adding thereby sometimes a few pounds to his income, but only sometimes, for these articles were so trite that they were seldom accepted; John Eglinton confesses once a year that he could not stomach the article that Synge sent to him for publication in Dana; and they were so incorrectly written that Best, who knew Synge in the Rue d'Arras, tells that he used to go over them, for Synge could not write correctly at that time. Only one out of three was accepted, and the one that came to Dana no doubt came with all the edges worn by continual transmission through the post. It is Best that should write about Synge, for he helped him to furnish his room in the Rue d'Arras; Synge was very helpless in the actual affairs of life; he could not go out and buy furniture; Best had to go with him, and they brought home a mattress and some chairs and a bed on a barrow, and then returned to fetch the rest. There was a fiddle hanging on the wall of the garret in the Rue d'Arras, but as Synge never played it, Best began to wonder if Synge could play, and as if suspecting Best of disbelief in his music, Synge took it down one evening and drew the bow across the strings in a way that convinced Best, who played the fiddle himself; and, as if satisfied, he returned the fiddle to its nail, saying that he only played it in the Arran Islands in the evenings when the peasants wanted to dance. They have no ear for music, he said, and do not recognise a melody. What! exclaimed Best. Only as they recognise the cry of a bird or animal, not as a musician. Only the beat of the jig enters their ears, Best replied in a voice tinged with melancholy.
In Yeats's imagination, playing the fiddle to the Arran Islanders, and reciting poems to them, are one and the same thing, and he recognised instantly in Synge the Gleeman that was in himself, but had remained, and would remain for ever, unrealised; and his imagination caught fire at the conjunction of the Rue d'Arras and the Arran Islands. And whosoever has followed this narrative so far can see Yeats leaning forward in Synge's chair, getting more and more interested in him at every moment, his literary passions rising till they carried him to his feet and set him walking about the dusty carpet from the window to the table at which Synge worked, crying: Come to Ireland and write folk-plays for me. A play about Arran.
But the play I've shown you—
Is of no account. The language will help you to know your own people.
And, better than any description, this dialogue represents the meeting of Yeats and Synge in the Rue d'Arras, Synge's large impassive face into which hardly any light of expression ever came, listening to Yeats with a look of perplexity moving over its immobility, and Yeats's passion, purely literary, steadily mounting. You must come back and perfect yourself in the language; you must live among the people again, he reports himself to have said. You must come to Ireland. A theatre is building in Dublin for the production of folk-plays, or soon will be building; and he told Synge how Miss Horniman, a lady of literary tastes and ample income, had decided to give to Dublin what no other city in an English-speaking country possessed—a subventioned theatre. Write me an Arran play. We will open the theatre with it; and he began to speak of Synge's immediate return to Arran. I should die, Synge is reported to have answered. Not before you have written the masterpiece, Yeats answered, and he continued day after day to subjugate Synge's mind, till one Saturday evening, after a talk lasting till long past midnight, Synge declared his adherence to the new creed of living speech.
When a man's mind is made up, his feet must set out on the way, Yeats replied. Synge acquiesced, and when he had received two little cheques which were due to him for articles, he folded his luggage according to promise, and a few days after presented himself at the Nassau Hotel, and was introduced to Lady Gregory, who encouraged him to confide in her; and he told her the story of his health, and she very kindly took his part against Yeats, who was all for Arran, not for the middle island, for there only Irish is spoken. And the dialect is what we want. That may be, Mr Yeats, but Mr Synge may not be able to stand the climate in the autumn. And she turned to Synge, who told her that the best time would be a little later, when the people would be out digging in their potato fields. Lady Gregory agreed that this was so, and after some demur Yeats yielded, as he always does to Lady Gregory, and the three were of one mind that the mild climate of Wicklow was suitable to Synge's health, and also to the study of living speech, for the tinkers met in Wicklow in the autumn, Yeats cried. You mustn't miss the gathering. And a few days later Synge wrote that he had been fortunate enough to fall in with a band of tinkers. He had heard a tall, lean man cry after a screaming girl: Black Hell to your sowl! you've followed me so far, you'll follow me to the end! And driving their shaggy ponies and lean horses up a hillside, the tinkers made for their annual assemblage, exchanging their wives and arranging the roads they were to take, the signs to be left at the cross roads, the fairs they were to attend, and the meeting-places for the following year. But this was not all the good news. Synge had gained the good-will of a certain tinker and his wife, and was learning their life and language as they strolled along the lanes, cadging and stealing as they went, squatting at eventide on the side of a dry ditch. Like a hare in a gap he listened, and when he had mastered every turn of their speech he left the tinker and turned into the hills, spending some weeks with a cottager, joining a little later another group of tinkers accompanied by a servant-girl who had suddenly wearied of scrubbing and mangling, boiling for pigs, cooking, and working dough, and making beds in the evening. It would be better, she had thought, to lie under the hedgerow; and in telling me of this girl, Synge seemed to be telling me his own story. He, too, disliked the regular life of his mother's house, and preferred to wander with the tinkers, and when tired of them to lie abed smoking with a peasant, and awake amid the smells of shag and potato-skins in the sieve in the corner of the room. In answer to an inquiry how the day passed in the cottage, he told me that after breakfast he scrambled over a low wall out of which grew a single hawthorn, and looked round for a place where he might loosen his strap, and when that job was done he kept on walking ahead thinking out the dialogue of his plays, modifying it at every stile after a gossip with some herdsman or pig-jobber, whomever he might meet, returning through the cold spring evening, when the stars shine brightly through the naked trees, licking his lips, appreciating the fine flavour of some drunkard's oath or blasphemy.
Yeats was at this time in the hands of the Fays and a Committee, and the performances of the National Theatre were given in different halls; and when Synge came up from the country to read Riders to the Sea to the company, Yeats, who did not wish to have any misunderstanding on the subject, cried: Sophocles! across the table, and, fearing that he was not impressive enough, he said: No, Aeschylus! And that same afternoon he said to me in Grafton Street: I would I were as sure of your future and of my own as I am of Synge's. Irishmen, he said, had written well before Synge, but they had written well by casting off Ireland; but Synge was the first man that Ireland had inspired; and I asked if he were going to find his fortune in Ireland, his literary fortune, for The Well of the Saints had very nearly emptied the Abbey Theatre. We were but twenty in the stalls: the Yeats family, Sarah Purser, William Bailey, John Eglinton, AE, Longworth, and dear Edward, who supported the Abbey Theatre, though he was averse from peasant plays. All this sneering at Catholic practices is utterly distasteful to me, he said to me. I can hear the whining voice of the proselytiser through it all. I never will go against my opinions, and when I hear the Sacred Name I assure you—You mean the name of God, Edward, don't you? I never like to mention it. The Sacred Name is enough. But if you are speaking French you say Mon Dieu at every sentence. If it isn't wrong in one language, how can it be wrong in another? A smile trickled across Edward's face, round and large and russet as a ripe pumpkin, and he muttered: Mon ami Moore, mon ami Moore.
He was in the Abbey the first night of the Playboy, and on my return from Paris he told me that though the noise was great, he had heard enough blasphemy to keep him out of the theatre thenceforth, and next morning he had read in the papers that Ireland had been exhibited in a shameful light as an immoral country. And oddly enough, the scene of the immorality is your own native town, George. He told me that the hooting had begun about the middle of the third act at the words: If all the women of Mayo were standing before me, and they in their—He shrank from completing the sentence, and muttered something about the evocation of a disgusting spectacle.
I agree with you, Edward, that shift evokes a picture of blay calico; but the delightful underwear of Madame—
Now, George.
And then, amused at his own folly, which he can no more overcome than anybody else, he began to laugh, shaking like a jelly, puffing solemnly all the while at his churchwarden.
The indignation was so great that I thought sometimes the pit was going to break in. Lower the bloody curtain, and give us something we bloody well want, a crowded pit kept on shouting. And looking at Edward I imagined I could see him in the stalls near the stage, turning round in terror, his face growing purpler and purpler. All the same, he said, though the pain that Synge's irreverent remarks caused me is very great, I disapprove altogether of interrupting a performance. But Yeats shouldn't have called in the police. A Nationalist should never call for the police.
But, Edward, supposing a housebreaker forces his way in here or into Tillyra?
He said that that was different, and after wasting some time in discussion regarding the liberty of speech and the rights of property, he asked me if I had read the play, and I told him that on reading about the tumult in the Abbey Theatre I had telegraphed from Paris for a copy, and that the first lines convinced me that Ireland had at last begotten a masterpiece—the first lines of Pegeen Mike's letter to Mr Michael O'Flaherty, general dealer, in Castlebar, for six yards of stuff for to make a yellow gown, a pair of boots with lengthy heels on them and brassy eyes, a hat as suited for a wedding day, a fine-tooth comb. Never was there such a picture of peasant life in a few lines; and at every sentence my admiration increased. At the end of the act I cried out: A masterpiece! a masterpiece! Of course, they felt insulted. The girls coming in with presents for the young stranger pleased me, but a cold wind of doubt seemed to blow over the pages when the father came on the stage, a bloody bandage about his head, and—Edward—you're asleep!
No, I'm listening.
So clearly did I see disaster in that bloody bandage that I could hardly read through the third act. But you see nothing in the play.
Yes, I do, only it's a little thing. Shawn Keogh is a very good character, and the Widow Quinn is not bad either.
But the language, Edward?
You have made up your mind that this play is a masterpiece, but I am not going to give in to you.
But the style, Edward?
It isn't English. I like the Irish language and the English language, but I don't like the mixture; and then puffing at his pipe for a few seconds he said: I like the intellectual drama.
The conversation turned upon Ibsen, and we talked pleasantly until one in the morning, and then bidding him good night I returned to Ely Place, delighted at my own perspicacity, for there could be no doubt that it was the bloody bandage that caused the row in the Abbey Theatre. The language is beautiful, but—I had admitted to Edward that I had only glanced through the third act, and Edward had answered: If you had read the whole of it you might be of my opinion. It wasn't likely that Edward and I should agree about the Playboy, but it might well be that I was judging it hurriedly, and it would have been wiser, I reflected, to have read the play through before attempting to explain why the humour of the audience had changed suddenly, and I resolved to read the play next morning. But my dislike of reading is so great that I overlooked it, and when Yeats came to see me, instead of the praise which he had come to hear, and which he was craving for, he heard some rather vain dissertations and only half-hearted praise. Again my impulsiveness was my ruin. The play would have been understood if it had been read carefully, and the evening would have been one of exaltation, whereas it went by mournfully, Yeats in the chimney-corner listening to suggestions that would preserve the comedy note. He went away depressed, saying, however, that it would be as well that I should write to Synge about his play, since I liked the greater part. But he did not think that Synge would make any alterations. And the letter I sent to Synge was superficial. I hope he destroyed it. He was glad that his play had pleased me, but he could not alter the third act. It had been written again and again—thirteen times. That is all I remember of his letter, interesting on account of the circumstances in which it was written and the rarity of Synge's correspondence. It is a pity his letter was destroyed and no copy kept; our letters would illuminate the page that I am now writing, exhibiting us both in our weakness and our strength—Synge in his strength, for if the play had been altered we should have all been disgraced, and it was Yeats's courage that saved us in Dublin. He did not argue, he piled affirmation upon affirmation, and he succeeded in the end ... but we will not anticipate.
But if Dublin would not listen to the Playboy, Dublin read the text; edition after edition was published, and we talked the Playboy round our firesides. How we talked! Week after week, month after month, the Abbey Theatre declining all the while, till at last the brothers Fay rose in revolt against Yeats's management, accusing him of hindering the dramatic movement by producing no plays except those written by his intimate friends. Yeats repelled the accusation by offering to submit those that he had rejected to the judgment of Professor Tyrrell, a quite unnecessary concession on the part of Yeats, for Willie Fay is but an amusing Irish comedian, and it was presumptuous for him and his brother to set themselves against a poet. They resigned, and one night Yeats came to me with the grave news that the Fays had seceded.
I feel I must talk to somebody he said, flinging himself into a chair.
AE is the only man who can distribute courage, but Yeats and AE were no longer friends, and I was but a poor purveyor. It is true that I told him, and without hesitation, that the secession of the Fays was a blessing in disguise, and that now he was master in his own house the Abbey Theatre would begin to flourish, and it would have been well if I had confined myself to pleasant prophesying; but very few can resist the temptation to give good advice. One thing, Yeats, I have always had in mind, but never liked to tell you; it is that the way you come down the steps from the stage and stride up the stalls and alight by Lady Gregory irritates the audience, and if you will allow me to be perfectly frank, I will tell you that she is a little too imposing, too suggestive of Corinne or Madame de Staël. Corinne and Madame de Staël were one and the same person, weren't they? But you don't know, Yeats, do you? And so I went on pulling the cord, letting down volumes of water upon poor Yeats, who crouched and shivered. The water, always cold, was at times very icy, for instance when I said that his dreams of reviving Jonson's Volpone must be abandoned. If you aren't very careful, Yeats, the Academic idea will overgrow the folk.
2023.05.23 00:59 haa_ha_ha Affordable online 26/28 plus size clothing
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2023.05.23 00:58 crawsabi LeBron's Time-Traveling Dimes: Bringing Back Legends to Make History
I've been pondering a hypothetical scenario (running it thru Chatgpt, so lmk if there are errors), and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Lakers find themselves in a dire situation against the Denver Nuggets in the West Conference Finals, down 0-3. Now, if Bron commits a travel that serendipitously brings back one Lakers player from the past to help turn the tides and inspire the current team to make history, what year would we want Bron time travel to?
After some research on the 25 greatest statistical seasons in Lakers franchise history, chat&I narrowed down the list of potential candidates. Here are a few notable players to choose from:
Kobe Bryant:
Magic Johnson:
Shaquille O'Neal:
Jerry West:
Pau Gasol:
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Elgin Baylor:
Wilt Chamberlain:
edit: added approximate measurements
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After some research on the 25 greatest statistical seasons in Lakers franchise history, chat&I narrowed down the list of potential candidates. Here are a few notable players to choose from:
Kobe Bryant:
- Height: 6 feet 6 inches (1.98 meters)
- Weight: Approximately 212 pounds (96 kilograms)
- Wingspan: Around 6 feet 7 inches (2.01 meters)
- Standing Reach: Approximately 8 feet 4 inches (2.54 meters)
- Vertical Leap: Estimated at 38-40 inches (96-101 cm)
- If Kobe Bryant returned to the Lakers' current roster, his scoring prowess and clutch performances would immediately elevate the team's offensive firepower. His ability to create his own shot and excel under pressure would open up more space for Bron/Davis/Rui to operate in the paint. Defensively, Kobe's tenacity and versatility would set the tone and disrupt the Nuggets' offense especially if he is locked onto Murray. That would be a trickle down effect as Vando will be focused on MPJ or helping Rui with Jokic. Kobe's defensive intensity would raise the team's overall energy and make it harder for the Nuggets to find offensive rhythm.
- 2005-2006 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 35.4 PPG, 5.3 RPG, 4.5 APG, 1.8 SPG, 45.0% FG, 34.7% 3P, 85.0% FT
- Playoff Stats: 27.9 PPG, 5.5 RPG, 4.3 APG, 1.4 SPG, 46.5% FG, 33.9% 3P, 81.8% FT
- Achievements: Led the league in scoring, scored a career-high 81 points in a single game against the Toronto Raptors.
- Playoff Performance: Advanced to the first round but lost to the Nash/Stoudemire/Marion Phoenix Suns.
- 2006-2007 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 31.6 PPG, 5.7 RPG, 5.4 APG, 1.4 SPG, 46.3% FG, 34.1% 3P, 86.8% FT
- Playoff Stats: 32.8 PPG, 5.7 RPG, 5.3 APG, 1.4 SPG, 46.7% FG, 33.3% 3P, 82.5% FT
- Achievements: Led the league in scoring for the second consecutive season.
- Playoff Performance: Reached the first round but fell short against the Nash/Stoudemire/Marion Phoenix Suns.
- 2007-2008 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 28.3 PPG, 6.3 RPG, 5.4 APG, 1.8 SPG, 45.9% FG, 36.1% 3P, 84.5% FT
- Playoff Stats: 30.1 PPG, 5.7 RPG, 5.6 APG, 1.7 SPG, 46.1% FG, 32.7% 3P, 81.8% FT
- Achievements: Named the NBA Most Valuable Player (MVP) for the first time in his career.
- Playoff Performance: Guided the Lakers to the NBA Finals but lost to the Pierce/KG/Allen Boston Celtics.
- 2009-2010 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 27.0 PPG, 5.4 RPG, 5.0 APG, 1.5 SPG, 45.6% FG, 32.9% 3P, 81.7% FT
- Playoff Stats: 29.2 PPG, 6.0 RPG, 5.5 APG, 1.3 SPG, 46.3% FG, 35.1% 3P, 88.9% FT
- Achievements: Led the Lakers to the NBA championship, earning his fifth championship ring.
- Playoff Performance: Played a crucial role in winning the NBA Finals against the Pierce/KG/Allen Boston Celtics, delivering clutch performances.
- 2005-2006 Season:
Magic Johnson:
- Height: 6 feet 9 inches (2.06 meters)
- Weight: Approximately 215 pounds (98 kilograms)
- Wingspan: Around 7 feet 2 inches (2.18 meters)
- Standing Reach: Approximately 8 feet 10 inches (2.69 meters)
- Vertical Leap: Estimated at 36 inches (91 cm)
- Magic Johnson's return to the Lakers would introduce a dynamic and high-tempo style of play. His exceptional passing ability and court vision would enhance ball movement and create scoring opportunities for all teammates. Magic's presence would reduce ball-handling responsibilities of Bron/Russell/Reaves (unless one of Magic/Bron of them plays off the bench) and shift them to a more off-ball scoring roles. However, Magic's ability to create scoring opportunities for his teammates could benefit Russell by opening up more space for him to operate and score efficiently. Defensively, his instincts and anticipation would disrupt the Nuggets' offense.
- 1981-1982 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 18.6 PPG, 9.5 APG, 9.6 RPG, 2.7 SPG, 53.4% FG, 23.1% 3P, 81.5% FT
- Playoff Stats: 17.7 PPG, 9.6 APG, 10.5 RPG, 2.4 SPG, 49.0% FG, 18.2% 3P, 78.8% FT
- Achievements: Led the Lakers to the NBA championship, earning his first NBA Finals MVP award as a rookie.
- Playoff Performance: Played a pivotal role in the Lakers' championship run, including his memorable performance at center in Game 6 of the NBA Finals against Erving's 76ers.
- 1986-1987 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 23.9 PPG, 12.2 APG, 6.3 RPG, 1.7 SPG, 52.2% FG, 20.0% 3P, 84.8% FT
- Playoff Stats: 23.9 PPG, 12.5 APG, 4.5 RPG, 1.5 SPG, 49.3% FG, 15.8% 3P, 87.5% FT
- Achievements: Led the league in assists per game and was named the NBA Finals MVP.
- Playoff Performance: Guided the Lakers to the NBA championship against the Larry Bird Boston Celtics, where he averaged nearly a triple-double.
- 1981-1982 Season:
Shaquille O'Neal:
- Height: 7 feet 1 inch (2.16 meters)
- Weight: Approximately 325 pounds (147 kilograms)
- Wingspan: Around 7 feet 7 inches (2.31 meters)
- Standing Reach: Approximately 9 feet 7 inches (2.92 meters)
- Vertical Leap: Estimated at 32-36 inches (81-91 cm)
- Adding Shaquille O'Neal would bring a dominant presence in the paint, neutralizing Nikola Jokic and providing a defensive boost. Shaq's ability to draw double teams would open up driving lanes for LeBron. Shaq would alleviate some of the burden on Davis in terms of interior defense and rebounding. Austin Reaves/ Russell/ Rui's perimeter shooting will benefit as defenders collapse on Shaq or double-team him in the post. Jokic will be kicking out to MPJ/Murray/KCP relying on their perimeter shooting.
- 1997-1998 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 28.3 PPG, 11.4 RPG, 2.4 APG, 3.0 BPG, 58.4% FG, 0.0% 3P, 52.8% FT
- Playoff Stats: 28.7 PPG, 12.7 RPG, 2.5 APG, 2.7 BPG, 60.5% FG, 0.0% 3P, 48.5% FT
- Achievements: NBA All-Star, All-NBA Third Team
- Playoff Performance: Led the Lakers to the Western Conference Finals, but they were eliminated by the Malone-led Utah Jazz.
- 1999-2000 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 29.7 PPG, 13.6 RPG, 3.8 APG, 3.0 BPG, 57.4% FG, 0.0% 3P, 52.4% FT
- Playoff Stats: 30.7 PPG, 15.4 RPG, 3.1 APG, 2.4 BPG, 57.2% FG, 0.0% 3P, 49.0% FT
- Achievements: Named the MVP for the first time in his career.
- Playoff Performance: Dominated the playoffs, leading the Lakers to the NBA Finals and winning the championship against Reggie Miller's Pacers. Shaq was named NBA Finals MVP.
- 1997-1998 Season:
Jerry West:
- Height: 6 feet 2 inches (1.88 meters)
- Weight: Approximately 175 pounds (79 kilograms)
- Wingspan: Around 6 feet 6 inches (1.98 meters)
- Standing Reach: Approximately 8 feet 2 inches (2.49 meters)
- Vertical Leap: Estimated at 30 inches (76 cm)
- Mr. Clutch's return to the Lakers would add a dynamic playmaker and scorer. His scoring ability and playmaking skills would enhance ball movement and create scoring opportunities for teammates. West's ability to pressure the ball and disrupt passing lanes would challenge Jokić's playmaking and force him into shooting in the paint. With his experience and leadership, West would be a valuable asset in the Lakers' quest for a comeback.
- 1965-1966 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 31.3 PPG, 7.1 RPG, 6.1 APG, 48.1% FG, N/A 3P, 85.0% FT
- Playoff Stats: 31.9 PPG, 4.7 RPG, 5.1 APG, 49.4% FG, N/A 3P, 86.2% FT
- Achievements: All-NBA First Team, NBA All-Star & NBA All-Star Game MVP award.
- Playoff Performance: The Lakers faced the Boston Celtics in the NBA Finals, led by Bill Russell, but Jerry West and the Lakers fell short in their title pursuit.
- 1969-1970 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 31.2 PPG, 7.5 APG, 4.9 RPG, 48.2% FG, N/A 3P, 81.2% FT
- Playoff Stats: 33.9 PPG, 7.8 APG, 5.4 RPG, 48.0% FG, N/A 3P, 83.2% FT
- Achievements: In the 1969-1970 season, Jerry West continued to excel, earning All-NBA First Team honors and an NBA All-Star selection.
- Playoff Performance: The Lakers met the New York Knicks in the NBA Finals, led by Willis Reed. Despite Jerry West's stellar performances, the Lakers couldn't overcome the Knicks and missed out on the championship.
- 1965-1966 Season:
Pau Gasol:
- Height: 7 feet (2.13 meters)
- Weight: Approximately 250 pounds (113 kilograms)
- Wingspan: Around 7 feet 4 inches (2.24 meters)
- Standing Reach: Approximately 9 feet 2 inches (2.79 meters)
- Vertical Leap: Estimated at 28-30 inches (71-76 cm)
- Pau Gasol's addition to the Lakers would benefit Anthony Davis by providing more space to operate. Gasol's ability to stretch the floor, pass, and set up scoring opportunities would complement Davis' game. Gasol's ability to set screens and his passing acumen would create more scoring opportunities for Bron/Russell/Reaves. Defensively, Gasol's presence in the paint would alleviate some of the defensive burden on Davis. Gasol's size, positioning, and shot-blocking ability would make it difficult for Jokić to score inside. On the offensive end, Gasol's ability to stretch the floor with his shooting would force Jokić to defend further away from the basket.
- 2008-2009 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 18.9 PPG, 9.6 RPG, 3.5 APG, 1.0 BPG, 56.7% FG, 20.0% 3P, 78.3% FT
- Playoff Stats: 18.3 PPG, 10.8 RPG, 2.6 APG, 1.8 BPG, 50.0% FG, 0.0% 3P, 82.4% FT
- Achievements: Helped the Los Angeles Lakers secure the best record in the Western Conference. Named an NBA All-Star for the first time in his career.
- Playoff Performance: In the NBA Finals, Pau Gasol and the Lakers faced Dwight Howard and the Orlando Magic. Gasol's contributions were instrumental in securing the championship for the Lakers.
- 2009-2010 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 18.3 PPG, 11.3 RPG, 3.4 APG, 1.7 BPG, 53.6% FG, 18.8% 3P, 79.3% FT
- Playoff Stats: 19.6 PPG, 11.1 RPG, 3.5 APG, 1.5 BPG, 54.5% FG, 0.0% 3P, 81.0% FT
- Achievements: Gasol continued his strong play and was once again named an NBA All-Star.
- Playoff Performance: The Lakers met the Boston Celtics Big 3 in the NBA Finals. Pau Gasol played a crucial role in helping the Lakers win the championship in this historic rivalry matchup.
- 2008-2009 Season:
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
- Height: 7 feet 2 inches (2.18 meters)
- Weight: Approximately 225 pounds (102 kilograms)
- Wingspan: Around 7 feet 5 inches (2.26 meters)
- Standing Reach: Approximately 9 feet 6 inches (2.90 meters)
- Vertical Leap: Estimated at 28 inches (71 cm)
- Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's addition would provide Lakers with an elite scoring and rebounding option in the frontcourt while fortify the team's interior defense. Kareem's dominant post-up game and unstoppable skyhook shot would alleviate some of the scoring burden and free up space for Davis to operate and contribute on both ends of the floor. Kareem's high-percentage scoring in the paint would create more opportunities on the perimeter.
- 1975-1976 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 27.7 PPG, 16.9 RPG, 5.0 APG, 55.0% FG, N/A 3P, 70.0% FT
- Playoff Stats: 27.3 PPG, 18.5 RPG, 4.1 APG, 50.0% FG, N/A 3P, 67.7% FT
- Achievements: NBA MVP for the first time in his career. All-NBA First Team.
- Playoff Performance: Kareem led the Los Angeles Lakers to the NBA Finals, where they faced the Dave Cowen-led Boston Celtics. Despite his impressive performances, the Lakers were unable to secure the championship.
- 1984-1985 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 22.0 PPG, 7.9 RPG, 3.5 APG, 55.8% FG, N/A 3P, 77.4% FT
- Playoff Stats: 25.5 PPG, 9.0 RPG, 4.2 APG, 55.3% FG, N/A 3P, 71.7% FT
- Achievements: NBA All-Star and earned All-NBA Second Team honors.
- Playoff Performance: In a highly anticipated rematch, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and the Lakers faced Larry Bird and the Boston Celtics in the NBA Finals. Kareem's exceptional play, including his signature skyhook, played a significant role in the Lakers' victory and championship success.
- 1975-1976 Season:
Elgin Baylor:
- Height: 6 feet 5 inches (1.96 meters)
- Weight: Approximately 225 pounds (102 kilograms)
- Wingspan: Around 6 feet 9 inches (2.06 meters)
- Standing Reach: Approximately 8 feet 6 inches (2.59 meters)
- Vertical Leap: Estimated at 40 inches (101 cm)
- Elgin Baylor's return to the Lakers would inject a dynamic scoring threat and versatile playmaking ability. Baylor's scoring ability, athleticism, and creativity would complement LeBron's game and alleviate some of the scoring burden. Additionally, Baylor's rebounding skills would help the Lakers secure more possessions. Elgin Baylor's defensive impact, combined with his intensity and athleticism, would greatly bolster the Lakers' perimeter defense and pose a significant challenge for Jamal Murray. Baylor's ability to stay in front of guards, contest shots, and disrupt offensive plays would make it harder for Murray to create scoring opportunities and impact the Nuggets' offensive flow.
- 1961-1962 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 38.3 PPG, 18.6 RPG, 4.6 APG, 45.8% FG, N/A 3P, 78.4% FT
- Playoff Stats: 38.0 PPG, 16.7 RPG, 3.0 APG, 45.7% FG, N/A 3P, 76.3% FT
- Achievements: NBA All-Star and was selected to the All-NBA First Team.
- Helped the Lakers reach the NBA Finals but lost to the Bill Russell Celtics in a closely contested series.
- 1962-1963 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 34.0 PPG, 14.3 RPG, 4.8 APG, 48.0% FG, N/A 3P, 78.4% FT
- Playoff Stats: 33.8 PPG, 11.6 RPG, 4.0 APG, 43.3% FG, N/A 3P, 80.8% FT
- Achievements He was named an NBA All-Star and was selected to the All-NBA First Team.
- Playoff Performance: Baylor's exceptional performances helped the Lakers reach the NBA Finals for the second consecutive year. Despite his remarkable individual performances, the Lakers once again faced Russell and the Celtics in the NBA Finals and were unable to secure the championship.
- 1961-1962 Season:
Wilt Chamberlain:
- Height: 7 feet 1 inch (2.16 meters)
- Weight: Approximately 275 pounds (125 kilograms)
- Wingspan: Around 7 feet 8 inches (2.34 meters)
- Standing Reach: Approximately 9 feet 6 inches (2.90 meters)
- Vertical Leap: Estimated at 36-40 inches (91-101 cm)
- Wilt Chamberlain's presence on the Lakers would transform the team's interior game. His size, strength, scoring ability, and rebounding skills would create mismatches and provide a reliable scoring option in the paint. Chamberlain was one of the most prolific rebounders in NBA history. His ability to grab offensive rebounds would create extra possessions for the Lakers, leading to second-chance points and additional scoring opportunities. Chamberlain's rebounding dominance would also limit the Nuggets' ability to secure defensive rebounds, potentially leading to fast break opportunities for the Lakers. Defensively, his shot-blocking skills and ability to alter shots would disrupt the Nuggets' offensive flow. Chamberlain's size and athleticism, along with Davis, would make it challenging for Denver's players to finish at the rim.
- 1970-1971 Season:
- Regular Season Stats: 20.7 PPG, 18.2 RPG, 4.3 APG, 57.2% FG, N/A 3P, 61.2% FT
- Playoff Stats: 15.8 PPG, 20.5 RPG, 3.2 APG, 51.6% FG, N/A 3P, 42.4% FT
- Achievements: In the 1970-1971 season, Wilt Chamberlain had a remarkable year, earning several accolades. He was named an NBA All-Star and was selected to the All-NBA First Team. Additionally, he won the NBA Most Valuable Player (MVP) award for the third time in his career.
- Playoff Performance: Lakers reached the Western Conference Finals but were unable to advance to the NBA Finals losing to Kareem's Bucks.
- 1970-1971 Season:
edit: added approximate measurements
2023.05.22 21:12 huniesoft Buying a swimsuit in store?
Hi, first post here :) This year I went up a few cup sizes and none of my previous swimsuits fit me anymore. I get my bras from Lane Bryant but discovered that the smallest band size they make for swimsuits is a 40. Are there any brick and mortar stores where I’d be able to go in and try things on? Not to mention some websites I’ve looked at have sizing that varies quite a lot from LB, so I’m not sure what size I’d even be. I live in the US and am somewhere around a 34H. Thanks! :)
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